How long does it take to lose oneself? It's just a jump to the left?

That's me right now. Stuck in a time warp. Apparently it takes one week post-party to have regressed to a state of household chaos that very much resembles pre-party house chaos. With the addition of post-party mind-bending, Springsteen tour ending, hormonal panics. And a husband with a very very sore gum.

And how do I feel overall?  I feel rather remarkable.  I've only had to remove 2 items from the kitchen windowsill in a week, that is pretty good going for my compulsive surface covering hubby.  There are no extra do-dabs or non-belonging items on top of the bookcase.  The pantry is a little chaotic, but I'm onto that.  The laundry is getting a bit dodgy, but again, I'm keeping it in check. The kitchen table and kitchen bench are suffering post-party agonies (I can't see either)

On the flip side I have my blackboard, I have my daily quotes on it. The untidy 'hot spot' dumping ground near the stereo is tidy.  The fridge is tidier than it used to be.  The chaos at the moment is within me, but I'm also calmer with this month's hormonal cocktail.

Time is fleeting.

I am feeling a strong sense of that at the moment. That I must make choices that are best for the whole family.

At the moment that doesn't seem to include a trip to Santiago, much as I would LOVE to see Bruce and the E Street Band in concert again on this tour, I think I will miss out, in favour of the following range of alternate activities:

• walking the 5 km (or 10km) part of the local marathon.
• spending 5 days on the Gold Coast in a special 'children-friendly' resort 
• campervanning in the September school holidays
• my daughter's only gymnastics competition this year
• spending some time alone / with other women crafting / crocheting as an 'escape' for me
• visiting my Aunt as she celebrates her 90th birthday
• anything else that seems healing and energising that doesn't cost a small fortune in airfares.

But for now, I'm a bit in the time warp. About to turn 40. Listening to live music as I type that is tonight soothing and quietening the conflicts within.

I met (for the second time) a lovely man today, who hopefully has given me the direction and strength I need to deal with family conflicts. He's certainly given me a large list of things to look after. Who'd have thought a solicitor would be so helpful. Hopefully his charmingly brusque and forthright manner will help see me through the chaos there.

I've put on weight from doing so much Tai Chi and less walking (and lets face it, eating too many jam drops and chocolate cake slices!). I'm sure there is a balance there, but hubby needs to get out and exercise himself. Maybe some of our walks can include the children. I would love that, although its hard to get them all in the one place cooperating!

Have I said anything tonight? Probably not, but

"With a bit of a mind flip, you're into a time slip", so what does it matter?

:)

PS I learnt tonight how to change to a nicer font, yay me for conquering HTML. Also it occurs to me that blink and you miss a whole 7 days. What did you do with this week?  (tramps* don't answer, I know if you're in Europe what you've been up to!)  Blink again and 6 months have gone by.  Morale of the story? Blink infrequently, and make some memories every day.  Today's memories are of my daughters delight at jumping, her kisses of Grandad and the glorious smell of dinner cooking when I arrived home. Tomorrow I will aim for more memories and less chaos.


*aka Bruce Springsteen fans.