Thats right, just the links I've found useful tonight. I'm a human being blogging, my life has stuff going on that I process away from blogging. And tonight it involved getting myself informed about pulling myself out of an emotional black spot.
I only like step 1 of this one, very important. The other steps resonate better elsewhere. (wikihow)
This one really resonated with me. I immediately went and joined some groups on facebook that related to issues in my life - one of them was an elder care page that I liked, with plenty of links and useful information. This will be so important to ease the feeling of doing it alone. Thank you to the freedom experiment. This cluey write also suggests tackling the problem that will take 20% of energy to fix, but are causing 80% of the worry. I don't know which one that is right now, too many options!
"Don’t run away from your fear, Pema says. Lean into it." it isn't the simple answer but there is a truth in feeling the fear, and then moving along (with it if necessary).
These others are the ones that I just can't digest right now.
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/terri-cole/dealing-with-crisis_b_2777284.html
http://www.feelgooder.com/how-to-be-positive-when-everything-seems-like-it%E2%80%99s-falling-apart/
http://www.marieforleo.com/2013/05/feeling-lost/
http://goinswriter.com/falling-apart/
The common theme seems to be gratitude. I'm going to find my 3 things to be grateful for today.
1. I'm grateful for my house. It may be slowly becoming more run down, but it is mine.
2. I'm grateful for my friends and family who I've chatted to today
3. I'm grateful for my mother in law who knows all things cooking and is just a phone call away with the answers :)
Bless!
Tuesday, December 10, 2013
Saturday, November 30, 2013
7000 days - the end of one life.
Yesterday I said my final goodbye to my faithful feline companion of 20 years. Remembering some of the early years with a friend, I calculated that we'd had about 7000 days together. Too short, too soon they were over. I turned 40 this year, and there are about another 7000 days before I enter what I think of as 'beginning to be old' although from what I've seen, if you are fit enough, and fortunate, age that really 'ages' you does not come until after 80. So I have 7000 days of 'mature adulthood' ahead of me. Possibly that is an oxymoron - I don't know that adulthood is really connected to maturity and not certain that age is either. But I'm willing to call it that in my head :)
I had about 7200 days with my little furry purry pusscat. In that time he's seen me move house 3 times, lose 3 uncles and my Mum. He's endured the 'single period' as well as glared at 4 boyfriends. He took the appearance of the first two children with grace and the third with resignation. He's played in the Christmas tinsel, bitten our neighbour, teased the dog next door, explored the creek, raced... straight up a tree so high that the vertical descent arse first shredded his claws and he has purred and loved me for those days without question. Not bad for a cat who was chosen by my boyfriend all those years ago because he was the cat who wanted to get out the most! I think that despite the potentially excessive nights out drinking and then nights in playing online games, overall I've made good use of my last 7000 days. I plan to make even better use of the next 7000. I am grateful for the companionship, feline and human that I've had during my adulthood. The feline company will be sorely missed.
What would make better use of the next 7000 days? More gratitude, contentment and to have seen and done things, especially with my children that they will remember. To have been a kinder, calmer human being so that my children can pass that on to their children.
Yesterday I couldn't have been prouder of my 3 children as they all said goodbye to my cat, patting him and then helping with his burial ceremony. They picked flowers and arranged 2 matching vases, collected decorative stones, and finally created their own headstone from a brick with their own words:
"Dear Tinky, we wish you were alive right now. We love you very much."
They helped in every way with his burial, said final words to him and held me as I wept. I am blessed.
Yesterday I couldn't have been prouder of my 3 children as they all said goodbye to my cat, patting him and then helping with his burial ceremony. They picked flowers and arranged 2 matching vases, collected decorative stones, and finally created their own headstone from a brick with their own words:
"Dear Tinky, we wish you were alive right now. We love you very much."
They helped in every way with his burial, said final words to him and held me as I wept. I am blessed.
Wednesday, November 27, 2013
A great way to enlist help with organising - 'helpx'
We had an exciting 'first' this week. Our first HelpX (help exchange) visitor! Martin from Denmark, came to us on Monday and left for a trip to Australia Zoo this morning.
It was altogether a very enjoyable experience, we were blessed with a relaxed, independent and polite visitor who fitted in around the family and helped out easily.
We really enjoyed providing him with some Australian 'firsts' too.
This is Martin's first Vegemite experience, although we buy Aussie products so it's actually a Mighty Mite on toast brekkie :)
And below is his first Pavlova. For those (including Martin) who want a brief history of the dessert, here's the wiki.
It was altogether a very enjoyable experience, we were blessed with a relaxed, independent and polite visitor who fitted in around the family and helped out easily.
We really enjoyed providing him with some Australian 'firsts' too.
And below is his first Pavlova. For those (including Martin) who want a brief history of the dessert, here's the wiki.
The premise behind HelpX is to exchange food and a place to sleep for around 4 hours work per day's stay. We found ourselves not getting into 4 hours work simply because 2 little children were completely entranced and demanded attention from our visitor (counts as work to me). This turned out ok, as I had a little more time to do things of my own and some help with supervision. We also enjoyed the educational experience of learning about another country, the similarlities and differences.
Tonight was sadly the meltdown of tired children and tired adults, we all felt a bit grumpier, but overall the tired flaking out hasn't diminished the positive experience that helpx brought to us.
We certainly look forward to more helpx experiences and have some more ideas now on how to go about helpx despite our busy life.
Thanks Martin for an enjoyable visit!
Friday, November 22, 2013
Confusing choices
In the past, for reasons of privacy and also my own confusion, I have written little, if anything about the enormous challenges of caring for my Dad. He fell over in 2012 and gave himself a significant concussion. He was 6 weeks in hospital, at the end of which I was given the ultimatum to get him into a nursing home as the hospital did not acknowledge his post-concussion syndrome, claiming his dementia caused all of his memory trouble and that at 84 (then) he was not safe in the community. He has been in one, 20 minutes from my home since then. It is an expensive home, with some very caring staff. There are also some very callous financial decisions made by the 'for profit' organisation, and by certain staff members. One of whom informed me over 2 months ago that in her opinion (she's a Nurse Practicioner, so her opinion should be professional) my Dad was at the end of his life and we should withdraw all medications. I disagreed with her, and rightfully so as Dad has once again beaten the odds to continue to do well for someone with his medical conditions.
The problem that I face tonight is about Dad, but moreso about myself. It is about our relationship, and his relationship with the community and my children.
While Dad was terribly ill, both my husband and I took 6 weeks off work. We did not want my Dad to become increasingly unwell and die alone. We wanted him to be as comfortable and as well cared for as possible. So one of us (usually me) spent most of our waking hours with him. We ensured that he could get to the toilet when he needed to, that he had the right medication when he needed it, that he was not being given too many fluids, that he was warm enough, that he had plenty to eat, that he was treated as a human being and respected, not treated like an imbecile. This was a full time job, particularly when he was unstable, he needed oxygen therapy, he needed an upright sleeping position, he needed the best nutrition in the smallest food quantities because he couldn't eat a lot at a time. None of those things come as part of the 'service' at a nursing home. They do not provide one staff member to sit and provide spoonfuls of food for an hour or more so that one person can get their entire meal eaten. They do not assess the food for excessive (and deadly) salt content. We provided that to him, and he lived. And this makes me happy. If my Dad didn't want to live, his body has given him plenty of opportunity to give up. But he doesn't and for that I'm grateful. I still enjoy his company. I find it somehow reassuring that he is still there, despite the burden his continuing life places on mine. It is the circle of life, this is how things are.
What I struggle with, is the prospect of returning to my own life. My husband went back to his work last week. These past two weeks have been more emotionally draining, and deadening to me than all that time while Dad was desperately ill and I thought he might die at any moment. I find it impossible to advocate for him effectively when I can only see him 3 times in a week. I find it demoralising to leave him for such long periods of time (more than 24 hours seems long) without seeing him, or speaking to him. He isn't good with the telephone so conversations on the phone are now a rarity. Today he told me that the place he was in is good "as long as you're not in it" He wants to come and live near us, or go home.
At this point, that is what I want too. I want to at least take his 'community leave' from the nursing home and find him somewhere to stay locally and then see how we go, what we need and whether we can make a go of it with him in the community. As I write this, it sounds easy, I am reminded to call back two real estates for more information to see if I could rent either of 2 local houses. And I've just thought of another 2 houses that may be available for rent. I think what frightens me most about this is that it will be going against what my elder sister wants, and I'm not known for ever winning any kind of disagreement with her.
I'm glad that I have friends who are learning from my experience with Dad, about what not to do, what to watch out for. But right now I could really do with the wisdom from someone else who can help me to both make his time happier, and to take away this dreadful flat feeling I have inside after leaving him in the nursing home to fend for himself for the past 2 weeks. I know that we (hubby and I) have been to see him at least 3 times a week if not more, but it is not the same as seeing him every day, or several times a day. There is no time to care for him, to be certain that he's getting enough food, or that anyone is speaking to him kindly, or that he's getting to go for a walk. When we aren't there, those things don't 'just happen'. I want to be there, to be a part of his life and care.
I do need to talk this big decision over with the family. I might be feeling bereft, however perhaps my children are enjoying the extra time with me that I'm sure they are having. I don't feel that that is the case, but it probably is. Another possibility is to bring him here overnight and see if we manage ok. I think we will have to investigate that for next weekend. It is something we've been meaning to do and he's always getting sick or we are too busy (usually collapsing after he's been sick). I've needed to write all this down because for me at the moment, Dad's situation is at the heart of my own situation. All of my energy is tied into how he is being cared for, I feel very responsible for his welfare.
The problem that I face tonight is about Dad, but moreso about myself. It is about our relationship, and his relationship with the community and my children.
While Dad was terribly ill, both my husband and I took 6 weeks off work. We did not want my Dad to become increasingly unwell and die alone. We wanted him to be as comfortable and as well cared for as possible. So one of us (usually me) spent most of our waking hours with him. We ensured that he could get to the toilet when he needed to, that he had the right medication when he needed it, that he was not being given too many fluids, that he was warm enough, that he had plenty to eat, that he was treated as a human being and respected, not treated like an imbecile. This was a full time job, particularly when he was unstable, he needed oxygen therapy, he needed an upright sleeping position, he needed the best nutrition in the smallest food quantities because he couldn't eat a lot at a time. None of those things come as part of the 'service' at a nursing home. They do not provide one staff member to sit and provide spoonfuls of food for an hour or more so that one person can get their entire meal eaten. They do not assess the food for excessive (and deadly) salt content. We provided that to him, and he lived. And this makes me happy. If my Dad didn't want to live, his body has given him plenty of opportunity to give up. But he doesn't and for that I'm grateful. I still enjoy his company. I find it somehow reassuring that he is still there, despite the burden his continuing life places on mine. It is the circle of life, this is how things are.
What I struggle with, is the prospect of returning to my own life. My husband went back to his work last week. These past two weeks have been more emotionally draining, and deadening to me than all that time while Dad was desperately ill and I thought he might die at any moment. I find it impossible to advocate for him effectively when I can only see him 3 times in a week. I find it demoralising to leave him for such long periods of time (more than 24 hours seems long) without seeing him, or speaking to him. He isn't good with the telephone so conversations on the phone are now a rarity. Today he told me that the place he was in is good "as long as you're not in it" He wants to come and live near us, or go home.
At this point, that is what I want too. I want to at least take his 'community leave' from the nursing home and find him somewhere to stay locally and then see how we go, what we need and whether we can make a go of it with him in the community. As I write this, it sounds easy, I am reminded to call back two real estates for more information to see if I could rent either of 2 local houses. And I've just thought of another 2 houses that may be available for rent. I think what frightens me most about this is that it will be going against what my elder sister wants, and I'm not known for ever winning any kind of disagreement with her.
I'm glad that I have friends who are learning from my experience with Dad, about what not to do, what to watch out for. But right now I could really do with the wisdom from someone else who can help me to both make his time happier, and to take away this dreadful flat feeling I have inside after leaving him in the nursing home to fend for himself for the past 2 weeks. I know that we (hubby and I) have been to see him at least 3 times a week if not more, but it is not the same as seeing him every day, or several times a day. There is no time to care for him, to be certain that he's getting enough food, or that anyone is speaking to him kindly, or that he's getting to go for a walk. When we aren't there, those things don't 'just happen'. I want to be there, to be a part of his life and care.
I do need to talk this big decision over with the family. I might be feeling bereft, however perhaps my children are enjoying the extra time with me that I'm sure they are having. I don't feel that that is the case, but it probably is. Another possibility is to bring him here overnight and see if we manage ok. I think we will have to investigate that for next weekend. It is something we've been meaning to do and he's always getting sick or we are too busy (usually collapsing after he's been sick). I've needed to write all this down because for me at the moment, Dad's situation is at the heart of my own situation. All of my energy is tied into how he is being cared for, I feel very responsible for his welfare.
Wednesday, November 20, 2013
Passing along the organising energy tricks
Today's update is a little reflection on one of my earliest lessons while writing this blog. That of 'ask an expert'. This concept of asking an expert was a critical component of my 'Inspirational motivation' blog entry. Over the months, I've come to realise that the expertise of the experts you ask varies depending on the circumstances. We can't always access the best person in the field of our interest, but we can find out from others what is working for them!
So without further ado, my two 'expert' pieces of advice that I've gained this year are
1. Do both regular cleaning and decluttering simultaneously / take regular turns. This simple concept has taken me quite some time to adjust to. There have been challenges in accepting this simple advice. I'm learning to accept that our house may always resemble a cyclonic fallout zone at first glance. How deep the debis lies is the critical thing! When all the clutter seems to look like piles of junk from floor to ceiling there is a problem. When one can distinguish obvious recognisable furniture and fixtures and the floor is not inches deep in toys, then that is maybe as good as it will get. I'm also learning that the more decluttering I take on, the more I need to be wary of falling behind the normal cleaning - I still need to empty the fridge, do the dishes and handscrub some laundry items. On the other hand, I also need to be forgiving of myself if I do accidentally forget the damp towel in a bucket in the laundry and have to throw it out. I'm only one person and I'm taking on extra with the decluttering. Some of the things I used to have in a routine might suffer as I am adjusting.
and
2. Write one big long, huge list of things to do (in the phone). Now this concept I find particularly confronting. What if the list just keeps growing and growing and growing I said? "so?" replied my 'expert' friend. Let it grow. It was going to grow inside your head anyway, at least on the list it is written somewhere safe. She had a good point. And so I have reluctantly begun using 'REMINDERS' on the iphone, not as 'reminders' but as the depsitory for the greatest longest list of all-time things to do. The logic behind this apparently functional (yes I'm still skeptical) idea is that when you do feel inclined, or have a sudden moment alone, or an insane urge to do something truly useful, there is your list of EVERYTHING, waiting for you to peruse it and choose the exciting job of the moment. I have to say that I have hardly been an enthusiastic recruit to this system, however it does seem to be quite effective. It is said that writin things down makes a difference (you are also supposed to write down goals), and it seems to be proving true in this case. The jobs that are written down seem to be at the forefront of my mind without having to really 'use' the app to 'find busy work'. This is a bit of an experiment in progress, so I'm sure that like the balancing act of regular jobs and extra decluttering, it will in time grow on me.
Do you have any expert tips to share on the theme of organisation?
So without further ado, my two 'expert' pieces of advice that I've gained this year are
1. Do both regular cleaning and decluttering simultaneously / take regular turns. This simple concept has taken me quite some time to adjust to. There have been challenges in accepting this simple advice. I'm learning to accept that our house may always resemble a cyclonic fallout zone at first glance. How deep the debis lies is the critical thing! When all the clutter seems to look like piles of junk from floor to ceiling there is a problem. When one can distinguish obvious recognisable furniture and fixtures and the floor is not inches deep in toys, then that is maybe as good as it will get. I'm also learning that the more decluttering I take on, the more I need to be wary of falling behind the normal cleaning - I still need to empty the fridge, do the dishes and handscrub some laundry items. On the other hand, I also need to be forgiving of myself if I do accidentally forget the damp towel in a bucket in the laundry and have to throw it out. I'm only one person and I'm taking on extra with the decluttering. Some of the things I used to have in a routine might suffer as I am adjusting.
and
2. Write one big long, huge list of things to do (in the phone). Now this concept I find particularly confronting. What if the list just keeps growing and growing and growing I said? "so?" replied my 'expert' friend. Let it grow. It was going to grow inside your head anyway, at least on the list it is written somewhere safe. She had a good point. And so I have reluctantly begun using 'REMINDERS' on the iphone, not as 'reminders' but as the depsitory for the greatest longest list of all-time things to do. The logic behind this apparently functional (yes I'm still skeptical) idea is that when you do feel inclined, or have a sudden moment alone, or an insane urge to do something truly useful, there is your list of EVERYTHING, waiting for you to peruse it and choose the exciting job of the moment. I have to say that I have hardly been an enthusiastic recruit to this system, however it does seem to be quite effective. It is said that writin things down makes a difference (you are also supposed to write down goals), and it seems to be proving true in this case. The jobs that are written down seem to be at the forefront of my mind without having to really 'use' the app to 'find busy work'. This is a bit of an experiment in progress, so I'm sure that like the balancing act of regular jobs and extra decluttering, it will in time grow on me.
Do you have any expert tips to share on the theme of organisation?
Tuesday, November 19, 2013
So far so good
It has been a long, successful time between blogging. This time of year tends to descend into chaotic disaster and misery, so for me to sit here, on my child's birthday, breathing a sigh of relief at having gotten through one party and two actual birthdays without too many tears and frustration (on my part) is a significant achievement.
I credit this amazing change to the blogging experience, bolstered by the Springsteen & ESB experience and in part the culmination of the efforts I've been making for a few years now to reorganise my life to reduce the stress, chaos and improve calm and happiness.
I've come out of this with a few realisations and tips:
I've thoroughly enjoyed my part in the children's birthday's this year and am grateful for the learning experiences that have helped me to put it all into perspective. Making this cake was the relaxing, enjoyable event that it used to be years ago. I'm grateful for learning the tips above so that all I had to concentrate on for the party was the simplicity of this fun cake.
I credit this amazing change to the blogging experience, bolstered by the Springsteen & ESB experience and in part the culmination of the efforts I've been making for a few years now to reorganise my life to reduce the stress, chaos and improve calm and happiness.
I've come out of this with a few realisations and tips:
- When your life is hectic take a look at local venues that do children's parties. With a bit of negotiating it is surprisingly possible to have a no-fuss party that caters to your own needs and for which you do zero preparation (well I made a cake), yet spend no more than you would for a party at home!
- Don't take people's comments on board. If they offer to help, believe it after you are wishing them a thankful goodbye, anything before that is not guaranteed to happen and can lead to disappointment. Along this same vein, if someone is critical, take it as a reflection of them, not you. The negative energy isn't yours.
- Slow down. The busier life is, the more you need to slow down and take things one at a time. This has really worked for me in the last few weeks, and I hope it continues to keep me functioning until this busy time of year is finished. I don't think about what isn't in my immediate future, I don't worry about anything but what I'm doing next. The rest will eventually take care of itself or become the 'next thing' in its turn.
I've thoroughly enjoyed my part in the children's birthday's this year and am grateful for the learning experiences that have helped me to put it all into perspective. Making this cake was the relaxing, enjoyable event that it used to be years ago. I'm grateful for learning the tips above so that all I had to concentrate on for the party was the simplicity of this fun cake.
Friday, November 8, 2013
A-Z of organising.
I'm going to totally show my blogging ignorance here and just paste this for my own reference later.
Someone else's tips A-Z style for organising their lives.
Someone else's tips A-Z style for organising their lives.
Wednesday, November 6, 2013
Busy Days
Its the time of year when I like to try to enjoy myself, but am often overwhelmed by the volume of things that need to happen between now and the closing of the year!
In our household there are 3 birthdays, 2 school end of year's events, and finally Christmas. I like to 'get my Christmas on' early, and it so rarely happens. Most of the time it is less than a week before the big day that we finally decorate.
This year I'm busily getting life in some semblance of order now, before the silly season begins.
In the past week I've organised my 2 children's birthday celebrations - both sets of invitations have now been sent, bookings made and presents are in the works.
I've also spent time checking both schools and sporting activities for upcoming events and have transferred them into my phone's calendar as well as on to an A4 sheet for the months as I need the visual reminder!
I got stuck into the lawnmowing this afternoon, as a prelude to putting up lights - these will be first on the agenda this weekend, alongside last minute birthday shopping.
All the things to do are making me dizzy. The idea is that this year, my attitude of simplifying and organising will combine to mean that the lights really do go up this weekend!
In our household there are 3 birthdays, 2 school end of year's events, and finally Christmas. I like to 'get my Christmas on' early, and it so rarely happens. Most of the time it is less than a week before the big day that we finally decorate.
This year I'm busily getting life in some semblance of order now, before the silly season begins.
In the past week I've organised my 2 children's birthday celebrations - both sets of invitations have now been sent, bookings made and presents are in the works.
I've also spent time checking both schools and sporting activities for upcoming events and have transferred them into my phone's calendar as well as on to an A4 sheet for the months as I need the visual reminder!
I got stuck into the lawnmowing this afternoon, as a prelude to putting up lights - these will be first on the agenda this weekend, alongside last minute birthday shopping.
All the things to do are making me dizzy. The idea is that this year, my attitude of simplifying and organising will combine to mean that the lights really do go up this weekend!
Wednesday, October 30, 2013
The gloomy return of the mid-life panic!
I finally dug myself out of the 'poor me' attitude this evening long enough to go for a 20 minute walk before blogging. On my walk I realised that the mid-life-impending-doom-fear-of-death-and-mortality crisis had snuck it's way back inside my brain.
I was walking in fear. In fear of a heart attack (yes I have risk factors), in fear of leaving my children behind, in fear of not having left them with a true legacy of 'me'. I find it hard to even type those words, so strong is the gripping emotion. This was the kind of emotional turmoil that had taken hold of me (at times) prior to the great Bruce Springsteen catharsis in March. Listening to Bruce evaporated my fears, galvanised my resolve and until the past few weeks, I have not looked back, particularly in terms of physical fitness and responsibility for my physical well-being.
I've struggled emotionally and with time since my Dad went back into the nursing home. The idea that he would pass at any moment was difficult to accept, as was the about-face of realising that the doom and gloom predictions were again a little overenthusiastic. At the moment Dad is quite stable, if chronically unwell.
I think that the single most important factor to all the 'energy organising' that I do is to ensure that I have 1. nurtured my physical self so that I am a fully functioning capable human and 2. developed or maintained or discovered? a sense of 'me' so that I know whatever the future holds, that my children know 'me', they are not seeing only a shadow of the whole person.
I am fairly sure at the moment I'm very shadow like. I think this is what has been bugging me for a while. Part of the solution I know from previous experience is to focus in on the single important thing, and allow all other things to fall as they will after that. It seems to be effective. It is certainly a message I would like my children to remember -that their Mum instilled in them a sense of exercise for well-being, as well as living by that example.
I need to be considerably more active to be a poster child for health and exercise, but today I am satisfied that I at least had a go. I walked from the mechanics to playgroup, to the bus stop and back this afternoon (about 1.6 kms round trip) and then for another 20 minutes walk tonight. I took every opportunity this day offered to be more active.
On the subject of the authentic self that I feel I am not honouring, particularly in relation to my children, I found this article interesting. It never occurred to me to make a list of the things I like about me, and at the moment, I think our family could benefit from one of those sticky wall projects where each person's name is given a describing word around it. This isn't what the article is about, it is quite different, but for someone who is extrinsically motivated it always pays to keep an eye on the kind things that others who love me are saying about me!
Right now my mind is a bit of a puddle, I had so many more coherent thoughts but the fingers will not keep up, and the mind is interrupted with housework.
I was walking in fear. In fear of a heart attack (yes I have risk factors), in fear of leaving my children behind, in fear of not having left them with a true legacy of 'me'. I find it hard to even type those words, so strong is the gripping emotion. This was the kind of emotional turmoil that had taken hold of me (at times) prior to the great Bruce Springsteen catharsis in March. Listening to Bruce evaporated my fears, galvanised my resolve and until the past few weeks, I have not looked back, particularly in terms of physical fitness and responsibility for my physical well-being.
I've struggled emotionally and with time since my Dad went back into the nursing home. The idea that he would pass at any moment was difficult to accept, as was the about-face of realising that the doom and gloom predictions were again a little overenthusiastic. At the moment Dad is quite stable, if chronically unwell.
I think that the single most important factor to all the 'energy organising' that I do is to ensure that I have 1. nurtured my physical self so that I am a fully functioning capable human and 2. developed or maintained or discovered? a sense of 'me' so that I know whatever the future holds, that my children know 'me', they are not seeing only a shadow of the whole person.
I am fairly sure at the moment I'm very shadow like. I think this is what has been bugging me for a while. Part of the solution I know from previous experience is to focus in on the single important thing, and allow all other things to fall as they will after that. It seems to be effective. It is certainly a message I would like my children to remember -that their Mum instilled in them a sense of exercise for well-being, as well as living by that example.
I need to be considerably more active to be a poster child for health and exercise, but today I am satisfied that I at least had a go. I walked from the mechanics to playgroup, to the bus stop and back this afternoon (about 1.6 kms round trip) and then for another 20 minutes walk tonight. I took every opportunity this day offered to be more active.
On the subject of the authentic self that I feel I am not honouring, particularly in relation to my children, I found this article interesting. It never occurred to me to make a list of the things I like about me, and at the moment, I think our family could benefit from one of those sticky wall projects where each person's name is given a describing word around it. This isn't what the article is about, it is quite different, but for someone who is extrinsically motivated it always pays to keep an eye on the kind things that others who love me are saying about me!
Right now my mind is a bit of a puddle, I had so many more coherent thoughts but the fingers will not keep up, and the mind is interrupted with housework.
Tuesday, October 29, 2013
no excuses!
For the past few weeks, I've encountered a bit of a problem with my attitude, the excuses creeping in. During the winter I walked in the freezing cold, and I walked in the rain at night. I did not let the weather stop me from getting the exercise I need. Since the weather has warmed up, I have found myself quite often putting off going for a walk based on the warm weather - avoiding walking in the heat of the day. While this is a sensible decision if I can walk at another time, while I am so time constrained, it is sometimes going to be the middle of the day or not at all! Given that I'm still 10 kgs off my goal weight, and running low on time to achieve it, I can't afford to be fussy about the inclement weather in summer any more than I was in winter!
So today will be a busy day of exercise, I'm going for a walk shortly, to Tai Chi in the middle of the day and then to Tai Chi again tonight. I'm hoping that will kick start my week to include more Tai Chi tomorrow and a walk every day as well as Tai Chi when it is available.
Diet-wise I'm teetering between healthy and not so great. I restrained myself from eating bread yesterday, which is a huge win!
All of this change was inspired by reading this post on Project Eve this morning about how to regroup the inner self.
PS if you are wondering why the complete lack of photos lately, the secret is that I have a new phone and have not yet mastered the art of downloading the photos!
So today will be a busy day of exercise, I'm going for a walk shortly, to Tai Chi in the middle of the day and then to Tai Chi again tonight. I'm hoping that will kick start my week to include more Tai Chi tomorrow and a walk every day as well as Tai Chi when it is available.
Diet-wise I'm teetering between healthy and not so great. I restrained myself from eating bread yesterday, which is a huge win!
All of this change was inspired by reading this post on Project Eve this morning about how to regroup the inner self.
PS if you are wondering why the complete lack of photos lately, the secret is that I have a new phone and have not yet mastered the art of downloading the photos!
some days you can look at the bright side...
Yesterday was one of those days. Nothing could wash away the sunny skies for me. This is the facebook status update I posted:
I had an absolutely wonderful day today. My darling hubby rescued Dad by making sure he got his injection that was written up for him despite the nurse attempting to not do it, then returned home with our elder daughter. In the meantime I got a ton of washing done. My boy had his best mate and Mum over for a swim and play and us adults spent a lazy Sunday morning eating fruit salad! This afternoon went so lazily that I don't remember any details! Tonight finished with moving smallest ones clothes into the new bedroom, erecting a halloween spider's web, my little boy reading me a book and getting almost all the words and 3 happy little kiddliwinks and 2 tired parents!
What I could have posted about was:
Waht a frustrating day with a slow start, I'm too embarrassed at the state of the house so we need to collect my daughter from the sleepover, we don't want her friend's Dad seeing our place. My boy's friend is late, what took them so long, the playdate will be ruined by the big sister arriving home, oh NO!, now my boy has broken a light fitting by not listening to me and playing on the stairs! What an unproductive afternoon, nothing done and moody eldest child to boot! Got nothing done tonight, tomorrow will be a write-off.
This was a different, yet equally accurate version of yesterday as well. It was not the way I chose to record the day in my memory, nor on Facebook. I'm glad about that. I'd rather remember the lazy morning's visit with friends than the broken light fitting.
Some days, like today however, have parts in them that are beyond my understanding to mentally change. Even if I set aside the total waste of my time and frustrating incompetence of Dad's nursing home staff, there remains the 'husband and younger siblings miss the primary concert night' debacle.
As far as I'm concerned, the whole thing started and finished with the utterance at 3:30pm of the words "we've got plenty of time" about a performance that started at 5pm sharp, and is a 35 minute drive away.
I leave it with you to figure out the details for yourselves. I'm glad I got to see the performance, that my daughter had someone to watch her. I'm sad that her father missed out and that because of him, her little brother particularly missed an opportunity to see live music.
I had an absolutely wonderful day today. My darling hubby rescued Dad by making sure he got his injection that was written up for him despite the nurse attempting to not do it, then returned home with our elder daughter. In the meantime I got a ton of washing done. My boy had his best mate and Mum over for a swim and play and us adults spent a lazy Sunday morning eating fruit salad! This afternoon went so lazily that I don't remember any details! Tonight finished with moving smallest ones clothes into the new bedroom, erecting a halloween spider's web, my little boy reading me a book and getting almost all the words and 3 happy little kiddliwinks and 2 tired parents!
What I could have posted about was:
Waht a frustrating day with a slow start, I'm too embarrassed at the state of the house so we need to collect my daughter from the sleepover, we don't want her friend's Dad seeing our place. My boy's friend is late, what took them so long, the playdate will be ruined by the big sister arriving home, oh NO!, now my boy has broken a light fitting by not listening to me and playing on the stairs! What an unproductive afternoon, nothing done and moody eldest child to boot! Got nothing done tonight, tomorrow will be a write-off.
This was a different, yet equally accurate version of yesterday as well. It was not the way I chose to record the day in my memory, nor on Facebook. I'm glad about that. I'd rather remember the lazy morning's visit with friends than the broken light fitting.
Some days, like today however, have parts in them that are beyond my understanding to mentally change. Even if I set aside the total waste of my time and frustrating incompetence of Dad's nursing home staff, there remains the 'husband and younger siblings miss the primary concert night' debacle.
As far as I'm concerned, the whole thing started and finished with the utterance at 3:30pm of the words "we've got plenty of time" about a performance that started at 5pm sharp, and is a 35 minute drive away.
I leave it with you to figure out the details for yourselves. I'm glad I got to see the performance, that my daughter had someone to watch her. I'm sad that her father missed out and that because of him, her little brother particularly missed an opportunity to see live music.
Thursday, October 24, 2013
its all about the food ...
According to the personal trainers I've encountered, that's the trick. Food. The exercise is great, but it is really all about the food.
So tonight I was restrained and did not eat chocolate cake. I feel better for having avoided it. Which reminds me I need to make Tai Chi a Christmas cake.
But back to this food thing. Today I was particularly inspired, by one of Bruce Springsteen's fellow band members, Ed Manion, who shared a picture of his morning jog on Facebook. We all need to constantly keep active, it reminded me.
So I did 2 sets of Tai Chi in the 30 degree heat!
And this afternoon on my walk, I discussed the food issue with my friend in exercise and Bruce. We came to the conclusion that although it is primarily about food, there is nothing like sweating, straining and being physically demanding of your body to get a very clear understanding of how much that effort is wasted by snacking. My sources informed me this morning that one cupcake requires 30 minutes walking to burn off. So any time I eat a cupcake, that is that days walk wasted.
If I hadn't walked, for some reason, I'd be more likely to forget how much hard work I put into exercise when I'm doing it, and therefore more likely to eat the dodgy chocolately things.
Exercise also helps in other ways. It really does make me more cheerful. And there is nothing more energising and calorie burning than happiness. Happiness seems to lead to bouncing with energy.
I'm finding it hard to be grateful these days, or to be particularly happy, so here goes the 3 things I'm grateful for today -
1. that my daughter had the funky ex-rock n roll band member as her bus driver this afternoon. It made her happy which made me happy.
2. That the power came back on tonight so that we could wash school uniforms :)
3. grateful that my Dad looked good this morning and was able to talk on the phone with me this afternoon.
and finally I'm grateful to be getting a somewhat early night - last night was a shocker with 2 children awake at different times of the night!
So tonight I was restrained and did not eat chocolate cake. I feel better for having avoided it. Which reminds me I need to make Tai Chi a Christmas cake.
But back to this food thing. Today I was particularly inspired, by one of Bruce Springsteen's fellow band members, Ed Manion, who shared a picture of his morning jog on Facebook. We all need to constantly keep active, it reminded me.
So I did 2 sets of Tai Chi in the 30 degree heat!
And this afternoon on my walk, I discussed the food issue with my friend in exercise and Bruce. We came to the conclusion that although it is primarily about food, there is nothing like sweating, straining and being physically demanding of your body to get a very clear understanding of how much that effort is wasted by snacking. My sources informed me this morning that one cupcake requires 30 minutes walking to burn off. So any time I eat a cupcake, that is that days walk wasted.
If I hadn't walked, for some reason, I'd be more likely to forget how much hard work I put into exercise when I'm doing it, and therefore more likely to eat the dodgy chocolately things.
Exercise also helps in other ways. It really does make me more cheerful. And there is nothing more energising and calorie burning than happiness. Happiness seems to lead to bouncing with energy.
I'm finding it hard to be grateful these days, or to be particularly happy, so here goes the 3 things I'm grateful for today -
1. that my daughter had the funky ex-rock n roll band member as her bus driver this afternoon. It made her happy which made me happy.
2. That the power came back on tonight so that we could wash school uniforms :)
3. grateful that my Dad looked good this morning and was able to talk on the phone with me this afternoon.
and finally I'm grateful to be getting a somewhat early night - last night was a shocker with 2 children awake at different times of the night!
Thursday, October 17, 2013
Learning curve - communication under pressure!
I've learnt so much from looking after my Dad about people. So so much. I just hope I am able to retain it all, because it takes superhuman patience and a whole shift of attitude / head zone to undertake the delicacy of communication I am managing with 3 different levels of care staff (4 if you count management); doctors, multiplied by the same in the hospital and then random extras like physio and nurse practitioners. By the time I'm done balancing and juggling all of that I'm buggered on a daily basis. Not to mention keeping a lid on wanting to blow my steam when there are not wet wipes or spare underwear in Dads bathroom FFS and I'm helping him by myself!
I'll revisit the details of this another time.
I'll revisit the details of this another time.
Friday, October 11, 2013
Spiralling up or down? It's my choice.
Sadly I attended a funeral today. As they do, this one got me thinking about life, and what it all means.
My revelation for the evening is this:
Life is like a marriage. You are either actively contributing towards its success, or your apathy is actively working against it.
I was told this about relationships a long time ago and have found it to be proven true time and time again. Applying the principle to 'living life' works in the same way. Apathy or not engaging is simply another way of going out of your way not to live life to the fullest.
My exercise and eating have come unstuck lately. I've gained weight :( I was contemplating this while wondering how to get it all back on track and I realised that this principle applies. I'm either working with all I have towards healthy living, or by doing 'nothing' I am in fact descending rapidly into unhealthy habits again. For some people this may not be so prounounced but for me it is very clear that apathy equates to negativity.
I keep having to remind myself to continue to blog, and to keep up all the range of good habits I began. I get forgetful and imagine that as long as I exercise and eat well that I'm doing 'good', when in fact I've proven to myself this year that blogging, gratitude and other habits are as important as the exercise and they contribute to my capacity to maintain the exercise and good eating habits under stressful circumstances.
Ergo, that we are constantly in motion and as creatures of habit our motion tends to keep going in the direction we are travelling - thus we are either spiralling up (working towards the good stuff) or spiralling down (away from the good stuff).
I choose to keep spiralling up. I choose to keep choosing this, over and over again.
My revelation for the evening is this:
Life is like a marriage. You are either actively contributing towards its success, or your apathy is actively working against it.
I was told this about relationships a long time ago and have found it to be proven true time and time again. Applying the principle to 'living life' works in the same way. Apathy or not engaging is simply another way of going out of your way not to live life to the fullest.
My exercise and eating have come unstuck lately. I've gained weight :( I was contemplating this while wondering how to get it all back on track and I realised that this principle applies. I'm either working with all I have towards healthy living, or by doing 'nothing' I am in fact descending rapidly into unhealthy habits again. For some people this may not be so prounounced but for me it is very clear that apathy equates to negativity.
I keep having to remind myself to continue to blog, and to keep up all the range of good habits I began. I get forgetful and imagine that as long as I exercise and eat well that I'm doing 'good', when in fact I've proven to myself this year that blogging, gratitude and other habits are as important as the exercise and they contribute to my capacity to maintain the exercise and good eating habits under stressful circumstances.
Ergo, that we are constantly in motion and as creatures of habit our motion tends to keep going in the direction we are travelling - thus we are either spiralling up (working towards the good stuff) or spiralling down (away from the good stuff).
I choose to keep spiralling up. I choose to keep choosing this, over and over again.
Thursday, September 26, 2013
Chore Wars - Inspired idea!
I feel that I'm a bit slow to things this year. First I discover that the 'pretty good' Bruce Springsteen is actually an amazing inspirational artist who has a remarkably loyal and incredible group of fans. And now I have encountered 'Chore Wars' - the absolute must-have for house work and household management for the gamer family!
My family's motivations are transformed! I have my elder child battling it out with me for the most XP (experience points for the unfortunate non-gamer readers) and my boy competing fiercely with Daddy for the most male XP in the household. Pretty soon the two big ones will have to watch out as the toddler gets her own share of XP thanks to her helpful nature!
You can start out with the pre-generated jobs like washing up, putting on laundry, cooking dinner, but it is very simple to add your own household full of duties and to give them funky D&D style names such as "Storing Armour for the Morrow" which is Chore Wars speak for "putting away your clean clothes".
I am loving it! The downside is as the local Dungeon Master (DM) for my party, I am the one who is creating all the jobs, so I'm falling behind on my own personal XP, spending a lot of time micro-managing every little job in the household.
I'm hoping this is a transformative experience for all of us, so far the children have been very enthusiastic and time will tell if it shames hubby into lifting his game!
Personally I am looking forward to exploring Quests - they sound promising.
At the moment the 14 days of household deep cleaning has been derailed by Chore Wars, but I'm ok with that. I think when I have Chore Wars functioning, I will re-start the 14 day deep cleaning as a 14 week project as it was meant to be.
If you like online games, or roleplaying, go check it out, Chore Wars. Excellent stuff.
My family's motivations are transformed! I have my elder child battling it out with me for the most XP (experience points for the unfortunate non-gamer readers) and my boy competing fiercely with Daddy for the most male XP in the household. Pretty soon the two big ones will have to watch out as the toddler gets her own share of XP thanks to her helpful nature!
You can start out with the pre-generated jobs like washing up, putting on laundry, cooking dinner, but it is very simple to add your own household full of duties and to give them funky D&D style names such as "Storing Armour for the Morrow" which is Chore Wars speak for "putting away your clean clothes".
I am loving it! The downside is as the local Dungeon Master (DM) for my party, I am the one who is creating all the jobs, so I'm falling behind on my own personal XP, spending a lot of time micro-managing every little job in the household.
I'm hoping this is a transformative experience for all of us, so far the children have been very enthusiastic and time will tell if it shames hubby into lifting his game!
Personally I am looking forward to exploring Quests - they sound promising.
At the moment the 14 days of household deep cleaning has been derailed by Chore Wars, but I'm ok with that. I think when I have Chore Wars functioning, I will re-start the 14 day deep cleaning as a 14 week project as it was meant to be.
If you like online games, or roleplaying, go check it out, Chore Wars. Excellent stuff.
Tuesday, September 24, 2013
Lurgy!
I've been struck down with .... a headcold!
Aside from general fatigue it's not so bad. What it has done is sapped some of my energy, but that is what improvisation and friends are for. I've used the latter to bolster my focus and remind me of the tasks that can't be compromised or put off - like talking with doctors.
As for improvisation, I am realising that what counts is every time you say "yes" I can do something about this that matters. Every yes is the door to another yes and more goodwill and good feelings.
So my yes for today was to do stretching exercises and squats while pushing my girl on the swing. I feel better, so does she and I have bought myself the goodwill to quickly type these thoughts out before lunch :)
Aside from general fatigue it's not so bad. What it has done is sapped some of my energy, but that is what improvisation and friends are for. I've used the latter to bolster my focus and remind me of the tasks that can't be compromised or put off - like talking with doctors.
As for improvisation, I am realising that what counts is every time you say "yes" I can do something about this that matters. Every yes is the door to another yes and more goodwill and good feelings.
So my yes for today was to do stretching exercises and squats while pushing my girl on the swing. I feel better, so does she and I have bought myself the goodwill to quickly type these thoughts out before lunch :)
Monday, September 23, 2013
Excuses and self
This little thought was inspired by a discussion around some rather glorious photos of Bruce Springsteen in bright orange swimmers. I know you all needed that detail :)
there is a point at which you say "I need no excuses" and from then on your health becomes your responsibility alone. At that point there is no guilt because guilt goes hand in hand with excuses. Missed this week's walks? Well then CHANGE and try something new next week, starting today. That is how I've lived my life since seeing Bruce in concert. He inspires me to realise that the energy, the motivation and the capability are inside ME.
there is a point at which you say "I need no excuses" and from then on your health becomes your responsibility alone. At that point there is no guilt because guilt goes hand in hand with excuses. Missed this week's walks? Well then CHANGE and try something new next week, starting today. That is how I've lived my life since seeing Bruce in concert. He inspires me to realise that the energy, the motivation and the capability are inside ME.
Sunday, September 22, 2013
Cleaning party to Springsteen!
There were fabulous parts to my day. Getting to see the excellent quality live-streamed Rock in Rio concert was one of them. Doing that while sorting out a massive pile of papers at least got me through the cleaning up in one piece.
Here's what I'm up to - its the Cleaning Grand Plan from Organized Home. I am loving trying something new and sticking with a new method of getting things done - breaking out of my previous habit of insanely repeating the same things over and over and hoping for a miraculous change.
Today I moved along all the clean laundry from the laundry room into bedrooms and the linen closet, freeing up room to move shelving from in the laundry to it's proper destination - the kitchen. However the spot for the shelving in the kitchen was a little cluttered with what I like to call "boxes of rubbish" but apparently are made up of equal parts bills and children's artworks with a selection of random craft, mementos and photographs!
This is the pile of papers for my father that I need to copy! Oh how I long for a lackey to do THAT for me!
I did take some lovely photos of elder child's artwork. I like how insanely bright this is! She doesn't want to throw it all away, but my next project is to label it as photographed and if it drifts out of her bedroom then in the bin it goes. I also hope to print out a collage to frame on the wall, but thats a project for another day.
What I learnt today was that it is a very bad thing to let bills get out of control and pile up, because in this household, that means they eventually end up in a random box with other non-bill things and that's never going to end well. I also learnt that getting control of paperwork is going to always be an ongoing thing for me, its not at all my strong suit. In fact papers would easily be where I lose the war with 'stuff' - I am reconsidering the sanity of having all bills arrive by email. For me personally that would require a separate 'bills' email account so they didn't get lost in my general and junk mail. That's certainly something to get onto, as then the 'paper' could pile up inside my computer where only I see it!
This afternoon's exercise was a walk up the hill from the children's playground to my Dad's nursing home, about 20 minutes with views like this along the way.
Sunset over the river. Glorious time for walking in a beautiful place.
I have a thing for clover on the side of the road. Especially around the bottom of very old telegraph poles :)
Tomorrow is a work day, also a day for sorting out quite a bit for my Dad. Hubby should be working on the shelving while I'm gone, so kitchen progress will be made. Tuesday all going well I will move on to the next cleaning adventure on the Grand Plan.
Here's what I'm up to - its the Cleaning Grand Plan from Organized Home. I am loving trying something new and sticking with a new method of getting things done - breaking out of my previous habit of insanely repeating the same things over and over and hoping for a miraculous change.
Today I moved along all the clean laundry from the laundry room into bedrooms and the linen closet, freeing up room to move shelving from in the laundry to it's proper destination - the kitchen. However the spot for the shelving in the kitchen was a little cluttered with what I like to call "boxes of rubbish" but apparently are made up of equal parts bills and children's artworks with a selection of random craft, mementos and photographs!
This is the pile of papers for my father that I need to copy! Oh how I long for a lackey to do THAT for me!
This afternoon's exercise was a walk up the hill from the children's playground to my Dad's nursing home, about 20 minutes with views like this along the way.
Sunset over the river. Glorious time for walking in a beautiful place.
Tomorrow is a work day, also a day for sorting out quite a bit for my Dad. Hubby should be working on the shelving while I'm gone, so kitchen progress will be made. Tuesday all going well I will move on to the next cleaning adventure on the Grand Plan.
Two weeks of grand cleaning!
Over the past few days I decided to try a new way to attack the organisation and restoration of order in my home. I realised that I was embodying the definition of insanity - to repeat the same activity over and over and expect different results!
What I intend to do instead is to be guided by what seems like a reasonable 'guide' to Spring cleaning and follow that guide through for the 2 weeks of the school holidays. I've modified it to fit in with my time frame, but I'm also committed to repeating the whole process over the following 14 weeks to achieve a decent level of household loveliness. Here is the guide I'm following.
That's the plan and this is where you'll see my updates. At the moment I'm on day 3 of the clean. Today I will finish the laundry and kitchen - this involves taking some shelving that was always meant to go into the kitchen and finally put it up, which will leave me more room in the laundry.
My first day was a successful cleanup of the entry - I've done that about 6 months ago and this time an armchair had drifted into the room next to the door, where it collected clutter. The armchair is now gone and so is the clutter.
My arthritis is playing up so behind the business of tidying will also be the restoration of my salad based diet, frequent walks and removing bread and milk from my diet again in the hope to restore some functionality to my poor arthritic hand!
My hubby and I are still almost full time caring for my father, as the nursing home staff do not supply him with enough fluids during each day and it is critical he gets what he needs.
These next few weeks will be challenging, as the last few have been, but the rewards will be worthwhile.
For those who are Springsteen fans, here is the youtube link to tonight's Rock in Rio concert!
I can't wait!
What I intend to do instead is to be guided by what seems like a reasonable 'guide' to Spring cleaning and follow that guide through for the 2 weeks of the school holidays. I've modified it to fit in with my time frame, but I'm also committed to repeating the whole process over the following 14 weeks to achieve a decent level of household loveliness. Here is the guide I'm following.
That's the plan and this is where you'll see my updates. At the moment I'm on day 3 of the clean. Today I will finish the laundry and kitchen - this involves taking some shelving that was always meant to go into the kitchen and finally put it up, which will leave me more room in the laundry.
My first day was a successful cleanup of the entry - I've done that about 6 months ago and this time an armchair had drifted into the room next to the door, where it collected clutter. The armchair is now gone and so is the clutter.
My arthritis is playing up so behind the business of tidying will also be the restoration of my salad based diet, frequent walks and removing bread and milk from my diet again in the hope to restore some functionality to my poor arthritic hand!
My hubby and I are still almost full time caring for my father, as the nursing home staff do not supply him with enough fluids during each day and it is critical he gets what he needs.
These next few weeks will be challenging, as the last few have been, but the rewards will be worthwhile.
For those who are Springsteen fans, here is the youtube link to tonight's Rock in Rio concert!
I can't wait!
Monday, September 16, 2013
Thank you Bruce Funds!
I'm sharing my private thank to you the lovely Donna and team at Bruce Funds. What an amazing gift it has been to be part of the vision of giving as many people as possible the opportunity to see the Wrecking Ball Tour!
Thank you for the inspiration to share the incredible phenomenon that is Bruce Springsteen and the ESB with others I have thoroughly enjoyed both my 1/2 price ticket sale (privately) and the ticket I donated through Bruce Funds being used by people who then got to have an amazing incredible fantastic time. The journey has been so fulfilling and I can only imagine the enjoyment you get from operating Bruce funds.
Lets make the Australian concerts a Bruce Funds success - please visit their webpage and donate or nominate for the February tour!
Thank you for the inspiration to share the incredible phenomenon that is Bruce Springsteen and the ESB with others I have thoroughly enjoyed both my 1/2 price ticket sale (privately) and the ticket I donated through Bruce Funds being used by people who then got to have an amazing incredible fantastic time. The journey has been so fulfilling and I can only imagine the enjoyment you get from operating Bruce funds.
Lets make the Australian concerts a Bruce Funds success - please visit their webpage and donate or nominate for the February tour!
Thursday, September 12, 2013
My Daily Gratitude - the joy of generosity.
Blog? What blog?
I've been haphazard in my blogging for the past fortnight because my Dad has been critically ill in hospital. :(
Tonight he is home at his aged care home, looking very frail, but sort of smug to be in his own bed.
I have so much to say, but tonight I want to concentrate on the uplifting happiness that I am gaining from something I thought would make me sad.
Weeks ago, when the Bruce Springsteen concert in Santiago, Chile, was announced, I jumped onto the website and bought 2 Cancha Frontal (GA or Pit) tickets to this concert. I had hopes of being able to take my elder daughter on a trip with me to visit some ex-pat rellies and see Bruce. Logistically though it just didn't work out, and when I advertised my tickets, I found a very very cheerful, infectiously delighted Peruvian ticket purchaser who was very happy to be able to get a ticket for a lower price.
I'm running out of time to tell this story properly, but what I very much want to share is how fulfilled I feel being able to assist someone see Bruce in a more affordable way, particularly with his kind sharing of his favourite songs, his travel arrangements and plans for the trip to Santiago and his hopes to be up close to El Jefe! (or Bruce, to us).
It brings me so much excitement to hear via Facebook that Leylys is in fact 12th in line to see the concert, sharing the 'most keen fans' status with several other Peruvians (they seem very loyal fans!), some Brazilians and a couple from Italy on their 154th show, or so I'm told by the Facebook status!
This post is for Leylys, may he have a wonderful time at the concert, may Downbound Train be played for you, and I hope that you have an unforgettable moment or several :)
Gracias Leylys for taking me on the journey with you. I am so looking forward to the grand finale of the adventure you've included me in. Having your updates has really helped me feel good while Dad's been sick and always given me a little something to look forward to hearing about!
It has been my absolute pleasure to get to know you, and I am so looking forward to the amazing photographs from your front row position!
There's magic in the night, your faith will be rewarded :)
I've been haphazard in my blogging for the past fortnight because my Dad has been critically ill in hospital. :(
Tonight he is home at his aged care home, looking very frail, but sort of smug to be in his own bed.
I have so much to say, but tonight I want to concentrate on the uplifting happiness that I am gaining from something I thought would make me sad.
Weeks ago, when the Bruce Springsteen concert in Santiago, Chile, was announced, I jumped onto the website and bought 2 Cancha Frontal (GA or Pit) tickets to this concert. I had hopes of being able to take my elder daughter on a trip with me to visit some ex-pat rellies and see Bruce. Logistically though it just didn't work out, and when I advertised my tickets, I found a very very cheerful, infectiously delighted Peruvian ticket purchaser who was very happy to be able to get a ticket for a lower price.
I'm running out of time to tell this story properly, but what I very much want to share is how fulfilled I feel being able to assist someone see Bruce in a more affordable way, particularly with his kind sharing of his favourite songs, his travel arrangements and plans for the trip to Santiago and his hopes to be up close to El Jefe! (or Bruce, to us).
It brings me so much excitement to hear via Facebook that Leylys is in fact 12th in line to see the concert, sharing the 'most keen fans' status with several other Peruvians (they seem very loyal fans!), some Brazilians and a couple from Italy on their 154th show, or so I'm told by the Facebook status!
This post is for Leylys, may he have a wonderful time at the concert, may Downbound Train be played for you, and I hope that you have an unforgettable moment or several :)
Gracias Leylys for taking me on the journey with you. I am so looking forward to the grand finale of the adventure you've included me in. Having your updates has really helped me feel good while Dad's been sick and always given me a little something to look forward to hearing about!
It has been my absolute pleasure to get to know you, and I am so looking forward to the amazing photographs from your front row position!
There's magic in the night, your faith will be rewarded :)
Tuesday, August 27, 2013
It's a bird! It's a plane! It's a BLOG!
This blog doesn't really have anything to do with superman, unless you consider for a moment the many hats I am juggling right now. I'm being a Mum, working, being a Springsteen fanatic (very busy at the moment with ticket buying), caring for my Dad, trying to protect my Dad's interests, and at the moment nursing a very sick, elderly cat.
I'm also a bit stiff and sore from my 5km race efforts and from my sore back.
There really isn't much else to report. I'm drinking my water, blowing the diet altogether and freaking out about my budget while lamenting the extremely poor political choices in our upcoming federal election (which I wouldn't give a moment's thought except that I'm bombarded with advertsing about it).
I feel a profound sadness at the turn of many recent events. Thankfully I have Bruce to look forward to, as well as our family trip around the country.
What I really need to be planning is the next school holidays!
I'm also a bit stiff and sore from my 5km race efforts and from my sore back.
There really isn't much else to report. I'm drinking my water, blowing the diet altogether and freaking out about my budget while lamenting the extremely poor political choices in our upcoming federal election (which I wouldn't give a moment's thought except that I'm bombarded with advertsing about it).
I feel a profound sadness at the turn of many recent events. Thankfully I have Bruce to look forward to, as well as our family trip around the country.
What I really need to be planning is the next school holidays!
Sunday, August 25, 2013
I finished a 5km race!
There's something I can cross off my bucket list! I've just finished the 5km race in the Sunshine Coast Marathon! I'm coming back to edit this, just realising that what I am totally neglecting to mention here is that 12 months ago there is no way I could walk 5km at all, due to the arthritic pain from psoriatic arthritis. I have Bruce Springsteen's inspiration and my own determination to thank for this remarkable recovery.
I still have arthritis, but like any auto-immune disease, it is affected quite incredibly, not only by stress (in a bad way) but also by happiness and joy. The lighter, more joyful and happy I feel, the less impact the disease has on my life. I am still prone to injury, particularly muscle and tendon strain, and swelling, however my pain levels are significantly reduced since I started exercising, and especially since I started enjoying life to the fullest, courtesy of Bruce Springsteen's musical inspiration. I hope that in the months leading up to his arrival in February, and in the months after he leaves Australia again, that I get my fill of Springsteen-motivation and am able to carry on with even more mobility and less pain for at least a year! After his concerts this past March, the extreme happiness bubble wore off within 3 months. Its sort of back now, and I intend to keep building on the happiness so that my Bruce happiness bubble keeps me going for a considerable time!
My goals today were to 1. finish and 2. finish in under one hour. I managed both, quite easily! My time was 50 minutes and 14 seconds! Which I believe is 6km / hour, if my maths brain is still working!
I can safely say that I think I'm hooked. Its fun to be in a great big group of people running and walking. Setting a pace of 6 km / hour over 5 kms is quite remarkable for me, and it was all about having people in front of me that I could focus on catching up to and keeping up with.
As usual thing didn't go as much to plan as I would like. My poor phone decided to have a conniption so Runkeeper didn't work and I had no idea of my pace until 3km into the race, when the helpful water station people knew we were at the 3km mark. Then it was a bit of a race to finish under 1 hour.
I enjoyed my almost hour of Bruce. The playlist for my walk was
All or Nothing at All
All that Heaven Will Allow
Atlantic City
The Rising
We Take Care of Our Own
Easy Money
Shackled and Drawn
Reason to Believe
Glory Days
Dancing in the Dark
Shackled and Drawn again :)
By this time next year I hope to be up to some variation on the 5km I just did. Perhaps some jogging along with the walking. It really depends as jogging does have an impact on my spine, and I need to protect that part of me!
Either way, I'm sure next year I can do a better place, and get closer to the top half of the field.
I'll absolutely be doing this one again because the location and weather couldn't be more perfect!
Tomorrow I might be a little sore. At the moment I have a few blisters, hopefully they will heal up before work tomorrow!
I still have arthritis, but like any auto-immune disease, it is affected quite incredibly, not only by stress (in a bad way) but also by happiness and joy. The lighter, more joyful and happy I feel, the less impact the disease has on my life. I am still prone to injury, particularly muscle and tendon strain, and swelling, however my pain levels are significantly reduced since I started exercising, and especially since I started enjoying life to the fullest, courtesy of Bruce Springsteen's musical inspiration. I hope that in the months leading up to his arrival in February, and in the months after he leaves Australia again, that I get my fill of Springsteen-motivation and am able to carry on with even more mobility and less pain for at least a year! After his concerts this past March, the extreme happiness bubble wore off within 3 months. Its sort of back now, and I intend to keep building on the happiness so that my Bruce happiness bubble keeps me going for a considerable time!
My goals today were to 1. finish and 2. finish in under one hour. I managed both, quite easily! My time was 50 minutes and 14 seconds! Which I believe is 6km / hour, if my maths brain is still working!
I can safely say that I think I'm hooked. Its fun to be in a great big group of people running and walking. Setting a pace of 6 km / hour over 5 kms is quite remarkable for me, and it was all about having people in front of me that I could focus on catching up to and keeping up with.
As usual thing didn't go as much to plan as I would like. My poor phone decided to have a conniption so Runkeeper didn't work and I had no idea of my pace until 3km into the race, when the helpful water station people knew we were at the 3km mark. Then it was a bit of a race to finish under 1 hour.
I enjoyed my almost hour of Bruce. The playlist for my walk was
All or Nothing at All
All that Heaven Will Allow
Atlantic City
The Rising
We Take Care of Our Own
Easy Money
Shackled and Drawn
Reason to Believe
Glory Days
Dancing in the Dark
Shackled and Drawn again :)
By this time next year I hope to be up to some variation on the 5km I just did. Perhaps some jogging along with the walking. It really depends as jogging does have an impact on my spine, and I need to protect that part of me!
Either way, I'm sure next year I can do a better place, and get closer to the top half of the field.
I'll absolutely be doing this one again because the location and weather couldn't be more perfect!
Tomorrow I might be a little sore. At the moment I have a few blisters, hopefully they will heal up before work tomorrow!
Thursday, August 22, 2013
Walking 5kms for Alzheimer's
Oh, thats me! I'm doing the 5km section of the Sunshine Coast Marathon on Sunday. My training, as you probably know, if you've been reading my blog, is sporadic at best. I am just aiming to finish the 5kms without mishap.
Here is my rather boring fundraising page
Here is my Dad, who has Alzheimer's.
I watched an amazing TED talk once, about a woman who is preparing herself to get Alzheimer's disease. Here it is!
Please consider sponsoring me, and helping aid research into the prevention and treatment of this terrible disease.
Here is my rather boring fundraising page
Here is my Dad, who has Alzheimer's.
I watched an amazing TED talk once, about a woman who is preparing herself to get Alzheimer's disease. Here it is!
Please consider sponsoring me, and helping aid research into the prevention and treatment of this terrible disease.
Wednesday, August 21, 2013
Two Bruce days later...
Here I sit in the post-Bruce pre-sale apocalypse. It wasn't at all like this:
It was more like this, only on the internet, with the selling site being one side and all the ticket-seekers on the other.
I have survived with some of the tickets I was after. But it did rather interfere with exercise today, so it was a short 15 minute walk for me. The cold weather didn't do me any favours as the car fumes on the main road nearly choked me so I hurried home for a drink of water.
Yesterday however turned out rather well. After hiding at a friend's house, I arrived home with a sleepy baby so I put her in the stroller and took a half hour walk with her snoozing the whole way. Pushing the pram around gave me an extra workout, as did having a different Tai Chi instructor last night who made sure that we really got the muscles pumping.
Hopefully all that makes up for today's small effort. My back hurts after the injury the other week, I am hoping when the cold weather goes away so will the backache!
Time for bed now, more chaos and mayhem tomorrow.
I have survived with some of the tickets I was after. But it did rather interfere with exercise today, so it was a short 15 minute walk for me. The cold weather didn't do me any favours as the car fumes on the main road nearly choked me so I hurried home for a drink of water.
Yesterday however turned out rather well. After hiding at a friend's house, I arrived home with a sleepy baby so I put her in the stroller and took a half hour walk with her snoozing the whole way. Pushing the pram around gave me an extra workout, as did having a different Tai Chi instructor last night who made sure that we really got the muscles pumping.
Hopefully all that makes up for today's small effort. My back hurts after the injury the other week, I am hoping when the cold weather goes away so will the backache!
Time for bed now, more chaos and mayhem tomorrow.
Monday, August 19, 2013
Hi Ho! Off to work I went.
Today's update isn't very newsy. Monday is my workday and its a long commute. I had terrific plans of a long walk, but really I don't like to spend any more time than I have to at work.
Dad is unwell, so with hubby sitting by his bedside there was no evening walk for me either. Tomorrow I will have to do a long walk with baby girl in tow (somehow) as well as my Tai Chi class.
Tonight's goal is to finish the washing up and leave the kitchen benches, table and floor tidy and clean. Sounds simple but its not an every day thing around here, my kitchen genie ran away a long time ago. I still have trouble sleeping if I get too enthusiastic about the housework in the evening!
Speaking of goals though I need to finish more water, only 1 litre so far today. Another litre to go.
Dad is unwell, so with hubby sitting by his bedside there was no evening walk for me either. Tomorrow I will have to do a long walk with baby girl in tow (somehow) as well as my Tai Chi class.
Tonight's goal is to finish the washing up and leave the kitchen benches, table and floor tidy and clean. Sounds simple but its not an every day thing around here, my kitchen genie ran away a long time ago. I still have trouble sleeping if I get too enthusiastic about the housework in the evening!
Speaking of goals though I need to finish more water, only 1 litre so far today. Another litre to go.
Bruce is coming baaack! *happy dance*
My inner spirit is in a happy happy place, despite considerable turbulence in my life. Bruce Springsteen and the E Street Band are coming back to Australia in February!
Excitement! Anticipation! Planning!
Exercise!
Yes, exercise! One of my quiet, secret dreams that I did not even commit to paper (hence making it a dream not a goal) since seeing Bruce and the band last March, was to be in the front row of the pit, with a sign that said "Hey Bruce, you inspired me to lose 20kgs!"
Now that he's returning in 6 months, and that I've written it down for all the world to see, its a goal, not a dream. I'd be happy to waste my 'sign request' on letting him know what a difference he's made in my life.
And its not too hard as goals go, as I've already lost 10kgs, so its really only 10 more to go! 9 if you are an optimist as most days I'm now 89 kgs.
But hey, 79 kgs is even better than 80 as a goal. I like it more, because it starts with 7 not 8!
My first steps are to ignore the sugar cravings I'm having, they seem to be a force of nature at the moment, but to counter them with at least my 2 litres of water a day and to do 30 minutes exercise every single day for the next month. In the past few weeks I was increasing my Tai Chi, but at the expense of my walking, so I hovered at the same weight all month.
I'm also wanting to write a little blog entry every day. For me right now, the number one way that I can organise my energy is to again focus on exercise and health, while the excitement is with me. Yes I also want to continue to finalise all the mountains of renovations (and clean washing) but at the moment I want to revisit the basics of exercise exercise exercise :)
Having said that, I have a short update on the general energy front. I was diagnosed with Iron Deficiency Anemia - and the other day when I didn't take my Iron supplement on time, oh boy. Flat me. But I dragged myself out of that and just got about my day 'pretending' to be managing, and pretty soon not only had I cleaned and swept the back verandah but I had Miss 2 out there painting pictures!
Tonight we had campfire toast, marshmallows and garlic bread for dinner! Happy Mummy and happy children.
The boy and I also caught a TV interview with Bruce Springsteen and he has again asked to go to a concert! I am one proud and excited Mummy!
Excitement! Anticipation! Planning!
Exercise!
Yes, exercise! One of my quiet, secret dreams that I did not even commit to paper (hence making it a dream not a goal) since seeing Bruce and the band last March, was to be in the front row of the pit, with a sign that said "Hey Bruce, you inspired me to lose 20kgs!"
Now that he's returning in 6 months, and that I've written it down for all the world to see, its a goal, not a dream. I'd be happy to waste my 'sign request' on letting him know what a difference he's made in my life.
And its not too hard as goals go, as I've already lost 10kgs, so its really only 10 more to go! 9 if you are an optimist as most days I'm now 89 kgs.
But hey, 79 kgs is even better than 80 as a goal. I like it more, because it starts with 7 not 8!
My first steps are to ignore the sugar cravings I'm having, they seem to be a force of nature at the moment, but to counter them with at least my 2 litres of water a day and to do 30 minutes exercise every single day for the next month. In the past few weeks I was increasing my Tai Chi, but at the expense of my walking, so I hovered at the same weight all month.
I'm also wanting to write a little blog entry every day. For me right now, the number one way that I can organise my energy is to again focus on exercise and health, while the excitement is with me. Yes I also want to continue to finalise all the mountains of renovations (and clean washing) but at the moment I want to revisit the basics of exercise exercise exercise :)
Having said that, I have a short update on the general energy front. I was diagnosed with Iron Deficiency Anemia - and the other day when I didn't take my Iron supplement on time, oh boy. Flat me. But I dragged myself out of that and just got about my day 'pretending' to be managing, and pretty soon not only had I cleaned and swept the back verandah but I had Miss 2 out there painting pictures!
Tonight we had campfire toast, marshmallows and garlic bread for dinner! Happy Mummy and happy children.
The boy and I also caught a TV interview with Bruce Springsteen and he has again asked to go to a concert! I am one proud and excited Mummy!
Tuesday, August 13, 2013
Sugar Sugar ... Bad news for me!
This is a really short post to make note of my recent, self-pitying sugar indulgence. I'd say I've been really getting into the sugary food for about 4 days, but it did all start 2 weeks ago, being the only mud cake eater in my house devouring birthday cake slowly but surely after my girl's party.
I'm currently having a decent wallow in self-pity. I'm feeling very burdened by family troubles (the ones I was born with, not my own gorgeous hubby and children); I'm feeling uncertain about my health, about finances and I'm feeling tired (yes that will be the anemia!)
I'm finding 80's music strangely extremely uplifting. I've always liked 80's but at the moment it is having an effect similar to Bruce Springsteen's magic of the past few months.
But I digress. I suspect much of the mood I'm currently in, given that in theory right now is a wonderful time hormonally speaking, can be squarely blamed on too much sugar.
I've followed a reasonable diet of little sugar up until the party, and have really only gone all out with poor choices like biccies and milk since this weekend.
This quote from a random Google search result says it all doesn't it?
"sugar consumption triggers a cascade of chemical reactions in your body that promote chronic inflammation. In the long term, inflammation disrupts the normal functioning of your immune system, and wreaks havoc on your brain."
And I've learned a new thing tonight that makes sense. Sugar apparently reduces your vitamin B. "these foods not only supply very little in the way of nutrients but they also use up the mood enhancing B vitamins"
Well there you go. So my recent awful diet has caused inflammation (bad in someone with auto-immune disease), but it has stolen my B vitamins.
This girl is going to take drastic action to fix this up, I'm tired of feeling low, and its only been a few days.
I'm currently having a decent wallow in self-pity. I'm feeling very burdened by family troubles (the ones I was born with, not my own gorgeous hubby and children); I'm feeling uncertain about my health, about finances and I'm feeling tired (yes that will be the anemia!)
I'm finding 80's music strangely extremely uplifting. I've always liked 80's but at the moment it is having an effect similar to Bruce Springsteen's magic of the past few months.
But I digress. I suspect much of the mood I'm currently in, given that in theory right now is a wonderful time hormonally speaking, can be squarely blamed on too much sugar.
I've followed a reasonable diet of little sugar up until the party, and have really only gone all out with poor choices like biccies and milk since this weekend.
This quote from a random Google search result says it all doesn't it?
"sugar consumption triggers a cascade of chemical reactions in your body that promote chronic inflammation. In the long term, inflammation disrupts the normal functioning of your immune system, and wreaks havoc on your brain."
And I've learned a new thing tonight that makes sense. Sugar apparently reduces your vitamin B. "these foods not only supply very little in the way of nutrients but they also use up the mood enhancing B vitamins"
Well there you go. So my recent awful diet has caused inflammation (bad in someone with auto-immune disease), but it has stolen my B vitamins.
This girl is going to take drastic action to fix this up, I'm tired of feeling low, and its only been a few days.
Saturday, August 10, 2013
Iron deficiency - spectacular ways to avoid blogging.
Well that explains a lot. Including why I don't seem to find time for blogging at the moment. I just found out 'officially' that I have Iron Deficiency Anemia. Which is a rather spectacular way of saying I'm not getting enough dietary Iron and its causing havoc with my whole system. It does not mean that I am a bad wife / mother / housekeeper for not doing enough ironing, although I do have a 'no iron' motto in my house, it was not meant to refer to the dietary kind!
Way back in early April I visited my doctor. "I think I'm low in Iron." I told him. At this point, what I'm learning now in hindsight, I should have stuck to my guns and listened to my body. It would have saved me months of feeling less than wonderful. Instead I listened to a lovely, calm rational explanation from a man quoting a text book about why I should not be low in Iron. Including reassuring me that my recent blood test results that showed a healthy haemoglobin level.
One of the things that can happen when you exercise (and breastfeed) is that your Iron stores get depleted. Or you don't absorb it as well. Something happens, I've read it on the net :) Increasing exercise can equate to decreased Iron. Which is fine if you treat it straight away.
If you don't, the symptoms you can suffer with (and I did) include:
http://www.webmd.com/a-to-z-guides/iron-deficiency-anemia-topic-overview
http://www.nhlbi.nih.gov/health/health-topics/topics/ida/signs.html
http://bodyandhealth.canada.com/condition_info_details.asp?disease_id=274
So although it is still possible, given my family history, that I'm menopausal, all of the symptoms above may also be related only to my Iron deficiency. Which was only picked up after a second doctor sent me for an "Iron Studies" blood test (also known as Anemia Studies). This brilliant site explains the difference nicely, stating that Serum Iron has little clinical value. What looks on the surface to be reasonable levels of Iron, when investigated fully, showed me as being anemic due to low Iron. So today I started a pharmacy only supplement of super-powered Iron tablets. I'm hoping these make a big difference to how I feel day to day.
I'm impatient now for the extra steak and the supplements to kick in and give me a pick-me-up, but tonight's bloggy message is to believe in yourself, listen to your body and intuition and don't give up when faced with a setback in what you believe. I could have spent my winter (or part of it) in glorious European summertime, watching Bruce Springsteen perform if I had acted on my instinct and started taking Iron supplements in April instead of waiting for doctors to finally order a fully investigative set of tests and for those results to prove to them what I knew four months ago!
I've got my fingers crossed that restoring a healthy Iron level brings me back to normal energy levels, and moods.
Way back in early April I visited my doctor. "I think I'm low in Iron." I told him. At this point, what I'm learning now in hindsight, I should have stuck to my guns and listened to my body. It would have saved me months of feeling less than wonderful. Instead I listened to a lovely, calm rational explanation from a man quoting a text book about why I should not be low in Iron. Including reassuring me that my recent blood test results that showed a healthy haemoglobin level.
One of the things that can happen when you exercise (and breastfeed) is that your Iron stores get depleted. Or you don't absorb it as well. Something happens, I've read it on the net :) Increasing exercise can equate to decreased Iron. Which is fine if you treat it straight away.
If you don't, the symptoms you can suffer with (and I did) include:
- fatigue
- mental fatigue (vague, memory loss)
- dizziness
- poor concentration
- hair loss
- irritability
- headache
- irregular heart rhythms
http://www.webmd.com/a-to-z-guides/iron-deficiency-anemia-topic-overview
http://www.nhlbi.nih.gov/health/health-topics/topics/ida/signs.html
http://bodyandhealth.canada.com/condition_info_details.asp?disease_id=274
So although it is still possible, given my family history, that I'm menopausal, all of the symptoms above may also be related only to my Iron deficiency. Which was only picked up after a second doctor sent me for an "Iron Studies" blood test (also known as Anemia Studies). This brilliant site explains the difference nicely, stating that Serum Iron has little clinical value. What looks on the surface to be reasonable levels of Iron, when investigated fully, showed me as being anemic due to low Iron. So today I started a pharmacy only supplement of super-powered Iron tablets. I'm hoping these make a big difference to how I feel day to day.
I'm impatient now for the extra steak and the supplements to kick in and give me a pick-me-up, but tonight's bloggy message is to believe in yourself, listen to your body and intuition and don't give up when faced with a setback in what you believe. I could have spent my winter (or part of it) in glorious European summertime, watching Bruce Springsteen perform if I had acted on my instinct and started taking Iron supplements in April instead of waiting for doctors to finally order a fully investigative set of tests and for those results to prove to them what I knew four months ago!
I've got my fingers crossed that restoring a healthy Iron level brings me back to normal energy levels, and moods.
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