Thats right, just the links I've found useful tonight. I'm a human being blogging, my life has stuff going on that I process away from blogging. And tonight it involved getting myself informed about pulling myself out of an emotional black spot.
I only like step 1 of this one, very important. The other steps resonate better elsewhere. (wikihow)
This one really resonated with me. I immediately went and joined some groups on facebook that related to issues in my life - one of them was an elder care page that I liked, with plenty of links and useful information. This will be so important to ease the feeling of doing it alone. Thank you to the freedom experiment. This cluey write also suggests tackling the problem that will take 20% of energy to fix, but are causing 80% of the worry. I don't know which one that is right now, too many options!
"Don’t run away from your fear, Pema says. Lean into it." it isn't the simple answer but there is a truth in feeling the fear, and then moving along (with it if necessary).
These others are the ones that I just can't digest right now.
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/terri-cole/dealing-with-crisis_b_2777284.html
http://www.feelgooder.com/how-to-be-positive-when-everything-seems-like-it%E2%80%99s-falling-apart/
http://www.marieforleo.com/2013/05/feeling-lost/
http://goinswriter.com/falling-apart/
The common theme seems to be gratitude. I'm going to find my 3 things to be grateful for today.
1. I'm grateful for my house. It may be slowly becoming more run down, but it is mine.
2. I'm grateful for my friends and family who I've chatted to today
3. I'm grateful for my mother in law who knows all things cooking and is just a phone call away with the answers :)
Bless!
Showing posts with label indecision. Show all posts
Showing posts with label indecision. Show all posts
Tuesday, December 10, 2013
Friday, November 22, 2013
Confusing choices
In the past, for reasons of privacy and also my own confusion, I have written little, if anything about the enormous challenges of caring for my Dad. He fell over in 2012 and gave himself a significant concussion. He was 6 weeks in hospital, at the end of which I was given the ultimatum to get him into a nursing home as the hospital did not acknowledge his post-concussion syndrome, claiming his dementia caused all of his memory trouble and that at 84 (then) he was not safe in the community. He has been in one, 20 minutes from my home since then. It is an expensive home, with some very caring staff. There are also some very callous financial decisions made by the 'for profit' organisation, and by certain staff members. One of whom informed me over 2 months ago that in her opinion (she's a Nurse Practicioner, so her opinion should be professional) my Dad was at the end of his life and we should withdraw all medications. I disagreed with her, and rightfully so as Dad has once again beaten the odds to continue to do well for someone with his medical conditions.
The problem that I face tonight is about Dad, but moreso about myself. It is about our relationship, and his relationship with the community and my children.
While Dad was terribly ill, both my husband and I took 6 weeks off work. We did not want my Dad to become increasingly unwell and die alone. We wanted him to be as comfortable and as well cared for as possible. So one of us (usually me) spent most of our waking hours with him. We ensured that he could get to the toilet when he needed to, that he had the right medication when he needed it, that he was not being given too many fluids, that he was warm enough, that he had plenty to eat, that he was treated as a human being and respected, not treated like an imbecile. This was a full time job, particularly when he was unstable, he needed oxygen therapy, he needed an upright sleeping position, he needed the best nutrition in the smallest food quantities because he couldn't eat a lot at a time. None of those things come as part of the 'service' at a nursing home. They do not provide one staff member to sit and provide spoonfuls of food for an hour or more so that one person can get their entire meal eaten. They do not assess the food for excessive (and deadly) salt content. We provided that to him, and he lived. And this makes me happy. If my Dad didn't want to live, his body has given him plenty of opportunity to give up. But he doesn't and for that I'm grateful. I still enjoy his company. I find it somehow reassuring that he is still there, despite the burden his continuing life places on mine. It is the circle of life, this is how things are.
What I struggle with, is the prospect of returning to my own life. My husband went back to his work last week. These past two weeks have been more emotionally draining, and deadening to me than all that time while Dad was desperately ill and I thought he might die at any moment. I find it impossible to advocate for him effectively when I can only see him 3 times in a week. I find it demoralising to leave him for such long periods of time (more than 24 hours seems long) without seeing him, or speaking to him. He isn't good with the telephone so conversations on the phone are now a rarity. Today he told me that the place he was in is good "as long as you're not in it" He wants to come and live near us, or go home.
At this point, that is what I want too. I want to at least take his 'community leave' from the nursing home and find him somewhere to stay locally and then see how we go, what we need and whether we can make a go of it with him in the community. As I write this, it sounds easy, I am reminded to call back two real estates for more information to see if I could rent either of 2 local houses. And I've just thought of another 2 houses that may be available for rent. I think what frightens me most about this is that it will be going against what my elder sister wants, and I'm not known for ever winning any kind of disagreement with her.
I'm glad that I have friends who are learning from my experience with Dad, about what not to do, what to watch out for. But right now I could really do with the wisdom from someone else who can help me to both make his time happier, and to take away this dreadful flat feeling I have inside after leaving him in the nursing home to fend for himself for the past 2 weeks. I know that we (hubby and I) have been to see him at least 3 times a week if not more, but it is not the same as seeing him every day, or several times a day. There is no time to care for him, to be certain that he's getting enough food, or that anyone is speaking to him kindly, or that he's getting to go for a walk. When we aren't there, those things don't 'just happen'. I want to be there, to be a part of his life and care.
I do need to talk this big decision over with the family. I might be feeling bereft, however perhaps my children are enjoying the extra time with me that I'm sure they are having. I don't feel that that is the case, but it probably is. Another possibility is to bring him here overnight and see if we manage ok. I think we will have to investigate that for next weekend. It is something we've been meaning to do and he's always getting sick or we are too busy (usually collapsing after he's been sick). I've needed to write all this down because for me at the moment, Dad's situation is at the heart of my own situation. All of my energy is tied into how he is being cared for, I feel very responsible for his welfare.
The problem that I face tonight is about Dad, but moreso about myself. It is about our relationship, and his relationship with the community and my children.
While Dad was terribly ill, both my husband and I took 6 weeks off work. We did not want my Dad to become increasingly unwell and die alone. We wanted him to be as comfortable and as well cared for as possible. So one of us (usually me) spent most of our waking hours with him. We ensured that he could get to the toilet when he needed to, that he had the right medication when he needed it, that he was not being given too many fluids, that he was warm enough, that he had plenty to eat, that he was treated as a human being and respected, not treated like an imbecile. This was a full time job, particularly when he was unstable, he needed oxygen therapy, he needed an upright sleeping position, he needed the best nutrition in the smallest food quantities because he couldn't eat a lot at a time. None of those things come as part of the 'service' at a nursing home. They do not provide one staff member to sit and provide spoonfuls of food for an hour or more so that one person can get their entire meal eaten. They do not assess the food for excessive (and deadly) salt content. We provided that to him, and he lived. And this makes me happy. If my Dad didn't want to live, his body has given him plenty of opportunity to give up. But he doesn't and for that I'm grateful. I still enjoy his company. I find it somehow reassuring that he is still there, despite the burden his continuing life places on mine. It is the circle of life, this is how things are.
What I struggle with, is the prospect of returning to my own life. My husband went back to his work last week. These past two weeks have been more emotionally draining, and deadening to me than all that time while Dad was desperately ill and I thought he might die at any moment. I find it impossible to advocate for him effectively when I can only see him 3 times in a week. I find it demoralising to leave him for such long periods of time (more than 24 hours seems long) without seeing him, or speaking to him. He isn't good with the telephone so conversations on the phone are now a rarity. Today he told me that the place he was in is good "as long as you're not in it" He wants to come and live near us, or go home.
At this point, that is what I want too. I want to at least take his 'community leave' from the nursing home and find him somewhere to stay locally and then see how we go, what we need and whether we can make a go of it with him in the community. As I write this, it sounds easy, I am reminded to call back two real estates for more information to see if I could rent either of 2 local houses. And I've just thought of another 2 houses that may be available for rent. I think what frightens me most about this is that it will be going against what my elder sister wants, and I'm not known for ever winning any kind of disagreement with her.
I'm glad that I have friends who are learning from my experience with Dad, about what not to do, what to watch out for. But right now I could really do with the wisdom from someone else who can help me to both make his time happier, and to take away this dreadful flat feeling I have inside after leaving him in the nursing home to fend for himself for the past 2 weeks. I know that we (hubby and I) have been to see him at least 3 times a week if not more, but it is not the same as seeing him every day, or several times a day. There is no time to care for him, to be certain that he's getting enough food, or that anyone is speaking to him kindly, or that he's getting to go for a walk. When we aren't there, those things don't 'just happen'. I want to be there, to be a part of his life and care.
I do need to talk this big decision over with the family. I might be feeling bereft, however perhaps my children are enjoying the extra time with me that I'm sure they are having. I don't feel that that is the case, but it probably is. Another possibility is to bring him here overnight and see if we manage ok. I think we will have to investigate that for next weekend. It is something we've been meaning to do and he's always getting sick or we are too busy (usually collapsing after he's been sick). I've needed to write all this down because for me at the moment, Dad's situation is at the heart of my own situation. All of my energy is tied into how he is being cared for, I feel very responsible for his welfare.
Thursday, August 8, 2013
A plan of harmony, or a river in Egypt?
Despite the challenges I face in this, I want my home to be a place of harmony. Where all of the household members feel safe and valued.
To do this, I need to really get a move on with the following:
Physical Changes
1. lock for big girl's room
2. cleaning up middle boys' room including rug cleaned, and floor scrubbed.
3. providing an environment that is functioning (e.g. they can get clean cups) and calming to look at.
Emotional / People changes
1. spending time with each child alone, maybe making a day for each of them during the week when they have my undivided attention (just doesn't happen otherwise)
2. stimulating their minds with interesting stuff. I just don't do that enough
I started this post with great enthusiasm not long after my time-warp commentary. And then I also started two others - one about recent health . hormonal changes, and a second one about what Bruce Springsteen has in common with Prince Charles. Yes I hope to finish both of them. What is happening now however is that I am spending a lot of my day-times feeling like I'm underwater. Feeling a bit floaty and not-quite-real. It is quite possibly a side effect of the strong levels of denial that I'm feeling regarding decision making when it comes to Springsteen's Chile concert; and that I need to book airfares for my Aunt's birthday. It could be the effort it is taking to ignore that one of my 'friends' had her 40th birthday party quite clearly organised in advance, despite several discussions with me about not making any plans. Perhaps its worry about my father's health, which has taken a negative turn again.
Regardless the recent attack of not paying attention is not doing me any favours. It isn't helping me get moving, or motivated. Perhaps it's a coping mechanism of denial that I'm now 40. I'm really not sure. I only know I'm almost enjoying my bubble of ignoring so many details, almost.
Recognising the 'almost' I think I'll get busy inviting people in person to the lunch I want to have for my birthday celebrations. I don't want to do a facebook event, so I'll go old-school and use the phone :)
All this blogging just to work that out, I'm doing well! (yes that's sarcasm)
To do this, I need to really get a move on with the following:
Physical Changes
1. lock for big girl's room
2. cleaning up middle boys' room including rug cleaned, and floor scrubbed.
3. providing an environment that is functioning (e.g. they can get clean cups) and calming to look at.
Emotional / People changes
1. spending time with each child alone, maybe making a day for each of them during the week when they have my undivided attention (just doesn't happen otherwise)
2. stimulating their minds with interesting stuff. I just don't do that enough
I started this post with great enthusiasm not long after my time-warp commentary. And then I also started two others - one about recent health . hormonal changes, and a second one about what Bruce Springsteen has in common with Prince Charles. Yes I hope to finish both of them. What is happening now however is that I am spending a lot of my day-times feeling like I'm underwater. Feeling a bit floaty and not-quite-real. It is quite possibly a side effect of the strong levels of denial that I'm feeling regarding decision making when it comes to Springsteen's Chile concert; and that I need to book airfares for my Aunt's birthday. It could be the effort it is taking to ignore that one of my 'friends' had her 40th birthday party quite clearly organised in advance, despite several discussions with me about not making any plans. Perhaps its worry about my father's health, which has taken a negative turn again.
Regardless the recent attack of not paying attention is not doing me any favours. It isn't helping me get moving, or motivated. Perhaps it's a coping mechanism of denial that I'm now 40. I'm really not sure. I only know I'm almost enjoying my bubble of ignoring so many details, almost.
Recognising the 'almost' I think I'll get busy inviting people in person to the lunch I want to have for my birthday celebrations. I don't want to do a facebook event, so I'll go old-school and use the phone :)
All this blogging just to work that out, I'm doing well! (yes that's sarcasm)
Friday, July 26, 2013
How long does it take to lose oneself? It's just a jump to the left?
That's me right now. Stuck in a time warp. Apparently it takes one week post-party to have regressed to a state of household chaos that very much resembles pre-party house chaos. With the addition of post-party mind-bending, Springsteen tour ending, hormonal panics. And a husband with a very very sore gum.
And how do I feel overall? I feel rather remarkable. I've only had to remove 2 items from the kitchen windowsill in a week, that is pretty good going for my compulsive surface covering hubby. There are no extra do-dabs or non-belonging items on top of the bookcase. The pantry is a little chaotic, but I'm onto that. The laundry is getting a bit dodgy, but again, I'm keeping it in check. The kitchen table and kitchen bench are suffering post-party agonies (I can't see either)
On the flip side I have my blackboard, I have my daily quotes on it. The untidy 'hot spot' dumping ground near the stereo is tidy. The fridge is tidier than it used to be. The chaos at the moment is within me, but I'm also calmer with this month's hormonal cocktail.
Time is fleeting.
I am feeling a strong sense of that at the moment. That I must make choices that are best for the whole family.
At the moment that doesn't seem to include a trip to Santiago, much as I would LOVE to see Bruce and the E Street Band in concert again on this tour, I think I will miss out, in favour of the following range of alternate activities:
- walking the 5 km (or 10km) part of the local marathon.
- spending 5 days on the Gold Coast in a special 'children-friendly' resort
- campervanning in the September school holidays
- my daughter's only gymnastics competition this year
- spending some time alone / with other women crafting / crocheting as an 'escape' for me
- visiting my Aunt as she celebrates her 90th birthday
- anything else that seems healing and energising that doesn't cost a small fortune in airfares.
But for now, I'm a bit in the time warp. About to turn 40. Listening to live music as I type that is tonight soothing and quietening the conflicts within.
I met (for the second time) a lovely man today, who hopefully has given me the direction and strength I need to deal with family conflicts. He's certainly given me a large list of things to look after. Who'd have thought a solicitor would be so helpful. Hopefully his charmingly brusque and forthright manner will help see me through the chaos there.
I've put on weight from doing so much Tai Chi and less walking (and lets face it, eating too many jam drops and chocolate cake slices!). I'm sure there is a balance there, but hubby needs to get out and exercise himself. Maybe some of our walks can include the children. I would love that, although its hard to get them all in the one place cooperating!
Have I said anything tonight? Probably not, but
"With a bit of a mind flip, you're into a time slip", so what does it matter?
:)
PS I learnt tonight how to change to a nicer font, yay me for conquering HTML. Also it occurs to me that blink and you miss a whole 7 days. What did you do with this week? (tramps* don't answer, I know if you're in Europe what you've been up to!) Blink again and 6 months have gone by. Morale of the story? Blink infrequently, and make some memories every day. Today's memories are of my daughters delight at jumping, her kisses of Grandad and the glorious smell of dinner cooking when I arrived home. Tomorrow I will aim for more memories and less chaos.
*aka Bruce Springsteen fans.
PS I learnt tonight how to change to a nicer font, yay me for conquering HTML. Also it occurs to me that blink and you miss a whole 7 days. What did you do with this week? (tramps* don't answer, I know if you're in Europe what you've been up to!) Blink again and 6 months have gone by. Morale of the story? Blink infrequently, and make some memories every day. Today's memories are of my daughters delight at jumping, her kisses of Grandad and the glorious smell of dinner cooking when I arrived home. Tomorrow I will aim for more memories and less chaos.
*aka Bruce Springsteen fans.
Saturday, July 13, 2013
Indecision - a real threat to happiness
So here I sit, as I attempt to come to terms with the past few months lack of decisiveness on the issue of a European Bruce holiday, and wracked with agony over the correct date to hold my daughter's 2nd birthday party, and where.
And then I realise. I've been hit with the indecisiveness bug. That one that bites you on the derriere as soon as you let it creep back into your life. And so began my Internet search for answers to party problem (the Bruce Springsteen problem now rests entirely on the outcome of a competition for tickets to Cardiff on 23rd July).
And I was first struck by this quote “Indecision is often worse than wrong action.” – Henry Ford
That's the crux of it isn't it? There is no point wavering from here till eternity wondering, or being in fear of being wrong. It was a matter of just doing it. Which solved my problem with the birthday party at least. I made decisions. Plenty of them. First I would let / encourage the active participation of my elder children who want to be the ones throwing their sister a party. Going along with that theme, to keep their enthusiasm, I chose the nearer party date, and for our home to be the location, despite my fears, because it would be easier for them. Decision made, I figure in terms of parties it couldn't possibly go as wrong as my elder daughter's 3rd birthday party that had to be cancelled on the day (as some guests arrived) because her baby brother was born that morning at home!
As the day wore on, the links between this birthday party, my decreased happiness and my total lack of commitment to my 'dream' of seeing Bruce and the ESB in Europe became more obvious. I see now that my uncertainty and tentativeness meant that I was never going to be going to Europe, I simply did not show the commitment and determination necessary.
I had walked straight into the problem identified by this website
However, the problem with being indecisive about the bigger things is that often, the window of opportunity to make a decision is limited and so if someone can’t make a decision for themselves, other people or changing circumstances make the decision for them.
That was me. Circumstances of less than a fortnight left of the European tour (and possibly the whole Wrecking Ball Tour) make it logistically almost impossible now to get the family to Europe.
So I reason with myself a little. I console myself that I've lost 13kgs, and that is a good thing. I argue that my house cleaning is still not completed, but that signs are promising as I'm making terrific progress. Most of all I apply the most basic reason - that it is really scary the idea of taking the family to Europe and that I've spent the money on children's school fees and sports tuition.
But I'm not at all impressed with my weeks of agony over the birthday party; and I'm certainly not looking forward to the next two weeks of hearing of the last tour gigs. I don't like to think that had I been decisive, the stresses of the past weeks might've been the stresses of getting three children through an international airport to connecting flights, or of finding our accommodation in a strange country. But no.
So my Internet search led me to this page, where the following quote gives me pause for thought:
“A test of mental strength is the ability to take firm decisions. Indecision is always a sign of mental weakness. It shows there are unresolved conflicts within you. And conflicts undermine the integrity of the personality. If we remain in a state of indecision for a long time, instead of gaining strength we become weaker. To remain in a state of indecision and then to try to make your mind strong is stupid. We must be very decisive about small things. Then we find it easier to take decisions about bigger things. Even the smallest thing in life is to be done consciously, intelligently, decisively, coordinating all of the faculties – feeling, thinking, and willing. Cultivate good habits early in life. A well regulated life is of great help. If we follow a strict routine every day, many of the little problems in life will not create indecision and worries. Then we get more energy and time for bigger things. We must not lie in bed and go on thinking for half an hour, ‘Shall I get up or not?’ Either get up immediately or sleep for another half an hour, but do not remain in an indecisive state. Indecision is very harmful. Let not the little things of life nag you constantly and dissipate your energies.” Swami Avdheshanand.
So many factors there. I recently searched on the emotional causes of rheumatoid arthritis, and funnily enough, it said unresolved conflicts!
Putting that little gem aside for a moment, the website suggests the following steps to improving that mental strength:
1. Spend a few days noticing when you are caught in the clutches of indecision – what types of things are bothering you? Are they small things or big things? How much time do you devote to make simple decisions?
2. Pick one thing to focus on, something that you constantly struggle with (it could be what time to get up in the morning, what to eat that day, what outfit to wear). Make sure it’s a small thing to start with so you don’t make it too difficult for yourself.
3. Next time you find yourself struggling to choose on your chosen subject, remind yourself mentally “I am a decisive person and I will not waste my time and energy with this.”
4. Now – simply pick one option. Make a decision quickly and commit to it. It doesn’t matter if it’s the right decision or not – just do it.
5. Let it go. Refrain from labouring about whether you made the right choice or not and move on. Do something immediately that really does matter to you – and if possible something that will make a positive difference to your life or to the lives of others.
- See more at: http://simplelifestrategies.com/5-steps-to-overcome-indecision/#sthash.5FZbFF6V.dpuf
Or, to follow the suggestion a friend made a few weeks ago about the housework. Decide to do SOME (e.g. start with just one thing like emptying the dishwasher) or decide not to. Don't agonise over everything, because that is a total waste of time. At least if I decide not to do housework, I'll be free to ENJOY whatever else I do instead, making it at least a fun use of my time :)
I've been totally missing this obvious common sense over Bruce Springsteen's Tour, and again about the birthday party ideas. Now I just need to make the most of where I am now. I know I feel better for having made the decisions about the party, and with a light heart, rather than a doubting one. So far all the rest of the decisions about my little girl's party have come easier and easier because I'm committed to it.
I'll spend some time thinking about those 5 steps and about conflict!
And then I realise. I've been hit with the indecisiveness bug. That one that bites you on the derriere as soon as you let it creep back into your life. And so began my Internet search for answers to party problem (the Bruce Springsteen problem now rests entirely on the outcome of a competition for tickets to Cardiff on 23rd July).
And I was first struck by this quote “Indecision is often worse than wrong action.” – Henry Ford
That's the crux of it isn't it? There is no point wavering from here till eternity wondering, or being in fear of being wrong. It was a matter of just doing it. Which solved my problem with the birthday party at least. I made decisions. Plenty of them. First I would let / encourage the active participation of my elder children who want to be the ones throwing their sister a party. Going along with that theme, to keep their enthusiasm, I chose the nearer party date, and for our home to be the location, despite my fears, because it would be easier for them. Decision made, I figure in terms of parties it couldn't possibly go as wrong as my elder daughter's 3rd birthday party that had to be cancelled on the day (as some guests arrived) because her baby brother was born that morning at home!
As the day wore on, the links between this birthday party, my decreased happiness and my total lack of commitment to my 'dream' of seeing Bruce and the ESB in Europe became more obvious. I see now that my uncertainty and tentativeness meant that I was never going to be going to Europe, I simply did not show the commitment and determination necessary.
I had walked straight into the problem identified by this website
However, the problem with being indecisive about the bigger things is that often, the window of opportunity to make a decision is limited and so if someone can’t make a decision for themselves, other people or changing circumstances make the decision for them.
That was me. Circumstances of less than a fortnight left of the European tour (and possibly the whole Wrecking Ball Tour) make it logistically almost impossible now to get the family to Europe.
So I reason with myself a little. I console myself that I've lost 13kgs, and that is a good thing. I argue that my house cleaning is still not completed, but that signs are promising as I'm making terrific progress. Most of all I apply the most basic reason - that it is really scary the idea of taking the family to Europe and that I've spent the money on children's school fees and sports tuition.
But I'm not at all impressed with my weeks of agony over the birthday party; and I'm certainly not looking forward to the next two weeks of hearing of the last tour gigs. I don't like to think that had I been decisive, the stresses of the past weeks might've been the stresses of getting three children through an international airport to connecting flights, or of finding our accommodation in a strange country. But no.
So my Internet search led me to this page, where the following quote gives me pause for thought:
“A test of mental strength is the ability to take firm decisions. Indecision is always a sign of mental weakness. It shows there are unresolved conflicts within you. And conflicts undermine the integrity of the personality. If we remain in a state of indecision for a long time, instead of gaining strength we become weaker. To remain in a state of indecision and then to try to make your mind strong is stupid. We must be very decisive about small things. Then we find it easier to take decisions about bigger things. Even the smallest thing in life is to be done consciously, intelligently, decisively, coordinating all of the faculties – feeling, thinking, and willing. Cultivate good habits early in life. A well regulated life is of great help. If we follow a strict routine every day, many of the little problems in life will not create indecision and worries. Then we get more energy and time for bigger things. We must not lie in bed and go on thinking for half an hour, ‘Shall I get up or not?’ Either get up immediately or sleep for another half an hour, but do not remain in an indecisive state. Indecision is very harmful. Let not the little things of life nag you constantly and dissipate your energies.” Swami Avdheshanand.
So many factors there. I recently searched on the emotional causes of rheumatoid arthritis, and funnily enough, it said unresolved conflicts!
Putting that little gem aside for a moment, the website suggests the following steps to improving that mental strength:
1. Spend a few days noticing when you are caught in the clutches of indecision – what types of things are bothering you? Are they small things or big things? How much time do you devote to make simple decisions?
2. Pick one thing to focus on, something that you constantly struggle with (it could be what time to get up in the morning, what to eat that day, what outfit to wear). Make sure it’s a small thing to start with so you don’t make it too difficult for yourself.
3. Next time you find yourself struggling to choose on your chosen subject, remind yourself mentally “I am a decisive person and I will not waste my time and energy with this.”
4. Now – simply pick one option. Make a decision quickly and commit to it. It doesn’t matter if it’s the right decision or not – just do it.
5. Let it go. Refrain from labouring about whether you made the right choice or not and move on. Do something immediately that really does matter to you – and if possible something that will make a positive difference to your life or to the lives of others.
- See more at: http://simplelifestrategies.com/5-steps-to-overcome-indecision/#sthash.5FZbFF6V.dpuf
Or, to follow the suggestion a friend made a few weeks ago about the housework. Decide to do SOME (e.g. start with just one thing like emptying the dishwasher) or decide not to. Don't agonise over everything, because that is a total waste of time. At least if I decide not to do housework, I'll be free to ENJOY whatever else I do instead, making it at least a fun use of my time :)
I've been totally missing this obvious common sense over Bruce Springsteen's Tour, and again about the birthday party ideas. Now I just need to make the most of where I am now. I know I feel better for having made the decisions about the party, and with a light heart, rather than a doubting one. So far all the rest of the decisions about my little girl's party have come easier and easier because I'm committed to it.
I'll spend some time thinking about those 5 steps and about conflict!
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