School holidays - off to an interesting start!

Day 1 of the school holidays was a mixed bag of crazy.  With both adults and the eldest child feeling very under the weather and out of sorts, the chance of a significant clash with 2 energetic smaller folk was pretty high.  

This is how we ended up in the car going on a "penny hike" which took us to a lovely creekside viewing platform where the three children all delighted in playing counting and running games with the wooden logs. Happy parent!

These holidays I've decided to focus on sight words for my boy, he is really 'getting' reading now, but totally missed learning those strange words like 'have" 'the' and 'you' etc. It makes reading that much slower than it needs to be. I've written the first 3 words in glass marking pens on our back door so he gets to read them every time he goes out to play!

We also did a science experiment last night, an amazingly short one, but they all delighted nonetheless in the occasional spillage of water on the dining room floor!  It is funny how the simplest things are awesome to a smaller person, everyone from the 2 year old to the 9 year old had a good time tipping up their water glass and trying not to break the seal with the cardboard.

I love school holidays because there is so much more time for reading. We've read 4 books already in 2 days (I'm counting Friday as everyone was home sick). One of our favourites that still requires me to read aloud is Mr Chicken Goes to Paris. It is especially funny when we have our French backpackers staying with us.

I'm especially proud of the learning my eldest is doing. She's constructed a cubbyhouse in our mango tree, that even includes a rope pulley system for getting items up into the tree and down again. A very good thing that years ago when installing our pool I didn't let anyone cut down the lower branches of our young tree, so that it had the chance to grow into a perfect climbing tree for our girl and her independent exploration.

There's nothing more enjoyable than being a part of the children's lives and education, I am such a homeschooler at heart, these school holidays for me are always a precious opportunity to grab a moment and spend time with the children that doesn't seem to be possible when they are at school.  The temptation to get on the road and just travel around while they are so small is very strong!

Thank you E Street Band!

This year, almost as soon as Bruce and the E Street band packed their bags and departed our beaches, the world changed for me.

When I saw Bruce Springsteen in 2013, something changed in a massively positive and awesome way for me.  Then, somehow at the end of February this year, having taken an epic 4 week and 9 concert holiday around 5 states of this beautiful land, life just started nosediving.

The theory I like the most is twofold. One, after sooo much Bruce and E Street Band, I felt invincible and instead of taking on only a single thing (my health / weight / fitness), I started tackling ALL THE THINGS. I was like  the blogger who decides to be an adult and CLEAN ALL THE THINGS.  It was taxing. I collapsed under the strain a little bit. This combined with the fact that travelling if not 'with' a huge group of people outside of my normal 'bubble' was a bit of a rude shock. Travelling in such proximity to such a large group for such a long time, certainly threw me for a six on a number of occasions. I was spent before leaving, the tour was to recharge my batteries (which it did), but I found it difficult to take on a whole new group of strangers, I just didn't have the emotional gusto at that time.

And thus, life post tour has been quite odd. Weeks go by when I don't feel any of the empowering inspiration that lingered for so much longer post-2013 concerts. There are days when it all feels like a dream.  

And then there are precious moments like today, when putting my son to bed, when my phone is out of batteries (no Bruce setlist!) and he says to me "But Dad's phone has Dream Baby Dream!" and then "Doesn't Dad have Wrecking Ball?" The cute, it burns.  He fell asleep listening to Cadillac Ranch from a youtube clip of Sydney in the end :)

Which reminded me of just how grateful I am for the E Street Band, so I'm writing this thank you for them.

This was my view of the concert in Adelaide with my beautiful daughter, and delightful friend. We had the most amazing time!

To Eddie, thank you for the down to earth facebook posts, and your sense of humour. Thank you for thanking us in Perth.  Perth was so special for me, I met some wonderful people and you played such a big part in making it all feel lovely.  It was in hindsight quite funny to see you in Sydney, well, to barrel past you with my crazy loud family and not recognise you, not that I could think at all clearly at that point, a common state when running after 3 energetic kids. Next time, please jump in front of me and say "boo!"; I'll keep a lookout for men without saxophones leaping out from behind their beautiful wives. You continue to be an inspiration to me, your posts remind me that hard work is what achieves goals, what keeps us where we want to be in life, my thanks. I am glad that you have visited and enjoyed my country.

To Charlie, thank you for the winks and smiles in Perth, what fun! It makes such a difference to know that we're all having fun together :)

To Soozie, thank you for playing the Violin. You inspire my daughter whenever she sees you onstage.  Thank you for being friendly, for smiling, for not looking crossly in my direction when my poor tired, overheated daughter (same one who cheerfully survived 43 degree heat and insisted on staying up till 12:30 to see Bruce leave in Adelaide, who begged to be allowed to come to Brisbane too!) looked miserable and wilted. Thank you for smiling, not frowning!

Max, thank you for being the incredible backbone of the band. Last year you blew me away and I spent hours watching you mesmerised by the way you work your magic.  And I have a new respect and appreciation for drums, everywhere. You've opened up a whole new way of listening to music for me.

Stevie Van Zandt, thank you for being you. I was only on your side of the stage a few times, but your energy and cheekiness is amazing and so much fun. Thank you most of all for standing with Bruce and singing to my daughter. Thank you for waving to us in Sydney when we were way up behind you.  And thank you for Lillehammer! I have not yet watched it,and look forward to the chance to watch it all!

Roy, you legend. Thank you for every note played, including the ones played with Bruce's head. Thank you so much for the beautiful music.

Everett, thank you for those incredible drum-offs :)

Michelle, Cindy & Curtis oh my thank you for the fun! My girl and I thoroughly enjoyed waving to you during the Sydney show and she loved seeing how you work together at the back of the stage to give us such a wonderful night of music. The waves and smiles made her feel so special, thank you xxxx

Barry, Clark & Curt I love it when you all get to the front of the stage, your sense of fun is infectious, thank you!

Garry, you are such a dark horse hiding quietly behind your bass. Thank you for the moments when your smile lights up the room. 

Nils, like Eddie, you have been and continue to be, such an influence on me as a person. Musically I'm challenged, but your happy outlook, and the incredible vibe from you in 2013 especially made a huge impact on my outlook. Your accessibility to fans as people is incredible. You made me feel welcome on twitter, for which I thank you. I have enjoyed immensely learning from your example on stage and off, and wow, I love watching you play Because the Night. Thank you!

Jake, I have not sufficient words. I came to see the E Street Band for the first time with you already filling those big shoes. I think that not only do you do an amazing job, but you bring a young energy with you. Blessings and thanks!

And Tom, again, for me you are a part of the E Street Band as I know it.  But what a new and exciting influence on amazing.  I love to watch you, the juxaposition of your energy and personal styles with some of not-quite-so-Tom songs! Your face is a picture!  Thank you for standing up for those who need a voice! Thank you for the hours of fun in Perth particularly, your smile is infectious. Thank for for your contribution to The Ghost of Tom Joad, which now makes me cry. 

Bruce Springsteen, thank you for singing to my daughter, so very much. It means so much to her and made my night to see her shine with happiness both in Adelaide and Sydney. Thank you for meeting her, and for the hindsight-object-lesson-in-parenting that sometimes Mums just need to shut up and listen!  That one is going to be a challenge for me.  Thank you for the challenges! Since seeing you in concert for the first time in 2013, my life has changed. You are this person who opened the door into your soul in a concert and who in doing so exposed my own inner self. The magic has rubbed off a little differently this year, but I'm sure it is still there, no excuses to be so sick, no excuses not to exercise, no excuses for not being the best of me in this life. All that matters in the end are our family, our health and the little piece of us we pass along to others through our actions. Have a good time in this life right now, because it is the only one we have! Thank for, and the whole E Street Band for that lesson.

Most of all thank you for the chance to share this experience with my daughter, we have the happiest memories together!  Be warned, next tour my son insists he is coming along too!

Why I wish I hadn't done Bruce in Brisbane

I've reached a certain point now, where at this very moment, I simply wish I had not attended the Brisbane concert at all. Would I be jealous of those who had? Probably yes, especially as almost all the people I know raved about it. However the concert they experienced, was not the same one I attended. For me, the Brisbane concert was the one that quite simply, went wrong. It summed up all that was crappy and shit on the tour of Australia, and did nothing at all to uplift me as every other Springsteen concert has done. 

My reasons why are:

1. Poor queue preparation / outcomes / moods
I really don't think I have the mindset required to enjoy queuing. I hate waiting for one thing. I also hate wasting time, and tension. Queues are filled with all of that and more.  But the Brisbane queue was especially crap, as one of my friends arrived first, then told other people, then they said 'just go home till tomorrow' and then the 2nd group of people turned up, apparently took over number 1&2 spot from 2 other people and then eventually because I was parked in my car with nothing else to do for the afternoon I ended up getting number 9 & 10 spot with my daughter. This soon turned into 7 & 8 when two people dropped out. This should have made us happy, but because of the tension (I assume from the above confusion between everyone with a higher number than us) it just made me uncomfortable. I was alone with my girl with a very good number but with no immediate prospect of being near any friendly faces who would assist me in ensuring my girl's safety in the pit.  I didn't really want to have such low numbers with her, without also having along another adult beside us who was as committed to safety as I was.  This tension stayed with me for the 3 days of queuing. 

2. My beautiful daughter. 
Who convinced me to do just one more show.  I do not regret taking her, not a bit, but there were many moments when I questioned my decisions & hers.  We had a pact that because she was going to be at the front, no sooking or getting tired (she had managed 2 concerts already in fine form so I didn't foresee how this could happen!) What I didn't think ahead to was what I would do if she couldn't keep her side of the bargain (nobody is perfect!) I should have had a plan B!!!! So what went wrong?  Quite a bit. Because we now had tour shirts post-Sydney, and the ladies in the Brisvegas Bruce house were dressing up, she wanted to join into that fun. Great, except that her previous concert attire was far more suited to long hours standing in a sweat box! She went from very cool loose summer clothes to leggings and a hot Born in the USA T-Shirt in the hope of getting onstage for Sunny Day, the song Bruce always sings with a child from the audience. We also ended up in a group of people who did not approve of her presence in the audience, and were not afraid to say so. We were blessed by one lovely lady who stood her ground behind my daughter and protected her from the worst shoving crowd I've experienced at Springsteen (another thing that went wrong with having brought her along to this particular concert) But there's more. The heat. It was worse than Adelaide, which was bad enough that a woman fainted with heatstroke beside us. So much hotter. And my 9 year old was wearing her hot leggings and t-shirt. So she really wasn't having fun. And it showed to everyone that she was melting, although I was slow to catch on, and only realised towards the end of the encores that she really was feeling the heat, and not just hating the music.  Which is the final disaster in her experience (well almost). So the Wild, The Innocent and the E Street Shuffle did not appeal to her. She wanted the Rock n Roll Bruce show. Hunter Valley 1 would have been right up her alleyway. Brisbane was not. How much of this was affected by the loud shouting directly at her that "she shouldn't even be here anyway" during the opening song I don't know.

I feel better for having vented. There are other, small things that upset me about Brisbane. Some not so small. Despite all this negative writing, I am from this point on going to always focus on the positives I can take out of the experience of the show. These were:

1. Seeing my friend's eyes light up at hearing the sound check played, and not long later at hearing her favourite song "Does this Bus Stop at 82nd Street?"

2. Seeing a lovely young woman in happy tears on her Birthday after meeting Bruce and speaking with him after the concert. 

3. Seeing Gary Tallent with a Tuba  (that's a poor picture of it there! But so funny :)




















4. Remembering all the good times I'd had through the whole tour, and the people who made the experience so special. 

And now I'm done. I can look back on this and laugh, as Garfield has said in cartoons past about terrible mishaps.  

This entire post was inspired by reading 7 Ways to Let go of Insults from an A*Hole 

Hot!

52 Weeks project. I'm sure the intention is to do this as you go, however I was inspired by a friend's efforts, so I am attempting 52 weeks of photos of each of my children from 2013. I am up to June and only started on New Year's Eve. I'm hoping to perhaps finish this weekend. What a wonderful start to the year that would be.

Today I am perplexed by the never-ending trashiness of my house. I understand how it happens, and what delicately balanced forces tip, however I am slightly confused as to whether I am actually managing to make marginal progress.   I have discovered quite a few 'before' photos in my delving into the past year and I might be wrong, but it seems like I am winning the war on behaviour and stuff just a teeny tiny bit.

Having said that, it occurs to me that it is entirely up to me to start some cleaning projects tomorrow - to get stuck into the 'surfaces' and hopefully through tidying those places that shouldn't be messed up to begin with, it will bring me some calm and clarity. And it won't hurt in making a good impression on the house sitters if they come for a meet and greet either!

I can see that before I go to bed it will be a good idea to simply do 3 things to tidy up, nothing big, just throw out the milk cartons, wash up and maybe sweep the floor to give me a little bit of head start tomorrow.

GTFTS - a summer dilemma!

Tonight's theme has been:

I love that one of our most well-known children's show hosts is reading it. Although it does seem to have confused some conservative dills, as you can observe here.

 And there is also the enjoyable Samuel L Jackson narration.

And me? I'm going to make an effort to wear out said children tomorrow OR get them to get a daytime nap so that they indeed do Go the Fuck to Sleep!  

Today also included a hot tip about budget organising using google docs....must update later!

7000 days - the end of one life.

Yesterday I said my final goodbye to my faithful feline companion of 20 years. Remembering some of the early years with a friend, I calculated that we'd had about 7000 days together. Too short, too soon they were over.  I turned 40 this year, and there are about another 7000 days before I enter what I think of as 'beginning to be old' although from what I've seen, if you are fit enough, and fortunate, age that really 'ages' you does not come until after 80. So I have 7000 days of 'mature adulthood' ahead of me. Possibly that is an oxymoron - I don't know that adulthood is really connected to maturity and not certain that age is either. But I'm willing to call it that in my head :)

I had about 7200 days with my little furry purry pusscat. In that time he's seen me move house 3 times, lose 3 uncles and my Mum. He's endured the 'single period' as well as glared at 4 boyfriends. He took the appearance of the first two children with grace and the third with resignation. He's played in the Christmas tinsel, bitten our neighbour, teased the dog next door, explored the creek, raced... straight up a tree so high that the vertical descent arse first shredded his claws and he has purred and loved me for those days without question. Not bad for a cat who was chosen by my boyfriend all those years ago because he was the cat who wanted to get out the most! I think that despite the potentially excessive nights out drinking and then nights in playing online games, overall I've made good use of my last 7000 days. I plan to make even better use of the next 7000. I am grateful for the companionship, feline and human that I've had during my adulthood. The feline company will be sorely missed.

  

What would make better use of the next 7000 days? More gratitude, contentment and to have seen and done things, especially with my children that they will remember. To have been a kinder, calmer human being so that my children can pass that on  to their children.

Yesterday I couldn't have been prouder of my 3 children as they all said goodbye to my cat, patting him and then helping with his burial ceremony. They picked flowers and arranged 2 matching vases, collected decorative stones, and finally created their own headstone from a brick with their own words:

"Dear Tinky, we wish you were alive right now. We love you very much."

They helped in every way with his burial, said final words to him and held me as I wept. I am blessed.

 

 

 

 

Busy Days

Its the time of year when I like to try to enjoy myself, but am often overwhelmed by the volume of things that need to happen between now and the closing of the year!

In our household there are 3 birthdays, 2 school end of year's events, and finally Christmas.  I like to 'get my Christmas on' early, and it so rarely happens. Most of the time it is less than a week before the big day that we finally decorate.

This year I'm busily getting life in some semblance of order now, before the silly season begins.

In the past week I've organised my 2 children's birthday celebrations - both sets of invitations have now been sent, bookings made and presents are in the works.

I've also spent time checking both schools and sporting activities for upcoming events and have transferred them into my phone's calendar as well as on to an A4 sheet  for the months as I need the visual reminder!

I got stuck into the lawnmowing this afternoon, as a prelude to putting up lights - these will be first on the agenda this weekend, alongside last minute birthday shopping.

All the things to do are making me dizzy. The idea is that this year, my attitude of simplifying and organising will combine to mean that the lights really do go up this weekend!

Chore Wars - Inspired idea!

I feel that I'm a bit slow to things this year. First I discover that the 'pretty good' Bruce Springsteen is actually an amazing inspirational artist who has a remarkably loyal and incredible group of fans. And now I have encountered 'Chore Wars' - the absolute must-have for house work and household management for the gamer family!

My family's motivations are transformed! I have my elder child battling it out with me for the most XP (experience points for the unfortunate non-gamer readers) and my boy competing fiercely with Daddy for the most male XP in the household. Pretty soon the two big ones will have to watch out as the toddler gets her own share of XP thanks to her helpful nature!

You can start out with the pre-generated jobs like washing up, putting on laundry, cooking dinner, but it is very simple to add your own household full of duties and to give them funky D&D style names such as "Storing Armour for the Morrow" which is Chore Wars speak for "putting away your clean clothes".

I am loving it!  The downside is as the local Dungeon Master (DM) for my party, I am the one who is creating all the jobs, so I'm falling behind on my own personal XP, spending a lot of time micro-managing every little job in the household.

I'm hoping this is a transformative experience for all of us, so far the children have been very enthusiastic and time will tell if it shames hubby into lifting his game!

Personally I am looking forward to exploring Quests - they sound promising.

At the moment the 14 days of household deep cleaning has been derailed by Chore Wars, but I'm ok with that. I think when I have Chore Wars functioning, I will re-start the 14 day deep cleaning as a 14 week project as it was meant to be.

If you like online games, or roleplaying, go check it out, Chore Wars. Excellent stuff.

Cleaning party to Springsteen!

There were fabulous parts to my day.   Getting to see the excellent quality live-streamed Rock in Rio concert was one of them.  Doing that while sorting out a massive pile of papers at least got me through the cleaning up in one piece.

Here's what I'm up to - its the Cleaning Grand Plan from Organized Home. I am loving trying something new and sticking with a new method of getting things done - breaking out of my previous habit of insanely repeating the same things over and over and hoping for a miraculous change.  

Today I moved along all the clean laundry from the laundry room into bedrooms and the linen closet, freeing up room to move shelving from in the laundry to it's proper destination - the kitchen.  However the spot for the shelving in the kitchen was a little cluttered with what I like to call "boxes of rubbish" but apparently are made up of equal parts bills and children's artworks with a selection of random craft, mementos and photographs!

This is the pile of papers for my father that I need to copy! Oh how I long for a lackey to do THAT for me!

 I did take some lovely photos of elder child's artwork. I like how insanely bright this is! She doesn't want to throw it all away, but my next project is to label it as photographed and if it drifts out of her bedroom then in the bin it goes. I also hope to print out a collage to frame on the wall, but thats a project for another day.

What I learnt today was that it is a very bad thing to let bills get out of control and pile up, because in this household, that means they eventually end up in a random box with other non-bill things and that's never going to end well.  I also learnt that getting control of paperwork is going to always be an ongoing thing for me, its not at all my strong suit. In fact papers would easily be where I lose the war with 'stuff' - I am reconsidering the sanity of having all bills arrive by email. For me personally that would require a separate 'bills' email account so they didn't get lost in my general and junk mail.  That's certainly something to get onto, as then the 'paper' could pile up inside my computer where only I see it!

This afternoon's exercise was a walk up the hill from the children's playground to my Dad's nursing home, about 20 minutes with views like this along the way.

Sunset over the river. Glorious time for walking in a beautiful place.

 I have a thing for clover on the side of the road. Especially around the bottom of very old telegraph poles :)

Tomorrow is a work day, also a day for sorting out quite a bit for my Dad. Hubby should be working on the shelving while I'm gone, so kitchen progress will be made. Tuesday all going well I will move on to the next cleaning adventure on the Grand Plan.

How long does it take to lose oneself? It's just a jump to the left?

That's me right now. Stuck in a time warp. Apparently it takes one week post-party to have regressed to a state of household chaos that very much resembles pre-party house chaos. With the addition of post-party mind-bending, Springsteen tour ending, hormonal panics. And a husband with a very very sore gum.

And how do I feel overall?  I feel rather remarkable.  I've only had to remove 2 items from the kitchen windowsill in a week, that is pretty good going for my compulsive surface covering hubby.  There are no extra do-dabs or non-belonging items on top of the bookcase.  The pantry is a little chaotic, but I'm onto that.  The laundry is getting a bit dodgy, but again, I'm keeping it in check. The kitchen table and kitchen bench are suffering post-party agonies (I can't see either)

On the flip side I have my blackboard, I have my daily quotes on it. The untidy 'hot spot' dumping ground near the stereo is tidy.  The fridge is tidier than it used to be.  The chaos at the moment is within me, but I'm also calmer with this month's hormonal cocktail.

Time is fleeting.

I am feeling a strong sense of that at the moment. That I must make choices that are best for the whole family.

At the moment that doesn't seem to include a trip to Santiago, much as I would LOVE to see Bruce and the E Street Band in concert again on this tour, I think I will miss out, in favour of the following range of alternate activities:

• walking the 5 km (or 10km) part of the local marathon.
• spending 5 days on the Gold Coast in a special 'children-friendly' resort 
• campervanning in the September school holidays
• my daughter's only gymnastics competition this year
• spending some time alone / with other women crafting / crocheting as an 'escape' for me
• visiting my Aunt as she celebrates her 90th birthday
• anything else that seems healing and energising that doesn't cost a small fortune in airfares.

But for now, I'm a bit in the time warp. About to turn 40. Listening to live music as I type that is tonight soothing and quietening the conflicts within.

I met (for the second time) a lovely man today, who hopefully has given me the direction and strength I need to deal with family conflicts. He's certainly given me a large list of things to look after. Who'd have thought a solicitor would be so helpful. Hopefully his charmingly brusque and forthright manner will help see me through the chaos there.

I've put on weight from doing so much Tai Chi and less walking (and lets face it, eating too many jam drops and chocolate cake slices!). I'm sure there is a balance there, but hubby needs to get out and exercise himself. Maybe some of our walks can include the children. I would love that, although its hard to get them all in the one place cooperating!

Have I said anything tonight? Probably not, but

"With a bit of a mind flip, you're into a time slip", so what does it matter?

:)

PS I learnt tonight how to change to a nicer font, yay me for conquering HTML. Also it occurs to me that blink and you miss a whole 7 days. What did you do with this week?  (tramps* don't answer, I know if you're in Europe what you've been up to!)  Blink again and 6 months have gone by.  Morale of the story? Blink infrequently, and make some memories every day.  Today's memories are of my daughters delight at jumping, her kisses of Grandad and the glorious smell of dinner cooking when I arrived home. Tomorrow I will aim for more memories and less chaos.


*aka Bruce Springsteen fans.

Rainbow Jelly Cups

Yes, that's it. Rainbow Jelly cups are the pinnacle of my life right now. (this could just be another way of saying that without seeing Bruce Springsteen and the band in Europe, life is meaningless!)

But back to the Jelly Cups and the strange things I am learning from them.

If I can just do this one hard thing, everything else will fall into place.
Firstly I'm learning that I have a wonky way of seeing myself.  I seem to think that if I can conquer rainbow jelly cups for my daughter's party, then somehow I will manage absolutely everything else.  Interesting in theory.

I'm busy doing this one hard thing and don't want to stop.
I'm also discovering that I'm obsessed with these jelly cups. I am having to stop myself from losing all perspective and force myself to attend to other party needs. Perhaps having lost the passion fruit jelly today, only to find it much later, and then discover that it isn't purple at all, its YELLOW. Not helpful when you're up to the "indigo and violet" end of the spectrum!  Having stalled in the jelly construction has at least given me time to continue the cleaning.  Which brings me to another party realisation.

Facing facts - I'm extrinsically motivated.
No matter how much I try to develop intrinsic motivation, or to appreciate whatever is intrinsic, the bottom line is I'm extremely extrinsically motivated. Excessively so even.  I'm finally having a party, my daughter's best friend is coming over for the first time, and I suddenly have the guts and wherewithal and all tools needed to tackle that dusty pile of messy stuff on top of the stereo.  In the past 2 years is there really a reason I couldn't have found this ability for myself?  Apparently not.  When I do things for myself the time frame is slower and infinitely more painful.  This extrinsic stuff really pumps my juices. Extrovert anyone?

And talented at layering cold fun stuff.
But wait, there's more to this blog and more realisations.  This one's a quirky one.   Apparently I'm good at making layered cold stuff.  I should try more of it, for the Mumma ego boosting qualities.  Logical reasons why layered cold stuff ought to be challenging are that you have to spend a prolonged period of time devoted to the construction, which also seems to involve technicalities around the exact timing versus what you're trying to achieve.  Apparently I kick arse at this.  So far my repertoire is rainbow jelly and frozen 'discovery' icebergs.

 

 

Just in case you desperately need to know -here's how to make Rainbow Jelly Cups. (pictured above minus the infuriatingly not present purple jelly)

 

How to make Rainbow Jelly Cups

1. Buy plastic cups and 2 packets each of red, yellow, green, blue and purple jelly.  My layers are uneven because of differing amounts of jelly. Plus if you stuff up its always good to have backup. You could also try simply buying orange jelly and sticking to one packet each. It depends whether you like the blended look between my red and yellow better than the neat layer between my yellow and blue.

 

2. Make up your red (or purple) jelly and pour into cups evenly. I made 12 cups from one packet of each, but I think I'll need 2 packets for the top layer as the blue is a little thin.

 

3. Wait for it to set.  If you are layering to blend colours, make up a new jelly (in mine I did red then yellow) and when it cools to just warm, pour over the red and refrigerate quickly. The red and yellow will blend to make orange. I then did a new layer of yellow.  If you are not blending colours, leave the new jelly to cool to room temperature and add to the layers in the cup.   Repeat for all colours.

 

or you could go to the source of my Jelly adventures at Pink and Green Mama and see if her version makes more sense :)

 

Its simple really isn't it?  I have taken 3 days to make these, but I'm in no hurry. While I'm making jelly I'm not worrying about the other million party preparations. Its supposed to be fun,right? Well apparently jelly cups are my idea of fun :)





Indecision - a real threat to happiness

So here I sit, as I attempt to come to terms with the past few months lack of decisiveness on the issue of a European Bruce holiday, and wracked with agony over the correct date to hold my daughter's 2nd birthday party, and where.

And then I realise. I've been hit with the indecisiveness bug. That one that bites you on the derriere as soon as you let it creep back into your life.  And so began my Internet search for answers to party problem (the Bruce Springsteen problem now rests entirely on the outcome of a competition for tickets to Cardiff on 23rd July).

And I was first struck by this quote “Indecision is often worse than wrong action.” – Henry Ford

That's the crux of it isn't it? There is no point wavering from here till eternity wondering, or being in fear of being wrong.  It was a matter of just doing it.  Which solved my problem with the birthday party at least.  I made decisions. Plenty of them. First I would let / encourage the active participation of my elder children who want to be the ones throwing their sister a party. Going along with that theme, to keep their enthusiasm, I chose  the nearer party date, and for our home to be the location, despite my fears, because it would be easier for them.  Decision made, I figure in terms of parties it couldn't possibly go as wrong as my elder daughter's 3rd birthday party that had to be cancelled on the day (as some guests arrived) because her baby brother was born that morning at home!

As the day wore on, the links between this birthday party, my decreased happiness and my total lack of commitment to my 'dream' of seeing Bruce and the ESB in Europe became more obvious.  I see now that my uncertainty and tentativeness meant that I was never going to be going to Europe, I simply did not show the commitment and determination necessary.

I had walked straight into the problem identified by this website

However, the problem with being indecisive about the bigger things is that often, the window of opportunity to make a decision is limited and so if someone can’t make a decision for themselves, other people or changing circumstances make the decision for them.

That was me. Circumstances of less than a fortnight left of the European tour (and possibly the whole Wrecking Ball Tour) make it logistically almost impossible now to get the family to Europe.

So I reason with myself a little. I console myself that I've lost 13kgs, and that is a good thing. I argue that my house cleaning is still not completed, but that signs are promising as I'm making terrific progress. Most of all I apply the most basic reason - that it is really scary the idea of taking the family to Europe and that I've spent the money on children's school fees and sports tuition.

But I'm not at all impressed with my weeks of agony over the birthday party; and I'm certainly not looking forward to the next two weeks of hearing of the last tour gigs.  I don't like to think that had I been decisive, the stresses of the past weeks might've been the stresses of getting three children through an international airport to connecting flights, or of finding our accommodation in a strange country. But no.

So my Internet search led me to this page, where the following quote gives me pause for thought:

“A test of mental strength is the ability to take firm decisions. Indecision is always a sign of mental weakness. It shows there are unresolved conflicts within you. And conflicts undermine the integrity of the personality. If we remain in a state of indecision for a long time, instead of gaining strength we become weaker. To remain in a state of indecision and then to try to make your mind strong is stupid. We must be very decisive about small things. Then we find it easier to take decisions about bigger things. Even the smallest thing in life is to be done consciously, intelligently, decisively, coordinating all of the faculties – feeling, thinking, and willing. Cultivate good habits early in life. A well regulated life is of great help. If we follow a strict routine every day, many of the little problems in life will not create indecision and worries. Then we get more energy and time for bigger things. We must not lie in bed and go on thinking for half an hour, ‘Shall I get up or not?’ Either get up immediately or sleep for another half an hour, but do not remain in an indecisive state. Indecision is very harmful. Let not the little things of life nag you constantly and dissipate your energies.” Swami Avdheshanand.

So many factors there.  I recently searched on the emotional causes of rheumatoid arthritis, and funnily enough, it said unresolved conflicts!

Putting that little gem aside for a moment, the website suggests the following steps to improving that mental strength:

1. Spend a few days noticing when you are caught in the clutches of indecision – what types of things are bothering you? Are they small things or big things? How much time do you devote to make simple decisions?
2. Pick one thing to focus on, something that you constantly struggle with (it could be what time to get up in the morning, what to eat that day, what outfit to wear). Make sure it’s a small thing to start with so you don’t make it too difficult for yourself.
3. Next time you find yourself struggling to choose on your chosen subject, remind yourself mentally “I am a decisive person and I will not waste my time and energy with this.”
4. Now – simply pick one option. Make a decision quickly and commit to it. It doesn’t matter if it’s the right decision or not – just do it.
5. Let it go. Refrain from labouring about whether you made the right choice or not and move on. Do something immediately that really does matter to you – and if possible something that will make a positive difference to your life or to the lives of others.
- See more at: http://simplelifestrategies.com/5-steps-to-overcome-indecision/#sthash.5FZbFF6V.dpuf

Or, to follow the suggestion a friend made a few weeks ago about the housework. Decide to do SOME (e.g. start with just one thing like emptying the dishwasher) or decide not to. Don't agonise over everything, because that is a total waste of time. At least if I decide not to do housework, I'll be free to ENJOY whatever else I do instead, making it at least a fun use of my time :)

I've been totally missing this obvious common sense over Bruce Springsteen's Tour, and again about the birthday party ideas. Now I just need to make the most of where I am now.   I know I feel better for having made the decisions about the party, and with a light heart, rather than a doubting one. So far all the rest of the decisions about my little girl's party have come easier and easier because I'm committed to it.

I'll spend some time thinking about those 5 steps and about conflict!

I've been foolish

So for the past week I've been banging on about the 10 important things and in particular always noted how Tai Chi makes all the difference, keeps blood pressure in check, calms me down etc etc.  This does not explain why it is that I have not done Tai Chi for 12 days, a fortnight if you count that last Thursday's class I only did one set before it was time for the soup night.  Foolish foolish me.

I say this because last night I had an episode of high blood pressure that was frightening. I don't like thinking about it even now as I haven't fully recovered 'normal' yet.  What I have realised is that I need my Tai Chi more than just about anything else!

And of course that I'm quite remarkable, because despite the blood pressure set-back; the needing of almost constant phone support for calm focus today, I have still managed to have a fun day with the children (parts of it!)

Smallest and largest made this pom-pom shaker

Then we shared making of pikelets for afternoon tea.

And then my boy drew this campfire and a picture of me in a nice hat and gloves! (its upside down)

And after all that I went to Tai Chi!

End of Challenge Week summary

This is the summary of my week. I am finding this system a really good way of record-keeping, its like a cheating diary! I just pop a few words in each section and voila, there is some idea of the tone of my day!

Overally I think I summarised it well last night. More dietary rigour and keep up the efforts with the remainder.  Tonight I brought home my eldest child after a week with Nana & Pop, so tomorrow will be very different with all three babies in the house with me! Hopefully not too many arguments! Pikelets for breakfast tomorrow, and a craft day for all children planned.

I feel a sense of achievement as I walked into a chaotic mess this evening after along day at work; and rather than waste energy on being upset, I simply started cleaning and in no time at all all the dishes were in the sink, leftover food in the bin, the kitchen table clean and floor beginning to look less like a cylone damaged area.

This week coming I need to organise my bills and budget again as it has slipped in recent weeks; and begin to organise after school activities and sports for three little folk. Plus more cleaning and crafting!

Day 4 - crafting inspiration

That's my day - out with children I not only have inspiration for what to craft but how to store it all thanks to the inspiration of my friend Lyn.

Here are the crafty ideas I've photographed today that look nice and simple. I love simple.

This one is a paper bag monster. Streamers /wool / paper strips for hair, and patty cake eyes. Everything else can be drawn.  I've just been inspired as to how to sort Pinterest as well - I haven't done it yet, but need a board called "Paper Bag Craft" - because there are a ream of paper bag oriented crafts.

We have a giant canvas that I picked up on sale for under $20. I love the idea of just covering it with paint any way we want to for "messy play painting".

I love the simplicity of these flowers. You can buy the flower cardboard from discount stores, and the rest is shiny paper - cellophane!

I love the simplicity of shiny octopus, and they also had shiny sea star. Clever ideas. Also hand fish. This is something to put on my 'under the sea' wall. Also to cut out of the giant cardboard I'm sure I could still find around the place.

Today was about average in its paying attention to all things positive. I spent the whole day and evening out with children, so exhaustion has kind of set in. A good time was had, plus a late night, so hopefully a sleep in tomorrow!

Challenge Day 3 - found here

Challenge Day 2 - found here

Challenge Day 1 - found here

(I am experimenting with ways to make this blogging process more navigable for myself here, so far no breakthroughs)

Day 2 - positive energy

Today was the first day of my school holiday plan. I think it went well. More or less according to plan.  I'm blogging on the mobile so will keep this brief as its time for sleep too. It was an emotional day today as I cleaned up (again) a large quantity of the children's toys that have gotten into a sorry, disorganised state. So many factors contributed to this - illnesses, acts of God (just the one storm actually) and emotional attachment to chaos (not me!!)

What I find incredible is that on my walk tonight, when thinking on what I was grateful for, I found myself turning around a negative (hubby's horrible toy toss method of making chaos) and found naked being grateful FIRST today for the fact he got the toys all in one location! In a day of many blessings I'm so glad I changed my thinking on this!

Best bit of today was building a campfire and having toast, potatoes and marshmallows :)

 

 

Health & Happiness Challenge Day 1

I have started two new blog posts tonight, as well as a spreadsheet to help me keep track of my challenges for the week.

Today was an extra work day for me while the children saw cousins with their Nana and Pop. So it didn't leave a LOT of time for exercise (I did a quick 10 minute walk before being picked up from work), or for reaching out to friends (so I emailed photos of the children to the family).

My Bruce time was mostly during the walk, although I did have my mindful Bruce attitude all day, holding my head up higher, and being happy in myself.

I'm grateful for another 2 hour drive home without tears and wailing from the little children. I'm grateful my cat survived a second day without his midday medication.

My diet could have been better as I had iced coffeee (yum!); but I also have had 1/3 of my water and I've eaten plenty of Kale today.

I phoned my father, it was lovely to speak with him after a busy day yesterday, and to hear that the private physiotherapist I have in to see him weekly was a highlight of his day as she took him for a longer walk than the staff usually do.

My excel spreadsheet looks a little like this:

 

Was flat, now a new week of challenges!

I'm a bit frightened. I have psoriasis coming back. New outbreaks on my legs, and my arm scar tissue is doing the opposite of fading.

There are so many things that I can attribute it to, but my gut says it all boils down to that extra special spark of happiness post-Springsteen and the E-Street Band concerts. 

I know I've eaten badly, for enough weeks that it is affecting me, so perhaps it is that. I know my exercise has dropped off with the cold wet weather, illnesses and extra child at home.

I know that my stress levels have skyrocketed with various unavoidable dramatic personalities, including my son's exhausted end-of-term teacher-inspired nervousness at everything. 

What I don't know is how to make it better. I have written so many words in my searching for various motivations and direction, yet still manage to come to this place where things go horribly wrong despite my best intentions.

I feel like I need a plan, or a mantra and a plan. Goals. I find it difficult to cope with when my goals aren't met on time. I was pretty heartbroken when I didn't reach my goal weight at the end of April. Since then I've tried to be more flexible, but then, without a solid goal, it is easy to slowly seep into excuse making by default. That place where you don't actually make excuses, but you excuse yourself from having to be responsible. 

I did this for a whole week recently over my son's school troubles. In some ways the week of 'not dealing with it' gave me some breathing space, but on the other hand, what kind of emotional state was I already in that I needed to re-create an emotional buffer that took a week in the making?

Part of the problem might have been that I've let the blog get out of control, so instead of having a daily reflection on how I'm doing, its barely a weekly review.

I'm sure I did  this list only a few weeks ago - exercise, blog, Bruce, gratefulness, Tai Chi, friendship.  I think its time for another 'challenge' where I focus on these elements as well as the special school holiday additions of children-time and cleanout-time. Challenge week time it is. First challenge will be getting to the blog daily!

I also left out diet! After naming it as the second most likely cause of disease disaster, I need  to remember at least the basics of no bread, 3 bottles of water and some Kale every day.

Exercise and tai chi are self-explanatory - daily!

Bruce - get some of that him daily too!

Gratefulness - a daily record of what I'm grateful for, at LEAST.

Friendship - connect with my exercise mates, or phone a friend

Children and cleanup time is part of my school holiday plan to begin with.

Wow, that is a very structured, full kind of challenge.  Perhaps it is about time.  I do wonder where in there I'm going to fit other things, like the evil budget word, or following up to fix my Dad's hearing aids.  So so many things. 

First a little bit of Tai Chi and a little bit of gratitude followed by the necessary fixing clothes for work tomorrow.

I hope you've made it this far through this very inwards and reflective journal for today!

If so, how wonderful is this? This is Evan's man-hug, from his sign request for the same.  It might seem crazily out of context, but its here because Evan's story makes me smile, and reminds me of how amazing it feels to be so close to someone who has such incredible energy and zest and shares that on such a magnificent scale.

Today I'm grateful that Evan shared his moment with so many Brucebuds.  I'm especially grateful to get home at night with two happy children (as compared to the screaming to get out of the car variety). I'm also grateful that my cat did ok by himself for the day. 

What are you grateful for today?

EDIT: note to self for this week - turn out the light!

Best Friends

Uh oh! That moment has arrived.  Despite knowing it would happen, the fact it has taken 18 long months to flourish has set me into a little bit of complacency.

And now my daughter has a best friend, at her expensive, exclusive private school.  It is funny the choices you make as a parent, and the alarming consequences of those choices as they reverberate over the years!

And now my poorly maintained, messy, mid-renovation everywhere, less-than-perfectly kept house really must somehow be dragged from the sorry state it is in, and be made to appear at the very least, respectable.  Preferably in the next week or two, so that they can have a playdate in the holidays!

Pulling together and Being Prepared!

One of the most significant concepts for me since I began blogging is that of being prepared.  It was the subject of one of my very early posts as I reflected on my mother in law's incredible pre-preparation for just about anything.

Particularly now, as I am feeling more positive, happy, upbeat and capable than I have in years, I find myself reflecting on this concept of preparation.

Recently (during that quiet time when no blog posts appeared) my husband travelled away for work.  He was driving to a major regional town, about five hours away.   When he'd been gone 4 hours already, and I was mid-breakfast, mid-getting children to school, the whole trip hit a terrible snag in the form of my coming down with a very severe case of gastro. I couldn't move, and he was 4 hours away.  I am so grateful for his boss, who immediately drove him home again to look after the children, as I was so incapable.  I spent the next several days feeling quite off, but the worst passed that first day, and along with the sickness came some pretty significant realisations for me.

The first one was that there was no way that hubby could travel for work again, at least not until our youngest is a little more independent. We simply don't have a 'backup' network to call on, other than each other. This didn't take much contemplation, after the horrible hours waiting for him to arrive home, I'm not doing that again with such small children.

The other realisations however came hot on each others heels and do require a bit more contemplation and change.  After a very upset week, I realised that not only have I established a solid family routine since returning to working, but that this routine was hanging on by a thread. We simply aren't that used to it, haven't settled into it, or gotten comfortable enough with it that it tolerates much battering. The week I was at home sick threw the entire concept of 'calm', 'organised', and 'routine' out the proverbial window, it seemed at the time as though never to be seen again!  (luckily I'm more resilient than that and this week is going OK)

Hand in hand with how precariously our little family is balancing its 'routine' is the entire concept of being prepared! After all, if we are more 'prepared' then by extension our balancing act is more stable, and less likely to topple at the slightest adjustment required.

Which leads me to my focus for the moment. I am still determined to lose weight, keep exercising with the same intensity as in the last month or so, and still quite keen to keep my positive attitude, however I feel a little like the tough work of beginning those changes has been accomplished and I need to consider how being prepared will accentuate the positive attitude and exercise transformations. 

Firstly, simply being more prepared in the meals department will provide me with an even better daily diet to get the best nourishment without any excess sugary carbohydrates!

Being a step ahead of where I am now would mean having an idea of tomorrow's food, and it being in the fridge (its been a lean food prep week this week!); not running out of cat food; having photos uploaded every week; having activities ready for the children when they get home (OK that one is only if I turn into super-Mum!). It would also mean being on top of the mountains of paperwork for myself and my Dad. I feel like I'm drowning under papers at the moment, but will leave that conundrum for another day! I like the sound of being a step ahead, however for now, the tiniest fraction of being prepared that I see now is a bit less dramatic, but might give me a few hints about how to operate in a prepared way.  I've already noticed that the better my communication, the more we are able to negotiate through things as they crop up. Put another way, two grumpy snappy adults don't make great decisions!

Since the returning to all hands on deck working, we've established some routines that sort of work. Hubby does early mornings (when my arthritis still makes me a slow turtle) and drops big children at school before work; I take our little one to her various morning activities; we come home and she naps while I get housework done; the almost 2 hour pickup of big children happens at the end of nap-time; we have a very early tea when we get home; then homework after Daddy gets home and a bit of chaotic energy, then bedtime. This is what is working for us.  

Two times I am focusing on improving is the activities I get done while little miss takes her nap, and what I get done after hubby is home at night.

At the moment, I am happy that at nap time daily I seem to be managing to completely clean the floor off in the entry and kitchen as well as downstairs toys.  This is a bit of an extension of what I've achieved in the past, and this week I'm trying to work out how to extend past that point into uncharted cleaning territory.  I'm still not sure, but some experimenting is on the horizon to find the balance that will fit in my 2 hour time frame. 

In the evenings I am juggling between walking (its not practical at 9pm any longer due to the cold!); school homework; and cleaning!  I am using the early evening time to get into extra projects or washing up, whichever is needing doing more.  This is how I managed to get the floor scrubbed on Monday night, determination!

I need to refresh and revisit the concepts of this post about Working Smart. That's the essence of what is going on here, an attempt to make the obvious easier!

There is something else I'm realising as I go over all this while listening to Bruce Springsteen's Darkness on the Edge of Town album.  It's that I need to find a way to really ENJOY getting more prepared!  I remember when I was in Girl Guides, that my Guide Leader instilled in me, for the shortest moment, a flame of inspiration of REALLY wanting to 'Be Prepared" and obtain my Baden-Powell emblem, the highest achievement for a Girl Guide.  Years later, I feel I'm finally getting the point of all those badges and things. A sense of purpose about how I am going about this domestic life, to relish and delight in what is necessary.

I think I'd much rather relish and delight in more Bruce Springsteen concerts, but in order to do that I need my house to be respectable and presentable for house-sitters, so it's delighting in house cleaning for me in the interim.

Hang in there Bruce, I'm coming to a concert soon!