I wish to explain to you my position on my father's treatment while in hospital (and out of hospital for that matter).
Last night, Dad held out his arm, covered in little white dots from blood tests, and made some noises that sounded like he was trying to get a sentence out. I asked him to repeat himself. I couldn't believe what I heard! "Did you just say to me "I've got bad veins"?" I asked him. He grinned at me with a twinkle in his eye! Dad was making a joke about his situation, less than 24 hours after waking up from an unconscious state that had lasted 8 days.
My father has dementia. I don't care what 'category' of severity that you wish to classify it as, because your classifications mean nothing to my father, or to us, his family. What means something to us is that he contributes to our life in a positive way, despite the obvious challenges he presents in extra responsibilities.
Even now, Dad is contributing to the world. In the last week he is teaching me - to never ever give up; to defy those in authority or who think they know better than you what you know to be your own truth. He has taught me during the past two years that there is ALWAYS something to appreciate. He has inspired his nephew in Melbourne through his tenacity and determination.
My children when faced with his potential death, remember him still as the Grandad who loves them unconditionally, without judgement, and who continued to play with them, even as recently as playing ball early this year.
It is important to remember that he has had many opportunities to leave us through sickness and he chooses not to do so, coming back from the brink through sheer willpower alone.
I have had time to reflect on your suggestion that my father ought to not be treated for any new infections. I contest that you are mistaken in this assertion. Australia is a first world country. One of the markers of the wealth of this nation is that we are able to provide health care for our sick, ailing and elderly. All of them. There should be no judgmental decisions made based on Dad's disease or what your own morality insists about who is worthy. The morality that is relevant here is that of Dad, and of us, his family. You may be a doctor, but you are not my family's moral compass, nor is that your role. The truth is, that in a poorer country, with limited health resources, a decision about who is most deserving would be relevant, however we are not in that situation. If there is a fiscal problem with supply of medicine on the Sunshine Coast in 2014 then it is politicians we need to pressure, not the family of an elderly man who is determined to live.
Perhaps Dad can provide an important lesson to your young student doctors about the dangers of making assumptions about someone else's quality of life. As an elderly friend pointed out to me last night, there are fit young people in the world with better physical and mental abilities than Dad whose quality of life would be considered poorly, yet those people are not judged when being considered for treatment. Why should you make this judgement when we are supposed to be a wealthy country?
So it is with delight at the tenacity of a single human being with great lessons still to impart to his family, that I request that you don't just pay lip service to the concept of treatment for my Dad, but you give him the full benefit of medical assistance, including fully discussing with us his necessary nutritional requirements, not just glucose which is making a pretense at assistance, but fully and openly discuss the path to improving Dad's health. Let's leave the 'will he or won't he survive?' discussion aside, and give him the opportunity to make that decision for himself, with the best possible care from your team to support him.
