Chocolate topping and hindsight

Wow, revisiting my most popular post to date... and discovering it was written at what was a very high point in terms of focus.  So much has changed since then, particularly in the 2 months since Bruce and the E Street Band left the country....

Here's the original post:

Thursday, July 11, 2013Negativity - cured by an Attitude of Gratitude!
Sometimes, despite the best intentions, life fills up with it. Negativity. Maybe that's just *my* life, I don't know. I'm only living mine, so I've got no way to know if its me in particular.
Right now for instance, despite being extremely grateful earlier, and looking on the bright side, I find myself not only frustrated, but angry.
Because I'm fed up with blogging and still managing to get lost and feel like I'm making no progress, I'm going to go over the gratitude exercise again.
Tonight I'm grateful for the nap I had earlier, it was pleasant. I'm grateful for my Brucebud, Maggie, who understands.  I'm grateful for the time to write birthday invitations, and that I can let go of the perfectionist in me and make do with what I have designed. I'm grateful to the phone repairer who fixed my broken phone. I'm grateful to Bruce Springsteen and the E Street Band for the inspiration to move, to make no excuses and to get out there and be fit. I've lost 13 kgs and that will never come back, because I'll never make excuses for myself like that again.  I might even get within 5kgs of my goal weight for my birthday of 80kgs! 
I'm grateful for just now remembering to drink water, as it will help make tomorrow a better day. I'm grateful to music, that I'm just about to listen to, while I drink some water, and marvel at how easy it is to turn around a very bad mood and attitude into a relatively pleasant mood and very good attitude.
It seems it is impossible to be angry and grateful at the same time. It seems that when your heart and mind is filled with gratitude, those things and people who make you mad don't matter one zot. 
Which is fine by me!Posted by Kat Smith at 1:39 AM 

I am interested to see that even though at the time I felt thwarted, I can see with hindsight that the feeling was perhaps just the hunger for doing more, doing better that was lighting the fire keeping me going, always losing weight, always eating better, sticking to my goals. Or perhaps it was indeed when things started to unravel for me, as I remember feeling a sense of stagnation that started in July last year.

Despite backsliding with the weight loss considerably, the interesting thing is that now I am beginning to tackle some of my life's bigger problems and big decisions. We've left the too-expensive private school, I've moved Dad into a care home closer to where I live, huge life changes are going on.  Having gained 5 kg in this time is a big deal, but perhaps merely a side effect of my not yet having learnt to juggle significant upheaval in my new routine.  When I reflect on my past efforts at fitness, I do tend to achieve a measure of what should be (according to experts) life time habit and increased fitness....and then maintaining or improving further on that is where I come unstuck. I have done this many times in the past, in many different life situations....so for me the trick is going to be keeping that fire lit under my arse that says "get moving" through all kinds of different circumstances.  Certainly the neck injury in November wiped out my walking, however now I have recurrent pain from that without walking, so I might as well keep up the walking and at least get the exercise and endorphins from doing the beneficial things!

Or as Dory would say:

Swimming in my case involves blogging, being grateful, exercising and eating sensibly. Pretty much everything else at the moment is chocolate topping. I have perhaps spent too much time in chocolate topping. There was some gratifying parts to that experience (the chocolate topping of doing 'all the other things' like the Bruce tour, moving Dad, etc) however overall it has made me feel kind of fat and sticky!

Two weeks of grand cleaning!

Over the past few days I decided to try a new way to attack the organisation and restoration of order in my home.  I realised that I was embodying the definition of insanity - to repeat the same activity over and over and expect different results!

What I intend to do instead is to be guided by what seems like a reasonable 'guide' to Spring cleaning and follow that guide through for the 2 weeks of the school holidays.  I've modified it to fit in with my time frame, but I'm also committed to repeating the whole process over the following 14 weeks to achieve a decent level of household loveliness.  Here is the guide I'm following.

That's the plan and this is where you'll see my updates. At the moment I'm on day 3 of the clean. Today I will finish the laundry and kitchen - this involves taking some shelving that was always meant to go into the kitchen and finally put it up, which will leave me more room in the laundry.

My first day was a successful cleanup of the entry - I've done that about 6 months ago and this time an armchair had drifted into the room next to the door, where it collected clutter. The armchair is now gone and so is the clutter.

My arthritis is playing up so behind the business of tidying will also be the restoration of my salad based diet, frequent walks and removing bread and milk from my diet again in the hope to restore some functionality to my poor arthritic hand!

My hubby and I are still almost full time caring for my father, as the nursing home staff do not supply him with enough fluids during each day and it is critical he gets what he needs.

These next few weeks will be challenging, as the last few have been, but the rewards will be worthwhile.

For those who are Springsteen fans, here is the youtube link to tonight's Rock in Rio concert!

I can't wait!

I finished a 5km race!

There's something I can cross off my bucket list! I've just finished the 5km race in the Sunshine Coast Marathon!  I'm coming back to edit this, just realising that what I am totally neglecting to mention here is that 12 months ago there is no way I could walk 5km at all, due to the arthritic pain from psoriatic arthritis.  I have Bruce Springsteen's inspiration and my own determination to thank for this remarkable recovery. 

I still have arthritis, but like any auto-immune disease, it is affected quite incredibly, not only by stress (in a bad way) but also by happiness and joy.  The lighter, more joyful and happy I feel, the less impact the disease has on my life. I am still prone to injury, particularly muscle and tendon strain, and swelling, however my pain levels are significantly reduced since I started exercising, and especially since I started enjoying life to the fullest, courtesy of Bruce Springsteen's musical inspiration.  I hope that in the months leading up to his arrival in February, and in the months after he leaves Australia again, that I get my fill of Springsteen-motivation and am able to carry on with even more mobility and less pain for at least a year!  After his concerts this past March, the extreme happiness bubble wore off within 3 months. Its sort of back now, and I intend to keep building on the happiness so that my Bruce happiness bubble keeps me going for a considerable time!

My goals today were to 1. finish and 2. finish in under one hour.  I managed both, quite easily!  My time was 50 minutes and 14 seconds!  Which I believe is 6km / hour, if my maths brain is still working!

I can safely say that I think I'm hooked. Its fun to be in a great big group of people running and walking. Setting a pace of 6 km / hour over 5 kms is quite remarkable for me, and it was all about having people in front of me that I could focus on catching up to and keeping up with.

 

As usual thing didn't go as much to plan as I would like. My poor phone decided to have a conniption so Runkeeper didn't work and I had no idea of my pace until 3km into the race, when the helpful water station people knew we were at the 3km mark.  Then it was a bit of a race to finish under 1 hour.

I enjoyed my almost hour of Bruce. The playlist for my walk was

All or Nothing at All
All that Heaven Will Allow
Atlantic City
The Rising
We Take Care of Our Own
Easy Money
Shackled and Drawn
Reason to Believe
Glory Days
Dancing in the Dark
Shackled and Drawn again :)

By this time next year I hope to be up to some variation on the 5km I just did. Perhaps some jogging along with the walking. It really depends as jogging does have an impact on my spine, and I need to protect that part of me!

Either way, I'm sure next year I can do a better place, and get closer to the top half of the field.

I'll absolutely be doing this one again because the location and weather couldn't be more perfect!

 

Tomorrow I might be a little sore. At the moment I have a few blisters, hopefully they will heal up before work tomorrow!

Bruce is coming baaack! *happy dance*

My inner spirit is in a happy happy place, despite considerable turbulence in my life. Bruce Springsteen and the E Street Band are coming back to Australia in February! 

Excitement! Anticipation! Planning! 

Exercise!

Yes, exercise!  One of my quiet, secret dreams that I did not even commit to paper (hence making it a dream not a goal) since seeing Bruce and the band last March, was to be in the front row of the pit, with a sign that said "Hey Bruce, you inspired me to lose 20kgs!" 

Now that he's returning in 6 months, and that I've written it down for all the world to see, its a goal, not a dream.  I'd be happy to waste my 'sign request' on letting him know what a difference he's made in my life.

And its not too hard as goals go, as I've already lost 10kgs, so its really only 10 more to go! 9 if you are an optimist as most days I'm now 89 kgs.

But hey, 79 kgs is even better than 80 as a goal. I like it more, because it starts with 7 not 8!

My first steps are to ignore the sugar cravings I'm having, they seem to be a force of nature at the moment, but to counter them with at least my 2 litres of water a day and to do 30 minutes exercise every single day for the next month.  In the past few weeks I was increasing my Tai Chi, but at the expense of my walking, so I hovered at the same weight all month.

I'm also wanting to write a little blog entry every day.  For me right now, the number one way that I can organise my energy is to again focus on exercise and health, while the excitement is with me. Yes I also want to continue to finalise all the mountains of renovations (and clean washing) but at the moment I want to revisit the basics of exercise exercise exercise :)

Having said that, I have a short update on the general energy front. I was diagnosed with Iron Deficiency Anemia - and the other day when I didn't take my Iron supplement on time, oh boy. Flat me. But I dragged myself out of that and just got about my day 'pretending' to be managing, and pretty soon not only had I cleaned and swept the back verandah but I had Miss 2 out there painting pictures! 

Tonight we had campfire toast, marshmallows and garlic bread for dinner! Happy Mummy and happy children.

The boy and I also caught a TV interview with Bruce Springsteen and he has again asked to go to a concert! I am one proud and excited Mummy!

Health & Happiness Challenge Day 1

I have started two new blog posts tonight, as well as a spreadsheet to help me keep track of my challenges for the week.

Today was an extra work day for me while the children saw cousins with their Nana and Pop. So it didn't leave a LOT of time for exercise (I did a quick 10 minute walk before being picked up from work), or for reaching out to friends (so I emailed photos of the children to the family).

My Bruce time was mostly during the walk, although I did have my mindful Bruce attitude all day, holding my head up higher, and being happy in myself.

I'm grateful for another 2 hour drive home without tears and wailing from the little children. I'm grateful my cat survived a second day without his midday medication.

My diet could have been better as I had iced coffeee (yum!); but I also have had 1/3 of my water and I've eaten plenty of Kale today.

I phoned my father, it was lovely to speak with him after a busy day yesterday, and to hear that the private physiotherapist I have in to see him weekly was a highlight of his day as she took him for a longer walk than the staff usually do.

My excel spreadsheet looks a little like this:

 

Was flat, now a new week of challenges!

I'm a bit frightened. I have psoriasis coming back. New outbreaks on my legs, and my arm scar tissue is doing the opposite of fading.

There are so many things that I can attribute it to, but my gut says it all boils down to that extra special spark of happiness post-Springsteen and the E-Street Band concerts. 

I know I've eaten badly, for enough weeks that it is affecting me, so perhaps it is that. I know my exercise has dropped off with the cold wet weather, illnesses and extra child at home.

I know that my stress levels have skyrocketed with various unavoidable dramatic personalities, including my son's exhausted end-of-term teacher-inspired nervousness at everything. 

What I don't know is how to make it better. I have written so many words in my searching for various motivations and direction, yet still manage to come to this place where things go horribly wrong despite my best intentions.

I feel like I need a plan, or a mantra and a plan. Goals. I find it difficult to cope with when my goals aren't met on time. I was pretty heartbroken when I didn't reach my goal weight at the end of April. Since then I've tried to be more flexible, but then, without a solid goal, it is easy to slowly seep into excuse making by default. That place where you don't actually make excuses, but you excuse yourself from having to be responsible. 

I did this for a whole week recently over my son's school troubles. In some ways the week of 'not dealing with it' gave me some breathing space, but on the other hand, what kind of emotional state was I already in that I needed to re-create an emotional buffer that took a week in the making?

Part of the problem might have been that I've let the blog get out of control, so instead of having a daily reflection on how I'm doing, its barely a weekly review.

I'm sure I did  this list only a few weeks ago - exercise, blog, Bruce, gratefulness, Tai Chi, friendship.  I think its time for another 'challenge' where I focus on these elements as well as the special school holiday additions of children-time and cleanout-time. Challenge week time it is. First challenge will be getting to the blog daily!

I also left out diet! After naming it as the second most likely cause of disease disaster, I need  to remember at least the basics of no bread, 3 bottles of water and some Kale every day.

Exercise and tai chi are self-explanatory - daily!

Bruce - get some of that him daily too!

Gratefulness - a daily record of what I'm grateful for, at LEAST.

Friendship - connect with my exercise mates, or phone a friend

Children and cleanup time is part of my school holiday plan to begin with.

Wow, that is a very structured, full kind of challenge.  Perhaps it is about time.  I do wonder where in there I'm going to fit other things, like the evil budget word, or following up to fix my Dad's hearing aids.  So so many things. 

First a little bit of Tai Chi and a little bit of gratitude followed by the necessary fixing clothes for work tomorrow.

I hope you've made it this far through this very inwards and reflective journal for today!

If so, how wonderful is this? This is Evan's man-hug, from his sign request for the same.  It might seem crazily out of context, but its here because Evan's story makes me smile, and reminds me of how amazing it feels to be so close to someone who has such incredible energy and zest and shares that on such a magnificent scale.

Today I'm grateful that Evan shared his moment with so many Brucebuds.  I'm especially grateful to get home at night with two happy children (as compared to the screaming to get out of the car variety). I'm also grateful that my cat did ok by himself for the day. 

What are you grateful for today?

EDIT: note to self for this week - turn out the light!

Taking care of yourself - an epiphany.

I've had an epiphany. Not a very pleasant one, but an incredibly poignant light bulb moment. I'm sitting in my broken down car, on the side of the highway, waiting now for over half an hour for a row truck to collect myself and my disabled car in the pouring rain.

I have been watching European concerts for Bruce Springsteen with increasing agitation and envy  (check this link for why); what if this is his last tour? What if he stops touring and goes home to New Jersey for the next 2 years? These thoughts are what fuels my desperation to see him one more time, while I can.

And then there it was. My 'oh hell' moment, when I realised that had I argued more, or better, 10 years ago to have my frequent flyer points reinstated after they expired when my credit card company stopped automatic affiliation with the frequent flyer points, then I would have enough for my family to travel to Europe. (This happened in the traumatic year my mother got ill and died, so I was not paying attention to such things until it was too late).

What this is teaching me is that to not take care of something might seem to only have 'imaginary' consequences, the reality is that I am now sitting in THAT moment, where my much saved, loved points would have transported me from my suburban existence and taken my whole family on an amazing overseas holiday. My consequence for not sticking up for myself 10 years ago is right now, this very minute, realising that yes, that vague time in the future does come around! It's like when you are young the idea that smoking will ruin your health is a vague notion at best - some imaginary calamitous future disease - it does come to pass!

Here's my tow truck - the consequence of not paying attention to my car - now it's broken :(

Lesson for me? Take care of things, all the things. Just like my health, the whole of my life is my responsibility and there are consequences to doing a half hearted job.  I knew that eventually this new sense of self-actualisation regarding my health must begin to permeate the other facets of my life; however I'd always imagined that the transition would be more instantaneous, in the way that seeing Bruce Springsteen in concert instantly transformed my perspective on my responsibility for my own health well-being occurred overnight.  I had imagined that overnight I would have the exact same goal oriented, no-setback accepted, driven and calm resolve about decluttering my house.  This somewhat obscure little 'light bulb moment' that annoyingly seems to require me to find every distasteful incomplete or neglected task in my life and place it as a matter of priority is not what I imagined as the next logical progression of realising my life is wholly my responsibility to live in a happy way.  It may take some getting used it, despite the way I already see parallels between the concept of 'jobs left undone' and the state of clutter in my house. I see many instances of too lazy to find a home for items, or too lazy to return items to their proper place; of jobs half done rather than completed.

Perhaps the link isn't so obscure after all, and this will have a significant affect on my life's clutter!

3 months of bloggy goodness - Exercise Update

I am reading that heading and I'm thinking 'soggy' goodness, like cereal when it’s been sitting long enough to lose its crunch! Certainly the first half or more of my time blogging has been 'soggy' here; it even rained again today, though thankfully only a light shower!

I'm not having a lot of new thoughts to share at the moment, but I am thinking quite a lot about my progress or lack thereof. And thus this post is born, a bit of a recap of all the things. As it turned out, my recap was quite extensive, so here is the exercise instalment! More to follow!

Exercise and health

Why?
The last time I was a healthy weight was about 7 years ago, since then I was plagued with mostly auto-immune health concerns. Two years ago while pregnant it was discovered that I had high blood pressure. Everything turned out fine with the pregnancy, and my blood pressure did the expected dropping after bub was born, however my Dad was re-admitted to hospital three months later and my blood pressure hasn't recovered!

What?
I have spent the last 18 months or so concentrating on improving my health. In February 2012 I began Tai Chi classes to assist my pain from psoriatic arthritis and my hypertension. Tai Chi was brilliant, and still is, however I managed to gain 10kgs in December while sitting at Dad's hospital bedside, which prompted a visit to my GP and a renewed effort specifically for weight loss to improve my blood pressure. I did excellently for the first few weeks, losing 5kgs and getting a cholesterol reading of 3.5. The next few weeks proved harder and I was feeling a little bit desperate, when along came my first Bruce Springsteen concert! Especially since seeing Bruce Springsteen and the E Street Band in Melbourne last month I have been a woman possessed with a need to get on with my life as healthily as I possibly could, with no excuses. I was inspired to reach my goal of weighing 90kgs by the end of this month (today). While this goal appears to have eluded me, the scales are stubbornly saying I've lost only 2 of the required 5kgs in the past 6 weeks, I have continued to exercise, walking almost every day for half an hour.

What I've learned!
The benefits I’ve noticed are simply terrific, and I've learnt some things along the way too. For starters, I've always hated runners or joggers, and preferred to walk in sandals than in a closed in shoe. That is until I bought a pair of 'reef boots' on the cheap. I am now firmly of the belief, that regardless of whether they're designer expensive trendy new 'ultra-thin-sole' runners or cheapies like mine, that the best shoes in the world are the 'barely there' variety. Of course your mileage may vary, but they're worth checking out!

It really helps to get a decent song mix for the time you spend exercising, obviously at the moment I'm listening to Bruce Springsteen, but anything you find uplifting that gets you inspired to lift your feet higher, move faster and generally pump out that energy! Speaking of which, today marked the latest instalment of Bruce Springsteen concerts in Oslo.  This seems to have made me a little bit lighter on my feet, even though I am not going to any of them!

I've also learned that exercise affects a whole lot more than your body size and shape. The changes I've noticed in myself go across the whole spectrum of being human! And they're all beneficial!

Benefits of Exercise

• I am much happier and calmer. It is considerably easier to be calmer now that I exercise regularly. I am surprised at how much easier it is for me to be polite and reasonable in stressful situations, and how I am far less ruffled than usual! Exercise really seems to help with keeping cool emotionally.
• Many people seem to think I've lost weight, so I'll take that. It seems that either muscle really does weigh more than fat, or I'm simply a nicer shape for the walking.
• I have more energy for playing with my children
• I can now run, jog and jump - I couldn't do those things at the beginning of the year
• My arthritis is far less inhibiting. The joints that are severely affected (right Achilles and left wrist) are still agonising frequently, but I just carry on through the pain, take the occasional paracetamol and don't give in to the temptation to feel disabled.
• My psoriasis is far less present. I've had psoriasis for 5 years now, and it is quite extensive, all over my arms and legs mostly. The psoriasis on my arms is now almost gone (just scarring) and on my legs is quite mild compared to just a few months ago. It leads me to wonder if exercise plays a significant part in maintaining a healthy immune system. It’s certainly not something my rheumatologist mentioned, but perhaps something as simple as exercise does not pay for her contribution to scientific research with drug trials!
• Gone are the excuses for not exercising! There are no 'reasons' for not exercising, only excuses! If you are injured, seek rehab, if you have limitations, set out to break them or at least bend them with professional help! I am finding I am also slowly eradicating excuses from other areas of my life, in fact I feel another Jedi post coming up based on Yoda's "Do or do not, there is not TRY"
• Much as I lament the brown snakes, hills and crooked footpaths, I really do love my neighbourhood and walking under the stars in my streets is a precious gift, that I am fortunate enough to live somewhere so nice, safe and friendly. I'm not so sure about the reptilian population though.

Where to from here?
I am going to keep up the walking, increase the Tai Chi, and spend some of my effort on consulting a personal trainer to make sure I'm doing everything I can and should to get as healthy as possible, as quickly as possible. I still have the goal of 80kgs before the end of winter. Apparently healthy weight for me is ten more kilos lighter again, but I'll see how I go getting to that first goal. If we could afford it, I'd be taking the family skiing this year, so that might yet happen, we will see how budgeting fares!

 

Setting Achievable Goals - Life lesson Day 3

I've been very pleased with myself since the great Thursday of happiness (aka motivational Thursday) Since then, less than a month ago, I have managed to transform the look of 2 rooms that we use every day, the entry and E's space.

This week I've started on a third project, the 'Front Room'. This room used to be the living room. At one stage, when our roof was leaking and yet to be repaired, it was our bedroom and living room, many years ago. Now it has given itself over the main residence of the decrepit cat of all blindness. He hangs on in this little spot, we've kicked the children out of the room, so the TV went back upstairs and its no longer the living room. In a stroke of opportunistic genius, I've decided to transform it into my husband's 'cave', alongside the cat :)

However before I can get carried away with the idea of a home to put the thousand screwdrivers, nuts, bolts and other man-stuff that hubby leaves lying around all over the house; the whole room needs a thorough cleanup. A daunting task, as its been allowed to turn into a bit of a cesspit in recent months.

I spent a few days pottering, using the simple principle of leaving the room better than I found it, and not achieving a great deal. I really had no idea where to start. The solution came to me more as a desperate idea than a full-blown certainty. In order to give myself somewhere to simply BEGIN, I decided to break the cleaning down into sections. Normally I'd clean the floors first, but in this situation that seemed pointless as the floors were basically acquiring flotsam from the junk falling off the piled up surfaces. So I took my phone and photographed every surface area that was junked up. Sadly on its last legs (like the cat), my phone managed to make every photo a hazy milky tone. Here's an example:

It does a wonderful job of highlighting the junk, even with the surreal effect.

Surprisingly, as soon as I'd taken the photos, I was resolved to tackle all the surfaces first, and to finish as many as possible today. I remarked that it would be a miracle if I got through them all.

I should have had more faith because as I write this, all 5 areas of the room that were the same and worse than this have been totally cleaned off. The Wrecking Ball soundtrack helped, and it took the entire album to get through it all. I have one tiny nemesis of paperwork and fiddly rubbish in the bottom of the green 'Trofast' drawer in this picture. After finishing this blog, I'll be working on that till bedtime!

I've exceeded my expectations for the day, all by simply breaking down the job into smaller pieces that were not so daunting. There were still hurdles along the way, and plenty of interruptions and breaks. Having the photographs helped to keep me focussed on how I'd progressed, and finishing off one discreet area at a time was terrific motivation to move on to the next area and the next. I even did a lot of bargaining with myself, deciding I was going to stop when I finished the top of the bookcase, and was so inspired by finishing that I kept going and started on the couch, then moved on to everywhere else!

Even the deep freezer had a mountain of stuff piled on it.

Now I'm feeling invincible and ready to have the whole room spick and span tomorrow, ready for its new life as the 'cave'!

 

We put up these little storage racks in a random spot temporarily as having them in use somewhere was better than all the component parts lying around :) Plus they are now filled with things, mostly all the tiny bits of Lego lying around.

And the most wonderful bonus of the exercise was that I found the first ring hubby ever bought me, it is more sentimental than my wedding and engagement rings and had been missing for over a year!

I haven't set the goals for tomorrow's instalment yet, but I'm sure that making the job smaller with manageable sections will be the backbone of how I get through it!

Cleaning habits, Challenge week works!

I've come to a realisation about the creation of good habits. Small good habits, or small efforts made repeatedly, lead to a self-regulating habit. Just like this post on "Habit V's Guilt" I am discovering that baby steps do indeed make cleaning progress. Not only do baby steps eventually lead to real changes, but the slow creation of habits over time creep in.

There is something about confidence that makes a contribution here too. The entire theme for this post started out when I happily noticed that the laundry has managed to stay in a state of what I'd call controlled chaos since the great laundry challenge week (updates found here, here and here).

The state of the laundry looks pretty awful at the moment, but the reality is that I'm getting through my 1-2 loads a day from beginning to end and for the most part, everything is where it should be. The same kind of thing is happening in the kitchen. Sure the hard-to-wash-up stuff sometime lingers, and there always seems to be leftover washing up, but its not the same dirty pot sitting here on Thursday that was there last weekend. Its a new pot, replacing the cake tin.  I think when I am more confident, and my habits are even better, I can raise the expectation that no dirty dishes will be there from one day to the next.

I think I'm getting all my concepts mushed up in a mess here, but what I'm figuring out is that by giving myself permission not to be perfect in my habits, while simultaneously keeping up some confidence that I'll get these things done, I'm managing to keep on top of some routines.

All I need to do now is keep up with the decluttering and slowly add in more routine cleaning.  Seems so simple but I suspect it will be a slow road.

Something also seems to be brewing in the wider family as this evening my husband has swept the floor without any prompting. 

101 Dreams

For Christmas I bought myself this book from Kikki-K.

I am not sure what I hoped to acomplish with it, perhaps I was hoping to get some organisation from the sinking depths I felt I was in at that time. What has surprised me, is to discover, when I reopened the book after it has been hidden behind junk for a while, is the following entry:



Dream #11 - write a blog!

And here I am, writing. Its not the blog I had in mind, but this blog is absolutely the one that needed to be written. It contributes nicely to dream #5 - live in a clean house.

Its a bit different to writing a bucket list, this 'dream' idea. While my bucket list might list 90 places I'd like to visit, my dreams are constructed of slightly different stuff - things like visiting my relatives; taking a family vacation.  After 2 months, it still only has a list of 30 dreams, but they're heartfelt and meaningful to me.  I think I'll be keeping this dream book a little closer :)

We are having internet problems here with heavy rainfall and flooding nearby, so a blog with pics is on its way, stay tuned!