After posting my holiday jigsaw pic on twitter, it occurred to me that Organising Energy has a considerable image problem, namely that it potentially seems totally disorganised! Although I'm the first to agree that my blogs and tweets lack cohesion or structure, in their own way they remain true to the theme and intention of the purpose of my creating this blog and twitter account.
Organising Energy was born from my desperate desire to have a home that was less cluttered; however right from the beginning I realised that the concept of cluttered living wasn't as simple as having a bit of a clean out. My research and experience in my home had already showed me that my state of mind and health have a significant impact on how effectively I kept clutter at bay on a day to day basis. So health, attitude, wellness of mind all become part of the complexity. As I discover more about all thee facets of living I find that mental and emotional clutter impact on the state of energy - so much depends on a healthy mind and body!
Which leads me to the most rewarding discovery of 2013 - the incredible power of music. Both my husband and I rediscovered the positive energy created by enjoyment of live music. Live music, and indeed other events that bring together humanity in a shared experience (footy grand finals, tai chi) serve a purpose in emotional regulation and spiritual refreshment.
I'm writing this piece now in 2016, three years later, due to an extended period of distraction in my life. The concept of 'organising energy' for me has not changed; it remains about the holistic reality of mind, spirit, body and physical environment coming together as the energy of my life. I've been carrying on with these principles to varying extents in the past couple of years and the truism remains. One needs to regulate all aspects regularly to make progress.
So that is why my 'organising energy' can cover such a wide range of topics. The physical project for me is to live in a less cluttered, more aesthetically pleasing home, however the journey to that is not one that involves holding items to check for 'joy', or 'becoming minimalist'.
I hope you are interested in following along that journey as I pick up blogging again.
Saturday, February 18, 2017
Tuesday, January 5, 2016
Happiness has at least 15 steps?
I was recently linked this article on facebook. It struck me as such a truth that I needed to save it where I could find it again. I am also quite impressed that it was the final prompt to re-open this blog. Leaving it there for now.
Tuesday, March 10, 2015
The Big Routine - Part 2 only took 2 years!
I amuse myself. Someone has got to be finding this funny. I decided to trawl back through anniversary posts - somewhat in disbelief that I've been blogging for 2 years! Around this time two years ago, this was the post I came up with:
The Big Routine - What do I need?
Vegetable gardening week has thus far been an abyssmal flop. I did have one day of planting, and managed to acquire some cuttings of Nasturtium, that are excellent for keeping away pests. So instead of updating on the nonexistent veggie progress, I’m taking sometime out to review my month’s blogging to see what kind of routines that have been on my mind. Hopefully it will give me some idea of a daily cleaning routine that I can then experiment with next week.
A personalised summary of routine cleaning and organising from previous blogs shows the features my cleaning routine needs to have:
How to apply these criteria is coming up in part 2 of the big routine!
A personalised summary of routine cleaning and organising from previous blogs shows the features my cleaning routine needs to have:
1. Using the electronic diary in the phone for all family commitments works
2. I like to make cleaning fun, with games, aps and fun sounding things like 27 fling boogie.
3. I can’t clean ‘all the things’ at night late, it leads to insomnia!
4. Focussing on one area a week works well to remind me to prioritise cleaning
5. It would be beneficial to have regular visitors to keep a level of cleaning frenzy going
6. Whenever possible, always leave every room brighter (eg pickup rubbish/junk) throughout every day
7. Regularly cleanout the fridge before bin day, pay bills as soon as they arrive (I’ve had some disappear into the paper piles!), upload pictures at least monthly, send greetings quarterly.
8. Spend at least 2 hours everyday on cleaning until the chaos is controlled.
9. Have 2 days in a row alone in the house to clean every fortnight at least, again until it is controlled.
10. Keep on top of my teeth and hair care to keep me feeling presentable to the world
11. Make effort to have some ‘emergency’ supplies to be prepared for changes.
I find it incredibly funny and interesting to read this post. Some of these realisations have been such important mainstays in my life during the past two years, and others I am highly amused at the wishful thinking involved!
1. Using the electronic diary in my phone - this was a terrific thing, although I'm a feel it see it kind of person, so I reverted in 2014 to a funky paper diary that was heavy and annoying but didn't break when it was dropped. Right now I'm struggling by with day-to-day keeping it in my head, but I'm starting to fondly think of a diary system. I'm even considering giving all 3 children their own diary as my eldest's previous school did this from Prep and to be honest I think it teaches some excellent skills. You've got to remember what you're doing somehow.
2. Making cleaning fun - not only did I enjoy making cleaning fun, but it is an excellent way to rope in the children. We now have weekend competitions to go up cleaning 'levels' and I still occasionally use apps like "Unfuck my Habitat" and "Chore Wars". I constantly make a game out of small tasks that I ask the children to do and I have recently become very reliant on "27 Fling Boogie" by the Fly Lady.
3. Housework induced insomnia - still a real threat to my sanity. I rarely do any housework after 9pm, despite the need.
4. Focussing on one area and doing the cha cha at the same time - nope, that isn't happening. What is happening is that I do try to balance between de-junking or a deeper cleaning project and keeping on top of the laundry and dishwashing mountains. I don't take the concept of such balance very seriously.
5. Regular visitors - irregularly this is happening. In fact this is one area where it would be entirely sensible for me to make an effort. Life has happened. It is true that regardless of how I want my house clean and tidy for me, it is always easier when there are visitors coming to move more quickly. This is especially true for hubby who will do amazing things like mop the floor if he knows a baby is coming to visit.
6. Pick up as I go along or 'leave it brighter' - this is incredibly powerful in my opinion. It is something that can be done a little, or a lot. I do it a little :P
7. looking back at this, I see number 7 as "Do ALL THE THINGS!", reminding me of the hilarious blog post about why the writer will never be an adult. Breaking 7 down into its considerable parts....
- cleanout fridge before bin day - this is a great concept that is often implemented, yahoo!
- pay bills as soon as they arrive - *choke* what was I thinking? OK it is good in theory....
- upload pictures monthly - oh wow, what utopia was this I was dreaming of? In good news, what I have achieved is filing them according to the year and month they were taken. That is something.
- send greetings - obviously once this was written I immediately took to the idea that it was the thought that counted. I'd be lucky to have sent greetings at all in the last 2 years, let alone quarterly.
8&9. From the same concept as number 4 I am simply not that kind of person who sticks to set chunks of anything. I don't even stick to blogging very well. While a very nice idea, right now I'd be happy to have a weekend alone in the house to tear through some things.
10. Teeth and hair care - we have charts in this house. This is what they are for.
11. Emergency supplies and preparation. Actually I'm doing well at this. It makes the whole household run more smoothly.
And now I'm out of time for blogging and reflection. It was an amusing look back.
There is no big routine, only many many small ones!
Monday, March 9, 2015
international women's day
I spent international women's day mostly contemplating domesticity - how I spend much of every day! Interestingly this year I also spent the evening driving to Brisbane to see Jake Clemons with my good friend. While I was there, enjoying Jake's soulful performance I was still contemplating things on the home front. Jake's music leads itself to such introspection as he pauses during one song to remind us that the answers are inside of ourselves.
One of the hardest lessons that I am still struggling with is that you cannot change others, always the only changes you can make are within you.
So on international women's day, what is it that I want to change in myself that will improve things for myself and my daughters?
Typing while waiting for my child at school in a rare moment of "spare" time I am struck by how many things I juggle at the moment - and how likely it is that many women experience similar levels of "juggling all the things" at least the soundtrack right now is relaxing "I come from the Land Down Under" that the children are dancing to.
Of all the roles I have at the moment the one I have resolved to improve on international women's day is that of wife. I've been concentrating on being a daughter and a mother for so many years that being a wife has taken a backseat.
Given that I'm juggling a gazillion things right now with family and household madness, my resolution is simple, despite finding a plethora of well-meaning advice of the subject of relationships. I resolve to simply remember how much my husband devoted his time to supporting my Dad in the past few years. When my Dad needed an ambulance, he would call, when he needed an urgent doctor's script, he would arrange it. When Dad needed someone to stay with him overnight to make sure his oxygen stayed on while recovering from pneumonia, he would stay with him. He helped my Dad with all aspects of living, and was so deeply involved in his daily care.
So my IWD resolution this year is to remember the kindnesses that my husband gave my Dad. I'll be remembering it when I disagree with his parenting, when I am picking up his clothes off the floor, when I am cranky that he 'forgot' to do a chore I asked him to help with, or when he's been home all day and not done the washing up. I'll make my decisions from a place of love, not a place of fear.
I don't feel 'feminist' about this resolution, but I do feel very 'humanist'; that teaching girls to be strong is more about openly communicating about the challenges faced as a woman than demanding things from an individual than they may not be willing or capable of giving.
One of the hardest lessons that I am still struggling with is that you cannot change others, always the only changes you can make are within you.
So on international women's day, what is it that I want to change in myself that will improve things for myself and my daughters?
Typing while waiting for my child at school in a rare moment of "spare" time I am struck by how many things I juggle at the moment - and how likely it is that many women experience similar levels of "juggling all the things" at least the soundtrack right now is relaxing "I come from the Land Down Under" that the children are dancing to.
Of all the roles I have at the moment the one I have resolved to improve on international women's day is that of wife. I've been concentrating on being a daughter and a mother for so many years that being a wife has taken a backseat.
Given that I'm juggling a gazillion things right now with family and household madness, my resolution is simple, despite finding a plethora of well-meaning advice of the subject of relationships. I resolve to simply remember how much my husband devoted his time to supporting my Dad in the past few years. When my Dad needed an ambulance, he would call, when he needed an urgent doctor's script, he would arrange it. When Dad needed someone to stay with him overnight to make sure his oxygen stayed on while recovering from pneumonia, he would stay with him. He helped my Dad with all aspects of living, and was so deeply involved in his daily care.
So my IWD resolution this year is to remember the kindnesses that my husband gave my Dad. I'll be remembering it when I disagree with his parenting, when I am picking up his clothes off the floor, when I am cranky that he 'forgot' to do a chore I asked him to help with, or when he's been home all day and not done the washing up. I'll make my decisions from a place of love, not a place of fear.
I don't feel 'feminist' about this resolution, but I do feel very 'humanist'; that teaching girls to be strong is more about openly communicating about the challenges faced as a woman than demanding things from an individual than they may not be willing or capable of giving.
Friday, March 6, 2015
A thank you for Jake Clemons
As I lie beside my restless little person, listening to the storm outside thinking about bringing us some rain I'm reminded of an August night last year, driving into Brisbane to the Old Museum Building in gentle misty rain to discover a little about Jake Clemons' music.
That day I remember being pleasantly surprised by not only the mastery he has with voice and instruments alike, but how much the lyrics resonated with me, as did Jake's anecdotes about his journey to particular songs.
I've been excited about revisiting Jake's music since the Solbar wS announced as his tour start venue, so close to home for me!! So much has passed since last August and I badly needed the time out that music brings.
The set did not disappoint - all my favourites and some new favourites now too!
We had a blast trying to make saxophone music as requested and I surprised myself at keeping a beat for at least half of one song!!!
I was in awe of how a song about saying goodbye as a musician on the road can also hold true for the fraction of time and light that dementia allows you into someone's life - so often I was saying goodbye to Dad minutes after arriving to see him :(
I love Song for Hope, "a little hope will go a long way" such a simple concept but woven so cleverly into the complexity of human emotion and striking to the centre of human experience - I've spent the last few years living in that space, making the little hope stretch. Thank you for writing this song Jake!!!!
By the time Jake had finished introducing "bittersweet" I was already emotional at the parallels between his stories and my own. I think I spent a great deal of that particular song feeling all the feelings!
This was a particularly poignant set for me, a cleansing of the emotions and spirit, thank you Jake, you were such a gentleman tonight and I'm sure we all appreciated what a special night we were treated to!!!
Have a wonderful not at all bittersweet tour!
That day I remember being pleasantly surprised by not only the mastery he has with voice and instruments alike, but how much the lyrics resonated with me, as did Jake's anecdotes about his journey to particular songs.
I've been excited about revisiting Jake's music since the Solbar wS announced as his tour start venue, so close to home for me!! So much has passed since last August and I badly needed the time out that music brings.
The set did not disappoint - all my favourites and some new favourites now too!
We had a blast trying to make saxophone music as requested and I surprised myself at keeping a beat for at least half of one song!!!
I was in awe of how a song about saying goodbye as a musician on the road can also hold true for the fraction of time and light that dementia allows you into someone's life - so often I was saying goodbye to Dad minutes after arriving to see him :(
I love Song for Hope, "a little hope will go a long way" such a simple concept but woven so cleverly into the complexity of human emotion and striking to the centre of human experience - I've spent the last few years living in that space, making the little hope stretch. Thank you for writing this song Jake!!!!
By the time Jake had finished introducing "bittersweet" I was already emotional at the parallels between his stories and my own. I think I spent a great deal of that particular song feeling all the feelings!
This was a particularly poignant set for me, a cleansing of the emotions and spirit, thank you Jake, you were such a gentleman tonight and I'm sure we all appreciated what a special night we were treated to!!!
Have a wonderful not at all bittersweet tour!
Thursday, December 11, 2014
What gets me through
So life is a lot different now. In so many many ways. Some of which I discussed in my last post. Many of which I haven't yet even identified, Dad was such an integral part of who I am, and certainly who I became in the last two years.
We had a terrible thing happen to one of our children three weeks after Dad's death. That taught me the humility of being in shock, and the formidable-ness of being a parent, protecting and empowering my child whilst falling apart myself. It also gave me reason to be grateful for the kind souls who have helped me through those weeks since.
people who help
In this instance, as with other moments of extreme need, it has been a few reliable dear friends, and some very considerate far-away friends, and even near-strangers who have made an effort to reach out to me in my need. Thank you, beautiful women.
giving the problem to a higher power
I've also had opportunity to really consider what it means to give away the problems to a higher power. I never considered that 'higher power' could be metaphorically simply 'giving away' the problem to my GP for instance. However on Sunday, that is exactly what happened. I informed my GP that since my child's traumatic event I was not coping so well, and no sooner had that problem been passed to him, and I felt better. I don't think this would be everyone's recipe for 'higher power' as not everyone has a GP they've known since they were 12, with the integrity and practicality of mine! However on the subject of higher powers, I realise too, that in a sense, I would actually take my life and its problems to my Dad on a regular basis. I never troubled Dad with commentary on my challenges, but rather in our quiet silences, or in our contemplation of the deep red Azaleas in the garden I believe I was in the habit of quietly unpacking and dumping my problems out, in some of of ritual of my own, involving an appreciation of the perspective that if Dad could cope under the terrible conditions of a nursing home and be pleased about anything at all, then my whole life and its problems couldn't possibly be insurmountable. (even if they were!)
savouring the positive moments
Today I was really struggling at one point. Then I really looked at what I had. My two happy children frolicking in the pool in dappled sunlight, a perfect summer's day. And I thought on that and felt grateful for that until I truly did feel blessed to witness such calm, unfettered peace. I need to continue to take the time to appreciate everything I can.
routines are my friend
I am sticking with existing routines and making new ones! I'm still doing Tai Chi and now I've discovered that a weekly trip to the movies does wonders that I can't live without at the moment.
feeling the 'Dadness'
One of the things that really helped me to feel that blessed sense of happiness was that I made myself see the picture with Dad's eyes. He would have laughed and been delighted at the kids playing, and he would have said to me "Don't worry about all that other nonsense, you'll be all right" I'm blessed to have the opportunity to learn from him, even after he has passed.
feeling the pain
It is easy to try to 'cope' to push aside indignity and pain. Sometimes it is necessary for getting by. But feeling the pain and hurt and sorrow is also vital to being a whole person. Today after an extremely confronting correspondence from my child's school I was brought to tears during a business phone call. And I owned it, that was my pain and sorrow and it wasn't going to be held in at that point, because it was part of who I am. There are some times when crying might not be a great idea, but also sometimes when it is ok to cry regardless of the circumstances.
change my thinking not solving the problem
I read this in a meme today. It absolutely sums up all of the above and more. It is only by perceiving things differently that I will get through this period in my life in a way that leaves me healthier than coming into it.
Be kind and loving. (a reminder for myself and an idea to contemplate)
We had a terrible thing happen to one of our children three weeks after Dad's death. That taught me the humility of being in shock, and the formidable-ness of being a parent, protecting and empowering my child whilst falling apart myself. It also gave me reason to be grateful for the kind souls who have helped me through those weeks since.
people who help
In this instance, as with other moments of extreme need, it has been a few reliable dear friends, and some very considerate far-away friends, and even near-strangers who have made an effort to reach out to me in my need. Thank you, beautiful women.
giving the problem to a higher power
I've also had opportunity to really consider what it means to give away the problems to a higher power. I never considered that 'higher power' could be metaphorically simply 'giving away' the problem to my GP for instance. However on Sunday, that is exactly what happened. I informed my GP that since my child's traumatic event I was not coping so well, and no sooner had that problem been passed to him, and I felt better. I don't think this would be everyone's recipe for 'higher power' as not everyone has a GP they've known since they were 12, with the integrity and practicality of mine! However on the subject of higher powers, I realise too, that in a sense, I would actually take my life and its problems to my Dad on a regular basis. I never troubled Dad with commentary on my challenges, but rather in our quiet silences, or in our contemplation of the deep red Azaleas in the garden I believe I was in the habit of quietly unpacking and dumping my problems out, in some of of ritual of my own, involving an appreciation of the perspective that if Dad could cope under the terrible conditions of a nursing home and be pleased about anything at all, then my whole life and its problems couldn't possibly be insurmountable. (even if they were!)
savouring the positive moments
Today I was really struggling at one point. Then I really looked at what I had. My two happy children frolicking in the pool in dappled sunlight, a perfect summer's day. And I thought on that and felt grateful for that until I truly did feel blessed to witness such calm, unfettered peace. I need to continue to take the time to appreciate everything I can.
routines are my friend
I am sticking with existing routines and making new ones! I'm still doing Tai Chi and now I've discovered that a weekly trip to the movies does wonders that I can't live without at the moment.
feeling the 'Dadness'
One of the things that really helped me to feel that blessed sense of happiness was that I made myself see the picture with Dad's eyes. He would have laughed and been delighted at the kids playing, and he would have said to me "Don't worry about all that other nonsense, you'll be all right" I'm blessed to have the opportunity to learn from him, even after he has passed.
feeling the pain
It is easy to try to 'cope' to push aside indignity and pain. Sometimes it is necessary for getting by. But feeling the pain and hurt and sorrow is also vital to being a whole person. Today after an extremely confronting correspondence from my child's school I was brought to tears during a business phone call. And I owned it, that was my pain and sorrow and it wasn't going to be held in at that point, because it was part of who I am. There are some times when crying might not be a great idea, but also sometimes when it is ok to cry regardless of the circumstances.
change my thinking not solving the problem
I read this in a meme today. It absolutely sums up all of the above and more. It is only by perceiving things differently that I will get through this period in my life in a way that leaves me healthier than coming into it.
Be kind and loving. (a reminder for myself and an idea to contemplate)
Monday, November 17, 2014
7 of the Ways my Dad improved my life
As usual, I have only a limited amount of time to write this blog. Today I have been particularly mindful of the many myriad of ways that through his illness and final years, my father had an incredible influence on my life.
I have been really struggling since his death and needed to write this list in order to begin a journey of regrouping my strengths. At the moment I'm suffering a loss that belies the frail old man who was dependent on others. These are seven of the reasons why my loss is so great, just some of the ways he improved my life:
1. Gratitude - witnessing Dad living in a nursing home, reliant on the courtesy (or lack of it) from other people, relying on their gentleness (or lack thereof), and dependent on them wholly due to his dementia in ways that we can only be horrified at was exhausting emotionally. In order to cope with the sadness of bearing witness to the circumstances it was absolutely necessary to become grateful. Grateful every day that I could help him, give him dignity or something to look forward to; grateful for every day that a 'good' carer was on that he was receiving better treatment that day; grateful that the 'bad' staff were only on for a shift and then would be gone again. Gratitude improves longevity, so learning the lesson of daily gratitude through Dad was incredible.
2. Acceptance - As Dad declined in health both mentally and physically, he never ever lost his will to live or his enjoyment of what life he had left in him. As each new indignity of ageing took over his daily life, he accepted it with grace (mostly) and continued to turn instead towards that which made him happy. He lived for his grandchildren's visits, for my visits, to see the sunshine and flowers, and to kiss the hand of his caring staff. He lived for sausages, and other enjoyed foods, and for the smile of a warm person. He taught me that life is about flowers and family and if you can't have either, just find something and enjoy whatever you can. Bless him for that incredible lifelong lesson I hope to pass along to my children.
3. Strength of mind - nothing creates a need for strength of mind like having to find a way to overcome the gulf between wishing to provide total assistance and dignified care to your loved one, and the reality of there being very little you can actually control. Dad's situation taught me to create my own boundaries around my expectations and actions. He taught me that if I could only help him once a week, that was better than not helping. Acceptance is a key part of having the strength of mind to decisively think positive instead of despairing, I had to learn to accept that what I did had to be enough simply by telling myself that it was.
4. Boundaries - When someone is in a nursing home or hospital, they are in 'their' world, swallowed up within the systems and rules created by those large institutions. Learning to navigate the systems first step was to follow the unwritten rules and boundaries. I now know how to look for these in so many areas of life.
5. Communication - Dad's illness taught me so much about humanity. How to get onto his level and communicate with him, as well as how to negotiate and advocate for him. I had plenty of help from some of the kind people in the system, but without Dad I would never have persevered with learning so much about communication, how to find one key point and focus on that, how to not bombard people with everything you want to say, so many things.
6. Patience - waiting for a doctor for 3 hours is a very effective way to build up a head of steam, however it doesn't help anything. Likewise if a nurse isn't coming to a buzzer call fast enough. It helps to simply apply patience to them and get on with something else while you wait. In the case of more than one buzzer call I simply got on with fixing the problem as best I could myself, knowing they'd turn up eventually.
7. Determination - of the quiet kind. Dad simply didn't give up on walking, regardless of who gave up on him. If people unthinkingly were stupid enough to place him in a position from where walking proved impossible, he would simply get around by any other means he could muster, most of which were so ingenious that carers simply didn't believe his determination or intention. Many people under estimated my father, sadly to his detriment, however the determination he showed, right up until the end of his days will stay with me forever.
Thank you Dad for all you did for me, perhaps without knowing it. I believe though that you did know, and I hope you know how grateful I am for your amazing gifts. Without a father like you, determined and unwavering in your last years I would be poorer for the lack of experience. Love you Dad.
I have been really struggling since his death and needed to write this list in order to begin a journey of regrouping my strengths. At the moment I'm suffering a loss that belies the frail old man who was dependent on others. These are seven of the reasons why my loss is so great, just some of the ways he improved my life:
1. Gratitude - witnessing Dad living in a nursing home, reliant on the courtesy (or lack of it) from other people, relying on their gentleness (or lack thereof), and dependent on them wholly due to his dementia in ways that we can only be horrified at was exhausting emotionally. In order to cope with the sadness of bearing witness to the circumstances it was absolutely necessary to become grateful. Grateful every day that I could help him, give him dignity or something to look forward to; grateful for every day that a 'good' carer was on that he was receiving better treatment that day; grateful that the 'bad' staff were only on for a shift and then would be gone again. Gratitude improves longevity, so learning the lesson of daily gratitude through Dad was incredible.
2. Acceptance - As Dad declined in health both mentally and physically, he never ever lost his will to live or his enjoyment of what life he had left in him. As each new indignity of ageing took over his daily life, he accepted it with grace (mostly) and continued to turn instead towards that which made him happy. He lived for his grandchildren's visits, for my visits, to see the sunshine and flowers, and to kiss the hand of his caring staff. He lived for sausages, and other enjoyed foods, and for the smile of a warm person. He taught me that life is about flowers and family and if you can't have either, just find something and enjoy whatever you can. Bless him for that incredible lifelong lesson I hope to pass along to my children.
3. Strength of mind - nothing creates a need for strength of mind like having to find a way to overcome the gulf between wishing to provide total assistance and dignified care to your loved one, and the reality of there being very little you can actually control. Dad's situation taught me to create my own boundaries around my expectations and actions. He taught me that if I could only help him once a week, that was better than not helping. Acceptance is a key part of having the strength of mind to decisively think positive instead of despairing, I had to learn to accept that what I did had to be enough simply by telling myself that it was.
4. Boundaries - When someone is in a nursing home or hospital, they are in 'their' world, swallowed up within the systems and rules created by those large institutions. Learning to navigate the systems first step was to follow the unwritten rules and boundaries. I now know how to look for these in so many areas of life.
5. Communication - Dad's illness taught me so much about humanity. How to get onto his level and communicate with him, as well as how to negotiate and advocate for him. I had plenty of help from some of the kind people in the system, but without Dad I would never have persevered with learning so much about communication, how to find one key point and focus on that, how to not bombard people with everything you want to say, so many things.
6. Patience - waiting for a doctor for 3 hours is a very effective way to build up a head of steam, however it doesn't help anything. Likewise if a nurse isn't coming to a buzzer call fast enough. It helps to simply apply patience to them and get on with something else while you wait. In the case of more than one buzzer call I simply got on with fixing the problem as best I could myself, knowing they'd turn up eventually.
7. Determination - of the quiet kind. Dad simply didn't give up on walking, regardless of who gave up on him. If people unthinkingly were stupid enough to place him in a position from where walking proved impossible, he would simply get around by any other means he could muster, most of which were so ingenious that carers simply didn't believe his determination or intention. Many people under estimated my father, sadly to his detriment, however the determination he showed, right up until the end of his days will stay with me forever.
Thank you Dad for all you did for me, perhaps without knowing it. I believe though that you did know, and I hope you know how grateful I am for your amazing gifts. Without a father like you, determined and unwavering in your last years I would be poorer for the lack of experience. Love you Dad.
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