The Big Routine - Part 2 only took 2 years!

I amuse myself. Someone has got to be finding this funny.  I decided to trawl back through anniversary posts - somewhat in disbelief that I've been blogging for 2 years!   Around this time two years ago, this was the post I came up with:

The Big Routine - What do I need?

Vegetable gardening week has thus far been an abyssmal flop.  I did have one day of planting, and managed to acquire some cuttings of Nasturtium, that are excellent for keeping away pests.  So instead of updating on the nonexistent veggie progress, I’m taking sometime out to review my month’s blogging to see what kind of routines that have been on my mind.  Hopefully it will give me some idea of a daily cleaning routine that I can then experiment with next week.

A personalised summary of routine cleaning and organising from previous blogs shows the features my cleaning routine needs to have:

1.       Using the electronic diary in the phone for all family commitments works

2.       I like to make cleaning fun, with games, aps and fun sounding things like 27 fling boogie.

3.       I can’t clean ‘all the things’ at night late, it leads to insomnia!

4.       Focussing on one area a week works well to remind me to prioritise cleaning

5.       It would be beneficial to have regular visitors to keep a level of cleaning frenzy going

6.       Whenever possible, always leave every room brighter (eg pickup rubbish/junk) throughout every day

7.       Regularly cleanout the fridge before bin day, pay bills as soon as they arrive (I’ve had some disappear into the paper piles!), upload pictures at least monthly, send greetings quarterly.

8.       Spend at least 2 hours everyday on cleaning until the chaos is controlled.

9.       Have 2 days in a row alone in the house to clean every fortnight at least, again until it is controlled.

10.   Keep on top of my teeth and hair care to keep me feeling presentable to the world

11.   Make effort to have some ‘emergency’ supplies to be prepared for changes.

 How to apply these criteria is coming up in part 2 of the big routine!

I find it incredibly funny and interesting to read this post. Some of these realisations have been such important mainstays in my life during the past two years, and others I am highly amused at the wishful thinking involved!

1. Using the electronic diary in my phone - this was a terrific thing, although I'm a feel it see it kind of person, so I reverted in 2014 to a funky paper diary that was heavy and annoying but didn't break when it was dropped. Right now I'm struggling by with day-to-day keeping it in my head, but I'm starting to fondly think of a diary system. I'm even considering giving all 3 children their own diary as my eldest's previous school did this from Prep and to be honest I think it teaches some excellent skills. You've got to remember what you're doing somehow.

2. Making cleaning fun - not only did I enjoy making cleaning fun, but it is an excellent way to rope in the children. We now have weekend competitions to go up cleaning 'levels' and I still occasionally use apps like "Unfuck my Habitat" and "Chore Wars". I constantly make a game out of small tasks that I ask the children to do and I have recently become very reliant on "27 Fling Boogie" by the Fly Lady.

3. Housework induced insomnia - still a real threat to my sanity. I rarely do any housework after 9pm, despite the need.

4. Focussing on one area and doing the cha cha at the same time - nope, that isn't happening. What is happening is that I do try to balance between de-junking or a deeper cleaning project and keeping on top of the laundry and dishwashing mountains. I don't take the concept of such balance very seriously.

5. Regular visitors - irregularly this is happening. In fact this is one area where it would be entirely sensible for me to make an effort. Life has happened. It is true that regardless of how I want my house clean and tidy for me, it is always easier when there are visitors coming to move more quickly. This is especially true for hubby who will do amazing things like mop the floor if he knows a baby is coming to visit. 

6. Pick up as I go along or 'leave it brighter' - this is incredibly powerful in my opinion. It is something that can be done a little, or a lot. I do it a little :P

7. looking back at this, I see number 7 as "Do ALL THE THINGS!", reminding me of the hilarious blog post about why the writer will never be an adult.  Breaking 7 down into its considerable parts....

• cleanout fridge before bin day - this is a great concept that is often implemented, yahoo!
• pay bills as soon as they arrive - *choke* what was I thinking? OK it is good in theory....
• upload pictures monthly - oh wow, what utopia was this I was dreaming of? In good news, what I have achieved is filing them according to the year and month they were taken. That is something.
• send greetings - obviously once this was written I immediately took to the idea that it was the thought that counted. I'd be lucky to have sent greetings at all in the last 2 years, let alone quarterly. 

8&9. From the same concept as number 4 I am simply not that kind of person who sticks to set chunks of anything. I don't even stick to blogging very well. While a very nice idea, right now I'd be happy to have a weekend alone in the house to tear through some things.

10.  Teeth and hair care - we have charts in this house. This is what they are for. 

11. Emergency supplies and preparation. Actually I'm doing well at this. It makes the whole household run more smoothly.   

And now I'm out of time for blogging and reflection. It was an amusing look back.  

There is no big routine, only many many small ones!

international women's day

I spent international women's day mostly contemplating domesticity - how I spend much of every day!  Interestingly this year I also spent the evening driving to Brisbane to see Jake Clemons with my good friend. While I was there, enjoying Jake's soulful performance I was still contemplating things on the home front. Jake's music leads itself to such introspection as he pauses during one song to remind us that the answers are inside of ourselves.

One of the hardest lessons that I am still struggling with is that you cannot change others, always the only changes you can make are within you.

So on international women's day, what is it that I want to change in myself that will improve things for myself and my daughters?

Typing while waiting for my child at school in a rare moment of "spare" time I am struck by how many things I juggle at the moment - and how likely it is that  many women experience similar levels of "juggling all the things"  at least the soundtrack right now is relaxing "I come from the Land Down Under" that the children are dancing to. 

Of all the roles I have at the moment the one I have resolved to improve on international women's day is that of wife. I've been concentrating on being a daughter and a mother for so many years that being a wife has taken a backseat.

Given that I'm juggling a gazillion things right now with family and household madness, my resolution is simple, despite finding a plethora of well-meaning advice of the subject of relationships.  I resolve to simply remember how much my husband devoted his time to supporting my Dad in the past few years. When my Dad needed an ambulance, he would call, when he needed an urgent doctor's script, he would arrange it. When Dad needed someone to stay with him overnight to make sure his oxygen stayed on while recovering from pneumonia, he would stay with him. He helped my Dad with all aspects of living, and was so deeply involved in his daily care.

So my IWD resolution this year is to remember the kindnesses that my husband gave my Dad.  I'll be remembering it when I disagree with his parenting, when I am picking up his clothes off the floor, when I am cranky that he 'forgot' to do a chore I asked him to help with, or when he's been home all day and not done the washing up.  I'll make my decisions from a place of love, not a place of fear.

I don't feel 'feminist' about this resolution, but I do feel very 'humanist'; that teaching girls to be strong is more about openly communicating about the challenges faced as a woman than demanding things from an individual than they may not be willing or capable of giving.  

Why I wish I hadn't done Bruce in Brisbane

I've reached a certain point now, where at this very moment, I simply wish I had not attended the Brisbane concert at all. Would I be jealous of those who had? Probably yes, especially as almost all the people I know raved about it. However the concert they experienced, was not the same one I attended. For me, the Brisbane concert was the one that quite simply, went wrong. It summed up all that was crappy and shit on the tour of Australia, and did nothing at all to uplift me as every other Springsteen concert has done. 

My reasons why are:

1. Poor queue preparation / outcomes / moods
I really don't think I have the mindset required to enjoy queuing. I hate waiting for one thing. I also hate wasting time, and tension. Queues are filled with all of that and more.  But the Brisbane queue was especially crap, as one of my friends arrived first, then told other people, then they said 'just go home till tomorrow' and then the 2nd group of people turned up, apparently took over number 1&2 spot from 2 other people and then eventually because I was parked in my car with nothing else to do for the afternoon I ended up getting number 9 & 10 spot with my daughter. This soon turned into 7 & 8 when two people dropped out. This should have made us happy, but because of the tension (I assume from the above confusion between everyone with a higher number than us) it just made me uncomfortable. I was alone with my girl with a very good number but with no immediate prospect of being near any friendly faces who would assist me in ensuring my girl's safety in the pit.  I didn't really want to have such low numbers with her, without also having along another adult beside us who was as committed to safety as I was.  This tension stayed with me for the 3 days of queuing. 

2. My beautiful daughter. 
Who convinced me to do just one more show.  I do not regret taking her, not a bit, but there were many moments when I questioned my decisions & hers.  We had a pact that because she was going to be at the front, no sooking or getting tired (she had managed 2 concerts already in fine form so I didn't foresee how this could happen!) What I didn't think ahead to was what I would do if she couldn't keep her side of the bargain (nobody is perfect!) I should have had a plan B!!!! So what went wrong?  Quite a bit. Because we now had tour shirts post-Sydney, and the ladies in the Brisvegas Bruce house were dressing up, she wanted to join into that fun. Great, except that her previous concert attire was far more suited to long hours standing in a sweat box! She went from very cool loose summer clothes to leggings and a hot Born in the USA T-Shirt in the hope of getting onstage for Sunny Day, the song Bruce always sings with a child from the audience. We also ended up in a group of people who did not approve of her presence in the audience, and were not afraid to say so. We were blessed by one lovely lady who stood her ground behind my daughter and protected her from the worst shoving crowd I've experienced at Springsteen (another thing that went wrong with having brought her along to this particular concert) But there's more. The heat. It was worse than Adelaide, which was bad enough that a woman fainted with heatstroke beside us. So much hotter. And my 9 year old was wearing her hot leggings and t-shirt. So she really wasn't having fun. And it showed to everyone that she was melting, although I was slow to catch on, and only realised towards the end of the encores that she really was feeling the heat, and not just hating the music.  Which is the final disaster in her experience (well almost). So the Wild, The Innocent and the E Street Shuffle did not appeal to her. She wanted the Rock n Roll Bruce show. Hunter Valley 1 would have been right up her alleyway. Brisbane was not. How much of this was affected by the loud shouting directly at her that "she shouldn't even be here anyway" during the opening song I don't know.

I feel better for having vented. There are other, small things that upset me about Brisbane. Some not so small. Despite all this negative writing, I am from this point on going to always focus on the positives I can take out of the experience of the show. These were:

1. Seeing my friend's eyes light up at hearing the sound check played, and not long later at hearing her favourite song "Does this Bus Stop at 82nd Street?"

2. Seeing a lovely young woman in happy tears on her Birthday after meeting Bruce and speaking with him after the concert. 

3. Seeing Gary Tallent with a Tuba  (that's a poor picture of it there! But so funny :)




















4. Remembering all the good times I'd had through the whole tour, and the people who made the experience so special. 

And now I'm done. I can look back on this and laugh, as Garfield has said in cartoons past about terrible mishaps.  

This entire post was inspired by reading 7 Ways to Let go of Insults from an A*Hole 

Sliding Backwards - weight gain and forgetting the 'no excuses' concept

I've gone from a record low weight to an incredibly high weight, coming almost full circle in the 11 months between Springsteen tours.

This led me to google 'backsliding' - which I never knew was mostly used in relation to Christianity and religion!  However some careful google tweaking and I discovered this wonderful insightful article about weight loss.

The Fat Lady Ain't Sung Yet in which Whitney points out the following truism:

"Baby steps.

Forever and ever and ever… baby steps."

I love the insight in this. When things are going well, it is easy to kid yourself that the journey to no-excuses better health will be a one-way trip to forever losing weight until the magical moment that it is 'perfect'. Reality is that there are always things to learn, and if you don't learn them, then the process might be a bit more topsy-turvy. In fact even if you're a fast learner, circumstances can squish in and sideline you with no warning.  So baby steps.

I know that for me, since the second Springsteen tour, I have been focussing on big life changes, the ones that I didn't tackle last year, because last year I was focussing solely on weight loss, exercise and fitness.  It is so much easier to increase exercise, and much harder to permanently change eating habits for an entire family (or even one person within the family). Last year's efforts were child's play. This year asks so much more of me in terms of organisation, willpower and action.  Going for a walk or exercising is as easy as walking out the front door.  Food on the other hand doesn't just appear in the fridge!

The other thing that happened is that I lost my 'network' of fitness friends, and therefore no-one noticed when I stopped exercising, or talking about the healthy food choices I was making. So I've re-established a connection to the four main exercising / food friends I have and we are keeping an eye on each other. I'm posting updates in my "Get Fit for Bruce" Facebook group.  Keeping that social aspect alive will help safeguard me from future weight gains.

And finally, my habits that create a healthy, organised me.  Blogging, gratitude and keep records through RunKeeper and MyFitnessPal.  Of these, only gratitude survived the great weight gain. If I had to keep only one I'm glad it was gratitude, however now is the time to reinstate my previous habits and keep connected with the world in a reflective way, so I remind myself to always be mindful.  No-one else is ever going to be as mindful of my body and my health as I am.

Such an important lesson in taking good care of ones-self.

So far so good

It has been a long, successful time between blogging. This time of year tends to descend into chaotic disaster and misery, so for me to sit here, on my child's birthday, breathing a sigh of relief at having gotten through one party and two actual birthdays without too many tears and frustration (on my part) is a significant achievement.

I credit this amazing change to the blogging experience, bolstered by the Springsteen & ESB experience and in part the culmination of the efforts I've been making for a few years now to reorganise my life to reduce the stress, chaos and improve calm and happiness.

I've come out of this with a few realisations and tips:

1. When your life is hectic take a look at local venues that do children's parties. With a bit of negotiating it is surprisingly possible to have a no-fuss party that caters to your own needs and for which you do zero preparation (well I made a cake), yet spend no more than you would for a party at home!
2. Don't take people's comments on board. If they offer to help, believe it after you are wishing them a thankful goodbye, anything before that is not guaranteed to happen and can lead to disappointment. Along this same vein, if someone is critical, take it as a reflection of them, not you. The negative energy isn't yours.
3. Slow down. The busier life is, the more you need to slow down and take things one at a time. This has really worked for me in the last few weeks, and I hope it continues to keep me functioning until this busy time of year is finished. I don't think about what isn't in my immediate future, I don't worry about anything but what I'm doing next. The rest will eventually take care of itself or become the 'next thing' in its turn.

I've thoroughly enjoyed my part in the children's birthday's this year and am grateful for the learning experiences that have helped me to put it all into perspective. Making this cake was the relaxing, enjoyable event that it used to be years ago. I'm grateful for learning the tips above so that all I had to concentrate on for the party was the simplicity of this fun cake.
 

Sugar Sugar ... Bad news for me!

This is a really short post to make note of my recent, self-pitying sugar indulgence.  I'd say I've been really getting into the sugary food for about 4 days, but it did all start 2 weeks ago, being the only mud cake eater in my house devouring birthday cake slowly but surely after my girl's party.

I'm currently having a decent wallow in self-pity.  I'm feeling very burdened by family troubles (the ones I was born with, not my own gorgeous hubby and children); I'm feeling uncertain about my health, about finances and I'm feeling tired (yes that will be the anemia!)

I'm finding 80's music strangely extremely uplifting. I've always liked 80's but at the moment it is having an effect similar to Bruce Springsteen's magic of the past few months.

But I digress. I suspect much of the mood I'm currently in, given that in theory right now is a wonderful time hormonally speaking, can be squarely blamed on too much sugar.

I've followed a reasonable diet of little sugar up until the party, and have really only gone all out with poor choices like biccies and milk since this weekend.  

This quote from a random Google search result says it all doesn't it? 

"sugar consumption triggers a cascade of chemical reactions in your body that promote chronic inflammation. In the long term, inflammation disrupts the normal functioning of your immune system, and wreaks havoc on your brain."

And I've learned a new thing tonight that makes sense. Sugar apparently reduces your vitamin B. "these foods not only supply very little in the way of nutrients but they also use up the mood enhancing B vitamins"

Well there you go. So my recent awful diet has caused inflammation (bad in someone with auto-immune disease), but it has stolen my B vitamins.

This girl is going to take drastic action to fix this up, I'm tired of feeling low, and its only been a few days.

Rainbow Jelly Cups

Yes, that's it. Rainbow Jelly cups are the pinnacle of my life right now. (this could just be another way of saying that without seeing Bruce Springsteen and the band in Europe, life is meaningless!)

But back to the Jelly Cups and the strange things I am learning from them.

If I can just do this one hard thing, everything else will fall into place.
Firstly I'm learning that I have a wonky way of seeing myself.  I seem to think that if I can conquer rainbow jelly cups for my daughter's party, then somehow I will manage absolutely everything else.  Interesting in theory.

I'm busy doing this one hard thing and don't want to stop.
I'm also discovering that I'm obsessed with these jelly cups. I am having to stop myself from losing all perspective and force myself to attend to other party needs. Perhaps having lost the passion fruit jelly today, only to find it much later, and then discover that it isn't purple at all, its YELLOW. Not helpful when you're up to the "indigo and violet" end of the spectrum!  Having stalled in the jelly construction has at least given me time to continue the cleaning.  Which brings me to another party realisation.

Facing facts - I'm extrinsically motivated.
No matter how much I try to develop intrinsic motivation, or to appreciate whatever is intrinsic, the bottom line is I'm extremely extrinsically motivated. Excessively so even.  I'm finally having a party, my daughter's best friend is coming over for the first time, and I suddenly have the guts and wherewithal and all tools needed to tackle that dusty pile of messy stuff on top of the stereo.  In the past 2 years is there really a reason I couldn't have found this ability for myself?  Apparently not.  When I do things for myself the time frame is slower and infinitely more painful.  This extrinsic stuff really pumps my juices. Extrovert anyone?

And talented at layering cold fun stuff.
But wait, there's more to this blog and more realisations.  This one's a quirky one.   Apparently I'm good at making layered cold stuff.  I should try more of it, for the Mumma ego boosting qualities.  Logical reasons why layered cold stuff ought to be challenging are that you have to spend a prolonged period of time devoted to the construction, which also seems to involve technicalities around the exact timing versus what you're trying to achieve.  Apparently I kick arse at this.  So far my repertoire is rainbow jelly and frozen 'discovery' icebergs.

 

 

Just in case you desperately need to know -here's how to make Rainbow Jelly Cups. (pictured above minus the infuriatingly not present purple jelly)

 

How to make Rainbow Jelly Cups

1. Buy plastic cups and 2 packets each of red, yellow, green, blue and purple jelly.  My layers are uneven because of differing amounts of jelly. Plus if you stuff up its always good to have backup. You could also try simply buying orange jelly and sticking to one packet each. It depends whether you like the blended look between my red and yellow better than the neat layer between my yellow and blue.

 

2. Make up your red (or purple) jelly and pour into cups evenly. I made 12 cups from one packet of each, but I think I'll need 2 packets for the top layer as the blue is a little thin.

 

3. Wait for it to set.  If you are layering to blend colours, make up a new jelly (in mine I did red then yellow) and when it cools to just warm, pour over the red and refrigerate quickly. The red and yellow will blend to make orange. I then did a new layer of yellow.  If you are not blending colours, leave the new jelly to cool to room temperature and add to the layers in the cup.   Repeat for all colours.

 

or you could go to the source of my Jelly adventures at Pink and Green Mama and see if her version makes more sense :)

 

Its simple really isn't it?  I have taken 3 days to make these, but I'm in no hurry. While I'm making jelly I'm not worrying about the other million party preparations. Its supposed to be fun,right? Well apparently jelly cups are my idea of fun :)





Negativity and Affirmations

I've had a lesson today. A lesson in balance. While feeling utterly overwhelmed with the weight of negativity around me, I discussed this on my facebook wall with friends.  And after a bit of too-ing and fro-ing in the ensuing discussion, I posted this:

Tai Chi is perfect! It has soo many proven health benefits and I have to make a real effort now to actually do myself harm with it. Also I don't like to sit still, so I find holding yoga poses totally alien to my nature. On the other hand, Tai Chi is 'walking meditation' and its perfect :) Some days just area bit bodgier than others, I've had a few weeks of that with one thing and another and this has turned out to be a reaffirmation (I'm fast learning that reaffirming important things needs to be done over and over and over ad infinitum) of all the good things I know I need to keep up to stay healthy. Will my third finger remain arthritic? Geez I hope not but even if it does, I know if I keep up all the walking, tai chi, gratefulness etc then it won't really matter as it will get better when all that is going on. Really I'm just sooking about Bruce in Europe. HUGE first world problem.

What I've learnt is that I really must keep reaffirming my faith in myself. Reaffirming the importance of all the thing that are integral to my happiness and healthiness isn't something I need to do now and again. I need it daily, or as many times as its necessary to keep me as disease free as I was in April this year.

 

 

So even negativity serves a positive purpose, because when it creeps (or rushes) in, then its time to reaffirm the exercise, the Tai Chi, the gratefulness and the determination to live life and enjoy!  Its interesting how even the less exhilarating ride to the bottom of the ferris wheel can be filled with anticipation of the next exciting ascent to the top!  I missed out on the ferris wheel ride at this year's Agricultural Show, but I think I've been on my own personal wheel with great highs and deep dips!  Right now, according to my theory, I'm on my way back around the wheel, on an upsweep :)

Taking care of yourself - an epiphany.

I've had an epiphany. Not a very pleasant one, but an incredibly poignant light bulb moment. I'm sitting in my broken down car, on the side of the highway, waiting now for over half an hour for a row truck to collect myself and my disabled car in the pouring rain.

I have been watching European concerts for Bruce Springsteen with increasing agitation and envy  (check this link for why); what if this is his last tour? What if he stops touring and goes home to New Jersey for the next 2 years? These thoughts are what fuels my desperation to see him one more time, while I can.

And then there it was. My 'oh hell' moment, when I realised that had I argued more, or better, 10 years ago to have my frequent flyer points reinstated after they expired when my credit card company stopped automatic affiliation with the frequent flyer points, then I would have enough for my family to travel to Europe. (This happened in the traumatic year my mother got ill and died, so I was not paying attention to such things until it was too late).

What this is teaching me is that to not take care of something might seem to only have 'imaginary' consequences, the reality is that I am now sitting in THAT moment, where my much saved, loved points would have transported me from my suburban existence and taken my whole family on an amazing overseas holiday. My consequence for not sticking up for myself 10 years ago is right now, this very minute, realising that yes, that vague time in the future does come around! It's like when you are young the idea that smoking will ruin your health is a vague notion at best - some imaginary calamitous future disease - it does come to pass!

Here's my tow truck - the consequence of not paying attention to my car - now it's broken :(

Lesson for me? Take care of things, all the things. Just like my health, the whole of my life is my responsibility and there are consequences to doing a half hearted job.  I knew that eventually this new sense of self-actualisation regarding my health must begin to permeate the other facets of my life; however I'd always imagined that the transition would be more instantaneous, in the way that seeing Bruce Springsteen in concert instantly transformed my perspective on my responsibility for my own health well-being occurred overnight.  I had imagined that overnight I would have the exact same goal oriented, no-setback accepted, driven and calm resolve about decluttering my house.  This somewhat obscure little 'light bulb moment' that annoyingly seems to require me to find every distasteful incomplete or neglected task in my life and place it as a matter of priority is not what I imagined as the next logical progression of realising my life is wholly my responsibility to live in a happy way.  It may take some getting used it, despite the way I already see parallels between the concept of 'jobs left undone' and the state of clutter in my house. I see many instances of too lazy to find a home for items, or too lazy to return items to their proper place; of jobs half done rather than completed.

Perhaps the link isn't so obscure after all, and this will have a significant affect on my life's clutter!

Regaining Happiness, starting good habits over again - Gratitude

It has been a challenge fitting in the new routine again since the great week of illness and gastro. Most of the family have come down with a bad cold that is lingering this week also. Money is not where we were expecting it to be and we've been looking with alarm at our budget for next year.  This past week I would have to say I've reverted almost wholly to the way I was before Bruce Springsteen. Which, by comparison to the interim period, isn't a great place, and certainly not where I want to be.

A chat this week with my concert going friend revealed that she was also losing the effect of the excitement, she's been sick too, so who knows whether it's a post-concert high wearing off or it's just about how unwell we're feeling. Regardless, between us we came up with the solution.

Get back to the basics. What made me so happy in the first place?  What was I doing when I was happy? How was I thinking about things, and what things was I thinking about?

The strategy I've used for the past couple of days has four elements. Bruce, Blogging, Gratitude and Exercise.  Between those three things at the forefront, other factors such as being solutions focused, improving my eating habits and sleeping seem to be falling into place as a natural consequence.

Gratitude and Exercise are known to improve life expectancy and quality.  I'd love to see links you come up with about this research, but in the meantime, here is my perspective.

Gratitude

"Being grateful is also associated with improved immune system function, fewer aches and pains, and lower blood pressure"

Wise words to listen to for someone with an autoimmune disease, arthritis and high blood pressure!!!!

Although it seems like such an insignificant thing, being grateful appears to have an uplifting and soothing affect. Simply finding one thing to be glad about this morning seemed to be the salve that calmed my entire day.  The more gratitude, the more excitingly happy I was.  I remember when I was at the dizzy peak of my happiness post-Springsteen and I found joy in every part of the day. I was positively buzzing with gratefulness. Being thankful seems to be the first step  to being very happy indeed.

Plus I think it turns around a bad attitude!  I found this link about how to develop an attitude of gratitude.

I know that today I've been calmer and less bad-tempered since being sent a text first thing this morning with my friend's list of gratefulness, and replying to her with mine. I only had one thing to begin with, I sent her this "I'm grateful that hubby has taken the time to get the boy off to school today"

The rest of my day was calm. 

Pulling together and Being Prepared!

One of the most significant concepts for me since I began blogging is that of being prepared.  It was the subject of one of my very early posts as I reflected on my mother in law's incredible pre-preparation for just about anything.

Particularly now, as I am feeling more positive, happy, upbeat and capable than I have in years, I find myself reflecting on this concept of preparation.

Recently (during that quiet time when no blog posts appeared) my husband travelled away for work.  He was driving to a major regional town, about five hours away.   When he'd been gone 4 hours already, and I was mid-breakfast, mid-getting children to school, the whole trip hit a terrible snag in the form of my coming down with a very severe case of gastro. I couldn't move, and he was 4 hours away.  I am so grateful for his boss, who immediately drove him home again to look after the children, as I was so incapable.  I spent the next several days feeling quite off, but the worst passed that first day, and along with the sickness came some pretty significant realisations for me.

The first one was that there was no way that hubby could travel for work again, at least not until our youngest is a little more independent. We simply don't have a 'backup' network to call on, other than each other. This didn't take much contemplation, after the horrible hours waiting for him to arrive home, I'm not doing that again with such small children.

The other realisations however came hot on each others heels and do require a bit more contemplation and change.  After a very upset week, I realised that not only have I established a solid family routine since returning to working, but that this routine was hanging on by a thread. We simply aren't that used to it, haven't settled into it, or gotten comfortable enough with it that it tolerates much battering. The week I was at home sick threw the entire concept of 'calm', 'organised', and 'routine' out the proverbial window, it seemed at the time as though never to be seen again!  (luckily I'm more resilient than that and this week is going OK)

Hand in hand with how precariously our little family is balancing its 'routine' is the entire concept of being prepared! After all, if we are more 'prepared' then by extension our balancing act is more stable, and less likely to topple at the slightest adjustment required.

Which leads me to my focus for the moment. I am still determined to lose weight, keep exercising with the same intensity as in the last month or so, and still quite keen to keep my positive attitude, however I feel a little like the tough work of beginning those changes has been accomplished and I need to consider how being prepared will accentuate the positive attitude and exercise transformations. 

Firstly, simply being more prepared in the meals department will provide me with an even better daily diet to get the best nourishment without any excess sugary carbohydrates!

Being a step ahead of where I am now would mean having an idea of tomorrow's food, and it being in the fridge (its been a lean food prep week this week!); not running out of cat food; having photos uploaded every week; having activities ready for the children when they get home (OK that one is only if I turn into super-Mum!). It would also mean being on top of the mountains of paperwork for myself and my Dad. I feel like I'm drowning under papers at the moment, but will leave that conundrum for another day! I like the sound of being a step ahead, however for now, the tiniest fraction of being prepared that I see now is a bit less dramatic, but might give me a few hints about how to operate in a prepared way.  I've already noticed that the better my communication, the more we are able to negotiate through things as they crop up. Put another way, two grumpy snappy adults don't make great decisions!

Since the returning to all hands on deck working, we've established some routines that sort of work. Hubby does early mornings (when my arthritis still makes me a slow turtle) and drops big children at school before work; I take our little one to her various morning activities; we come home and she naps while I get housework done; the almost 2 hour pickup of big children happens at the end of nap-time; we have a very early tea when we get home; then homework after Daddy gets home and a bit of chaotic energy, then bedtime. This is what is working for us.  

Two times I am focusing on improving is the activities I get done while little miss takes her nap, and what I get done after hubby is home at night.

At the moment, I am happy that at nap time daily I seem to be managing to completely clean the floor off in the entry and kitchen as well as downstairs toys.  This is a bit of an extension of what I've achieved in the past, and this week I'm trying to work out how to extend past that point into uncharted cleaning territory.  I'm still not sure, but some experimenting is on the horizon to find the balance that will fit in my 2 hour time frame. 

In the evenings I am juggling between walking (its not practical at 9pm any longer due to the cold!); school homework; and cleaning!  I am using the early evening time to get into extra projects or washing up, whichever is needing doing more.  This is how I managed to get the floor scrubbed on Monday night, determination!

I need to refresh and revisit the concepts of this post about Working Smart. That's the essence of what is going on here, an attempt to make the obvious easier!

There is something else I'm realising as I go over all this while listening to Bruce Springsteen's Darkness on the Edge of Town album.  It's that I need to find a way to really ENJOY getting more prepared!  I remember when I was in Girl Guides, that my Guide Leader instilled in me, for the shortest moment, a flame of inspiration of REALLY wanting to 'Be Prepared" and obtain my Baden-Powell emblem, the highest achievement for a Girl Guide.  Years later, I feel I'm finally getting the point of all those badges and things. A sense of purpose about how I am going about this domestic life, to relish and delight in what is necessary.

I think I'd much rather relish and delight in more Bruce Springsteen concerts, but in order to do that I need my house to be respectable and presentable for house-sitters, so it's delighting in house cleaning for me in the interim.

Hang in there Bruce, I'm coming to a concert soon!

Household madness and other cleaning conundrums

Has three months of blogging helped me to keep the house cleaner? If I look at the question critically, then the answer would be not a great deal.  The state of the house is still very chaotic, my 'hot spots' where junk collects appear to have grown in size and number.  However overall there are a few positive differences that would not have happened without blogging.  These make the optimist in me say YES, blogging has made a difference!

The most obvious change is my entry. Having followed "Inspirational Thursday"  and taken the advice of my friend, I 'made over' the entry over a month ago.  And it is still looking pretty spiffy compared to the mess of bags and shoes on the floor that I had previously.

I am happy with that result!   The second change is more subtle, but possibly has a much greater affect on our household. Since blogging, and my Bruce Springsteen experience, I have been much calmer and happier. My husband has  therefore been calmer and happier, we have better routines and it has become unusual for the chaos to get as out of hand as it used to when we were under pressure.  Now that I think about it, I think I've achieved a little glimmer of 'being prepared', something I so admired in my mother in law during my first week of blogging.

The more time I take to contemplate my household management and cleaning, the more I realise that the progress I'm making has everything to do with my positive attitude.  It is amazing what can get done when you stop finding excuses and simply begin doing!  This is particularly inspirational to me today, as yesterday I was feeling a bit unwell, I felt my positive attitude and energy had left me, yet I managed to cook 3 meals for a weekly cook-up with my hubby, and still went for a 20 minute walk for exercise.  Pre-Bruce, pre-blog, neither of those things would have been achieved on a 'bad day'.  I would highly recommend blogging, or journaling to anyone who is struggling with progressing in any aspect of life. Writing things down and practising self reflection are incredibly powerful tools for positive change!

What you think will happen, does!

I'm incredibly shocked at how pervasive this truth is.  Yesterday was one of those days, I woke up out of sorts, found fault with many things, had a few things go wrong, and was in an established bad mood before even getting in the car for school drop-off. After that it was an uphill battle to find the good in the day!

And what a day it turned out to be! Despite a very enjoyable hour in the middle of the day with my good friend and toddler listening to, discussing and dancing to all things Springsteen (and Pete Murray), it wasn't long before one more inconvenience threw me for six again!

In the end, I realised that I just needed to get through the day, any which way, and I gave myself permission to just let it go. I ate junk food and didn't exercise.  Not because I can afford to do that, but because I realised I would start the next day knowing I needed to exercise even more!

One thing I managed to do, was make a simple change to improve my morning, with hubby doing school drop-off before work. This made all the difference this morning, and I woke up in a great deal of pain (negativity breeds pain for auto-immune disease, I'm sure), but didn't let it get to me, I've taken paracetamol and done 15 minutes Tai Chi and the pain is almost gone!

I'm so glad that I was able to let go of yesterday, make some improvements that I felt would give today more chance at being positive, and so far, at 8:30am, its looking like being an altogether pleasant and productive day!

As I type this I am realising, that despite my awful mood yesterday, I still strived, almost all day, to see the positive, to create solutions.  They may not have worked yesterday, but those positive thoughts did pave the way for today to work out better, I gave myself a chance to make sure today was going to be ok!  Not only with school drop-off, but I made plans to go to a playgroup this morning, and have been thinking good things about that since yesterday afternoon. I've been thinking positive about school pick-up time, seeing the good in it rather than the inconvenience of lugging my poor toddler about in and out of the car.  I also held onto my 'integrity' - this kept me centred, despite feeling out of control at times!

It takes repetitive, consistent, and even more repetitive positive attitude sometimes. And we can't be constantly happy, sometimes we get sad, or mad; but the backbone of believing and self-talk that positive things are possible, and are even happening right now makes all the difference, sometimes not immediately, but the more 'looking on the bright side' the more likely that the happy will return more quickly after a bad moment / day. I need to remember the bright side side!

There  will be more to come about the positive, solution oriented attitude. It makes all the difference! 

Today is wonderful. My daughter is dancing to Bruce Springsteen, and I am 900 grams off my goal weight for April :)

The Jedi art of Under-reacting

I realised the other day that one of the biggest contributors to my stress level was my own reaction to potentially stressful events and news. Confronted with any hint of bad news I tend to immediately and unknowingly spend quite a few moments dramatising the problem. By dramatising I mean focussing on it, extrapolating the first information out into the future implications as though all possible negative outcomes were absolutely going to come to pass.  After that I have even developed the habit of laying blame for the problem, wasting time identifying how and why the problem even occurred.

For example when my husband recently came home from a job interview with the news  that he was starting work next week; my immediate reaction was dismay that his first day of work was going to be the very day after my own first day back in 2 years.  I wasted valuable time and energy worrying about how I'd cope looking after our young toddler after a long day at work, and then doing it again all week, as well as doing all the school drop offs and pick ups. What I said to my husband wasn't 'oh great you managed to get my workday off'; but 'why did you arrange to start the day after me?'  I turned his good news into a negative, and triggered off panic-hormones that have serious consequences for my autoimmune disease. 

It might seem simple to you reading that this wasn't the perfect or even a moderately reasonable way to react to his good news, but it is a terrific example of being stuck in the rut of negativity!

How did I change this?   I wanted to be all Jedi like, and not flapping around in a panic.  You know, like Yoda, with all that little Jedi dude Hmm Hmm'ing?  I especially like this quote too:

Fear is the path to the dark side. Fear leads to anger, anger leads to hate, hate leads to suffering. --YODA, Star Wars Episode I: The Phantom Menace

Well, I realised that the way to Jedi under-reacting enlightenment was to IMMEDIATELY look to the solutions and waste not a moment on the problem.  Or, turn away from the fears and focus on the hope.  I've been trying this for a few days and seeing a remarkable difference!!

When it came to the potential exhaustion of working all week between us, as soon as I began to think positively about the solutions I realised that this week is not a full working week, as in Australia we have a public holiday on April 25th, for ANZAC day, which means that despite potential tiredness on Tuesday and Wednesday, I will get a 'holiday' on Thursday, an extra day of not worrying about school runs, lunches and early mornings.  I was so happy to apologise for my negativity and to let my husband know that it was all going to turn out fine this week,with an extra day off for our first week!  The change in how I physically felt when thinking positive was obvious, I was smiling, I felt taller and less hunched, I believed in myself more, I didn't have chest pains from tensing up, and I've had so much more energy since taking this 'solution focus' on board.

One positive thought led to another, and I've made plans to have my friend look after the small person so that I can still do my Tai Chi class on Tuesday; again giving me a bit of a break and a chance to catch up for a cuppa as well!

So my newest lesson is that of focussing on the solution, not the problem. It is amazing how this simple change of focus can make such a huge difference emotionally and physically. I also hope to be re-teaching my children a new way to look at problems, to worry less and enjoy the moment, including all the little hurdles that cross our paths.

Perhaps, if I'm lucky, the new attitude and way of working will rub off on my husband, who tonight gave a brilliant demonstration of 'problem focus' - I was very happy to be able to stay calm and centred and quietly point out the communication misunderstanding when he was ready to think about solutions :)



 

My City Of Ruins - Uplifting, Yes it is!

I realise now that one of the things, perhaps the most important thing, about Bruce Springsteen that resonates with me is the way he celebrates misery.

That sounds a bit harsh doesn't it? I think it is justified, and not at all negative. There are people who need to wallow into their grief, to enlarge their troubles to larger-than-life experiences and who find comfort in the ability to revel in the hard times.

In my own experience I am happiest when my happiness is so all-encompassing that I could burst. And if I must be sad, or angry, then I want to live it big too.

My City of Ruins encompasses all that for me. Haven't we all experienced that moment of:

"My soul is lost my friend. Now tell me how do I begin again?"

I know I have.

And then, in the live performance, who can argue with all that "Rise Up" going on? Between the sax and the vocals there's no arguing with the persuasive urgency to join in, rise up and join in to celebrate the ghosts.

"Are we missing anybody now?" is followed by the eerie silence of the entire band and audience stilling, to take a moment to feel the ghosts. The respectful silence of the arena, until Springsteen speaks those words "let me hear you" is masterfully orchestrated, and the energy created by those moments shared stillness is intense.

When he sings "My City's in Ruins, you know he's not talking about a physical city" it is so apparent that the grief is deeply felt.

I take comfort too in that those who've passed have 'made that change of town now'.  For me that brings more peace than any other way of expressing the change from the physical to the spiritual.  Or perhaps it is just hearing Bruce Springsteen say it that makes it ok. The longer that passes since his concert, the more I realise that he is a master magician, weaving his craft of musical magic through the audience. The words are important, yes, but so is the man speaking them.

 




Links to my previous Springsteen posts here:
We Are Alive
My Tour Experience
Energy Much?
Motivational Thursday

Motivational Thursday (Bruce!) - the results

I was surprised at how easy it was to get stuck into the Entry just the way my friend suggested!

Here are the results of what I called The Motivational Thursday Project.  For anyone who missed it, this was motivational Thursday.

Part way through. Still quite a bit of chaos.

This was moved from the main wall to make room for the new Expedit shelves.

Wall waiting for shelving.

Front corner less chaotic, and with temporary curtain!

Voila! New shelves filled with all our stuff! (and a bag packed ready for  the trip to Melbourne!)

Today I steam cleaned the rug and tidied the last junk off the pine hutch. It feels great! Inspirational music today was Shackled and Drawn.

Energy much?

Bruce Springsteen has it in spades! Why, you ask? Well he's clearly doing not only what he loves, but doing it at the absolute top of his game. While I can't aspire to a stellar singing career (mostly due to being tone deaf), what I can do is be the best 'me' possible, something I am just coming to finally begin to understand, a bit like a curtain has been drawn aside, and by taking a peek into the depths of Bruce Springsteen, I'm grasping exactly what it means to be all of onesself.

 

If he can be 63 and as fit as he is, there is no excuse for my lazy behaviour regarding my weight, none. I may not ever in my life have the energy he puts into performances however I can do a damned sight better than I do now! I can be thin, how thin remains to be seen, but I am absolutely able and capable of getting the caloric restriction and exercise needed! It's my choice. In talking about being thin, I do not aspire to be 'model like' or thin for the acceptance of others. This is totally about being healthy enough to play with my children, to live into my dotage and to enjoy it all as much as possible, without the health challenges that go with being overweight.

For me, what to do to earn money is not as simple, although the principle of finding something you love, then fostering your ability through seeking the highest quality feedback is certainly borne true when witnessing the incredible E Street Band. I especially like watching Tom Morello's mind get blown as Bruce and the band teach him their craft! But Springsteen's history shows that he has not only studied the greats of entertainment, but has from the beginning, thrown himself into a situation of not only seeking feedback (through competitions and companions), but surrounded himself with the dedication of peer review from the incredible E Street Band. He has in his early career shaped his future by shaping his musical companions.

So the process of writing down my feelings has taken some time, during which I already feel the fading of the bards energy as real life invades :(