Resources for when everything is falling apart, handy links only.

Thats right, just the links I've found useful tonight. I'm a human being blogging, my life has stuff going on that I process away from blogging. And tonight it involved getting myself informed about pulling myself out of an emotional black spot.

I only like step 1 of this one, very important. The other steps resonate better elsewhere. (wikihow)

This one really resonated with me. I immediately went and joined some groups on facebook that related to issues in my life - one of them was an elder care page that I liked, with plenty of links and useful information. This will be so important to ease the feeling of doing it alone. Thank you to the freedom experiment.  This cluey write also suggests tackling the problem that will take 20% of energy to fix, but are causing 80% of the worry. I don't know which one that is right now, too many options!

"Don’t run away from your fear, Pema says. Lean into it." it isn't the simple answer but there is a truth in feeling the fear, and then moving along (with it if necessary).

These others are the ones that I just can't digest right now.

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/terri-cole/dealing-with-crisis_b_2777284.html

http://www.feelgooder.com/how-to-be-positive-when-everything-seems-like-it%E2%80%99s-falling-apart/

http://www.marieforleo.com/2013/05/feeling-lost/

http://goinswriter.com/falling-apart/

The common theme seems to be gratitude. I'm going to find my 3 things to be grateful for today.

1. I'm grateful for my house. It may be slowly becoming more run down, but it is mine.

2. I'm grateful for my friends and family who I've chatted to today

3. I'm grateful for my mother in law who knows all things cooking and is just a phone call away with the answers :)

Bless!

Purposeful Anger

 

 

I just had pause to realise again for the second time in as many weeks that there is a great potential for me to harness anger into something good. And then I remembered the lyrics "hold tight to your anger, and don't fall to your fear" and I realise that anger, when galvanising you into action is a valid purposeful thing. (action that is, not 'reaction'). I love Bruce. Here is the whole song. With a slight twist because its for Sandy relief. 

 

 

 

 

 

Spiralling up or down? It's my choice.

Sadly I attended a funeral today. As they do, this one got me thinking about life, and what it all means.

My revelation for the evening is this:

Life is like a marriage.  You are either actively contributing towards its success, or your apathy is actively working against it. 

I was told this about relationships a long time ago and have found it to be proven true time and time again. Applying the principle to 'living life' works in the same way. Apathy or not engaging is simply another way of going out of your way not to live life to the fullest.

My exercise and eating have come unstuck lately. I've gained weight :(  I was contemplating this while wondering how to get it all back on track and I realised that this principle applies.  I'm either working with all I have towards healthy living, or by doing 'nothing' I am in fact descending rapidly into unhealthy habits again.  For some people this may not be so prounounced but for me it is very clear that apathy equates to negativity. 

I keep having to remind myself to continue to blog, and to keep up all the range of good habits I began. I get forgetful and imagine that as long as I exercise and eat well that I'm doing 'good', when in fact I've proven to myself this year that blogging, gratitude and other habits are as important as the exercise and they contribute to my capacity to maintain the exercise and good eating habits under stressful circumstances.

Ergo, that we are constantly in motion and as creatures of habit our motion tends to keep going in the direction we are travelling - thus we are either spiralling up (working towards the good stuff) or spiralling down (away from the good stuff).

I choose to keep spiralling up. I choose to keep choosing this, over and over again.

Two weeks of grand cleaning!

Over the past few days I decided to try a new way to attack the organisation and restoration of order in my home.  I realised that I was embodying the definition of insanity - to repeat the same activity over and over and expect different results!

What I intend to do instead is to be guided by what seems like a reasonable 'guide' to Spring cleaning and follow that guide through for the 2 weeks of the school holidays.  I've modified it to fit in with my time frame, but I'm also committed to repeating the whole process over the following 14 weeks to achieve a decent level of household loveliness.  Here is the guide I'm following.

That's the plan and this is where you'll see my updates. At the moment I'm on day 3 of the clean. Today I will finish the laundry and kitchen - this involves taking some shelving that was always meant to go into the kitchen and finally put it up, which will leave me more room in the laundry.

My first day was a successful cleanup of the entry - I've done that about 6 months ago and this time an armchair had drifted into the room next to the door, where it collected clutter. The armchair is now gone and so is the clutter.

My arthritis is playing up so behind the business of tidying will also be the restoration of my salad based diet, frequent walks and removing bread and milk from my diet again in the hope to restore some functionality to my poor arthritic hand!

My hubby and I are still almost full time caring for my father, as the nursing home staff do not supply him with enough fluids during each day and it is critical he gets what he needs.

These next few weeks will be challenging, as the last few have been, but the rewards will be worthwhile.

For those who are Springsteen fans, here is the youtube link to tonight's Rock in Rio concert!

I can't wait!

Bruce is coming baaack! *happy dance*

My inner spirit is in a happy happy place, despite considerable turbulence in my life. Bruce Springsteen and the E Street Band are coming back to Australia in February! 

Excitement! Anticipation! Planning! 

Exercise!

Yes, exercise!  One of my quiet, secret dreams that I did not even commit to paper (hence making it a dream not a goal) since seeing Bruce and the band last March, was to be in the front row of the pit, with a sign that said "Hey Bruce, you inspired me to lose 20kgs!" 

Now that he's returning in 6 months, and that I've written it down for all the world to see, its a goal, not a dream.  I'd be happy to waste my 'sign request' on letting him know what a difference he's made in my life.

And its not too hard as goals go, as I've already lost 10kgs, so its really only 10 more to go! 9 if you are an optimist as most days I'm now 89 kgs.

But hey, 79 kgs is even better than 80 as a goal. I like it more, because it starts with 7 not 8!

My first steps are to ignore the sugar cravings I'm having, they seem to be a force of nature at the moment, but to counter them with at least my 2 litres of water a day and to do 30 minutes exercise every single day for the next month.  In the past few weeks I was increasing my Tai Chi, but at the expense of my walking, so I hovered at the same weight all month.

I'm also wanting to write a little blog entry every day.  For me right now, the number one way that I can organise my energy is to again focus on exercise and health, while the excitement is with me. Yes I also want to continue to finalise all the mountains of renovations (and clean washing) but at the moment I want to revisit the basics of exercise exercise exercise :)

Having said that, I have a short update on the general energy front. I was diagnosed with Iron Deficiency Anemia - and the other day when I didn't take my Iron supplement on time, oh boy. Flat me. But I dragged myself out of that and just got about my day 'pretending' to be managing, and pretty soon not only had I cleaned and swept the back verandah but I had Miss 2 out there painting pictures! 

Tonight we had campfire toast, marshmallows and garlic bread for dinner! Happy Mummy and happy children.

The boy and I also caught a TV interview with Bruce Springsteen and he has again asked to go to a concert! I am one proud and excited Mummy!

Indecision - a real threat to happiness

So here I sit, as I attempt to come to terms with the past few months lack of decisiveness on the issue of a European Bruce holiday, and wracked with agony over the correct date to hold my daughter's 2nd birthday party, and where.

And then I realise. I've been hit with the indecisiveness bug. That one that bites you on the derriere as soon as you let it creep back into your life.  And so began my Internet search for answers to party problem (the Bruce Springsteen problem now rests entirely on the outcome of a competition for tickets to Cardiff on 23rd July).

And I was first struck by this quote “Indecision is often worse than wrong action.” – Henry Ford

That's the crux of it isn't it? There is no point wavering from here till eternity wondering, or being in fear of being wrong.  It was a matter of just doing it.  Which solved my problem with the birthday party at least.  I made decisions. Plenty of them. First I would let / encourage the active participation of my elder children who want to be the ones throwing their sister a party. Going along with that theme, to keep their enthusiasm, I chose  the nearer party date, and for our home to be the location, despite my fears, because it would be easier for them.  Decision made, I figure in terms of parties it couldn't possibly go as wrong as my elder daughter's 3rd birthday party that had to be cancelled on the day (as some guests arrived) because her baby brother was born that morning at home!

As the day wore on, the links between this birthday party, my decreased happiness and my total lack of commitment to my 'dream' of seeing Bruce and the ESB in Europe became more obvious.  I see now that my uncertainty and tentativeness meant that I was never going to be going to Europe, I simply did not show the commitment and determination necessary.

I had walked straight into the problem identified by this website

However, the problem with being indecisive about the bigger things is that often, the window of opportunity to make a decision is limited and so if someone can’t make a decision for themselves, other people or changing circumstances make the decision for them.

That was me. Circumstances of less than a fortnight left of the European tour (and possibly the whole Wrecking Ball Tour) make it logistically almost impossible now to get the family to Europe.

So I reason with myself a little. I console myself that I've lost 13kgs, and that is a good thing. I argue that my house cleaning is still not completed, but that signs are promising as I'm making terrific progress. Most of all I apply the most basic reason - that it is really scary the idea of taking the family to Europe and that I've spent the money on children's school fees and sports tuition.

But I'm not at all impressed with my weeks of agony over the birthday party; and I'm certainly not looking forward to the next two weeks of hearing of the last tour gigs.  I don't like to think that had I been decisive, the stresses of the past weeks might've been the stresses of getting three children through an international airport to connecting flights, or of finding our accommodation in a strange country. But no.

So my Internet search led me to this page, where the following quote gives me pause for thought:

“A test of mental strength is the ability to take firm decisions. Indecision is always a sign of mental weakness. It shows there are unresolved conflicts within you. And conflicts undermine the integrity of the personality. If we remain in a state of indecision for a long time, instead of gaining strength we become weaker. To remain in a state of indecision and then to try to make your mind strong is stupid. We must be very decisive about small things. Then we find it easier to take decisions about bigger things. Even the smallest thing in life is to be done consciously, intelligently, decisively, coordinating all of the faculties – feeling, thinking, and willing. Cultivate good habits early in life. A well regulated life is of great help. If we follow a strict routine every day, many of the little problems in life will not create indecision and worries. Then we get more energy and time for bigger things. We must not lie in bed and go on thinking for half an hour, ‘Shall I get up or not?’ Either get up immediately or sleep for another half an hour, but do not remain in an indecisive state. Indecision is very harmful. Let not the little things of life nag you constantly and dissipate your energies.” Swami Avdheshanand.

So many factors there.  I recently searched on the emotional causes of rheumatoid arthritis, and funnily enough, it said unresolved conflicts!

Putting that little gem aside for a moment, the website suggests the following steps to improving that mental strength:

1. Spend a few days noticing when you are caught in the clutches of indecision – what types of things are bothering you? Are they small things or big things? How much time do you devote to make simple decisions?
2. Pick one thing to focus on, something that you constantly struggle with (it could be what time to get up in the morning, what to eat that day, what outfit to wear). Make sure it’s a small thing to start with so you don’t make it too difficult for yourself.
3. Next time you find yourself struggling to choose on your chosen subject, remind yourself mentally “I am a decisive person and I will not waste my time and energy with this.”
4. Now – simply pick one option. Make a decision quickly and commit to it. It doesn’t matter if it’s the right decision or not – just do it.
5. Let it go. Refrain from labouring about whether you made the right choice or not and move on. Do something immediately that really does matter to you – and if possible something that will make a positive difference to your life or to the lives of others.
- See more at: http://simplelifestrategies.com/5-steps-to-overcome-indecision/#sthash.5FZbFF6V.dpuf

Or, to follow the suggestion a friend made a few weeks ago about the housework. Decide to do SOME (e.g. start with just one thing like emptying the dishwasher) or decide not to. Don't agonise over everything, because that is a total waste of time. At least if I decide not to do housework, I'll be free to ENJOY whatever else I do instead, making it at least a fun use of my time :)

I've been totally missing this obvious common sense over Bruce Springsteen's Tour, and again about the birthday party ideas. Now I just need to make the most of where I am now.   I know I feel better for having made the decisions about the party, and with a light heart, rather than a doubting one. So far all the rest of the decisions about my little girl's party have come easier and easier because I'm committed to it.

I'll spend some time thinking about those 5 steps and about conflict!

A daily routine

What a novel idea!

I'm going to make an attempt at this in the coming weeks of the school holidays. So that I can be a 'real Mum', something I apparently have been slack at recently.

My idea of what goes into a daily routine would be:

Morning routine, consisting of breakfast, brushing teeth, getting dressed and putting on laundry & dishwasher.
Early morning cleaning focus - getting stuck into the often ignored projects, like cleaning out cupboards, sorting toys.
Mid-morning snack, followed by craft / food time with children - so while they're eating, I'm setting up for a late morning of entertaining cooking or construction
playtime for them, washing up / laundry folding / daily routine task time for me OR this is when we do errands / shopping needed for the evening's meal.
Lunch
post-lunch cleaning focus - tidy up and 'make nice' whatever room the morning was in
afternoon learning time with children - reading or playing, maybe toy sorting every afternoon (there are lots of toys)
Then afternoon tea, me cooking dinner, more general 'daily' tidying, including clean clothes put away from laundry to bedrooms.

Then tea time, showers, night-time routine. Read a book and tidy up all clothes and toys.

Little people to bed, wash up, adult night-time routine including taking out bin, cleaning the sink.

On days when I am left alone in the house I need another routine, more like:

1. Tackle major project
2. eat and relax
3. all 'daily' cleaning
4. either another major project or a significant 'regular cleaning' job, like scrubbing floors / vacuuming.
5. relax!


Thats what I'm going to go with for now, hopefully something like this will come to pass.

Taking care of yourself - an epiphany.

I've had an epiphany. Not a very pleasant one, but an incredibly poignant light bulb moment. I'm sitting in my broken down car, on the side of the highway, waiting now for over half an hour for a row truck to collect myself and my disabled car in the pouring rain.

I have been watching European concerts for Bruce Springsteen with increasing agitation and envy  (check this link for why); what if this is his last tour? What if he stops touring and goes home to New Jersey for the next 2 years? These thoughts are what fuels my desperation to see him one more time, while I can.

And then there it was. My 'oh hell' moment, when I realised that had I argued more, or better, 10 years ago to have my frequent flyer points reinstated after they expired when my credit card company stopped automatic affiliation with the frequent flyer points, then I would have enough for my family to travel to Europe. (This happened in the traumatic year my mother got ill and died, so I was not paying attention to such things until it was too late).

What this is teaching me is that to not take care of something might seem to only have 'imaginary' consequences, the reality is that I am now sitting in THAT moment, where my much saved, loved points would have transported me from my suburban existence and taken my whole family on an amazing overseas holiday. My consequence for not sticking up for myself 10 years ago is right now, this very minute, realising that yes, that vague time in the future does come around! It's like when you are young the idea that smoking will ruin your health is a vague notion at best - some imaginary calamitous future disease - it does come to pass!

Here's my tow truck - the consequence of not paying attention to my car - now it's broken :(

Lesson for me? Take care of things, all the things. Just like my health, the whole of my life is my responsibility and there are consequences to doing a half hearted job.  I knew that eventually this new sense of self-actualisation regarding my health must begin to permeate the other facets of my life; however I'd always imagined that the transition would be more instantaneous, in the way that seeing Bruce Springsteen in concert instantly transformed my perspective on my responsibility for my own health well-being occurred overnight.  I had imagined that overnight I would have the exact same goal oriented, no-setback accepted, driven and calm resolve about decluttering my house.  This somewhat obscure little 'light bulb moment' that annoyingly seems to require me to find every distasteful incomplete or neglected task in my life and place it as a matter of priority is not what I imagined as the next logical progression of realising my life is wholly my responsibility to live in a happy way.  It may take some getting used it, despite the way I already see parallels between the concept of 'jobs left undone' and the state of clutter in my house. I see many instances of too lazy to find a home for items, or too lazy to return items to their proper place; of jobs half done rather than completed.

Perhaps the link isn't so obscure after all, and this will have a significant affect on my life's clutter!

Pulling together and Being Prepared!

One of the most significant concepts for me since I began blogging is that of being prepared.  It was the subject of one of my very early posts as I reflected on my mother in law's incredible pre-preparation for just about anything.

Particularly now, as I am feeling more positive, happy, upbeat and capable than I have in years, I find myself reflecting on this concept of preparation.

Recently (during that quiet time when no blog posts appeared) my husband travelled away for work.  He was driving to a major regional town, about five hours away.   When he'd been gone 4 hours already, and I was mid-breakfast, mid-getting children to school, the whole trip hit a terrible snag in the form of my coming down with a very severe case of gastro. I couldn't move, and he was 4 hours away.  I am so grateful for his boss, who immediately drove him home again to look after the children, as I was so incapable.  I spent the next several days feeling quite off, but the worst passed that first day, and along with the sickness came some pretty significant realisations for me.

The first one was that there was no way that hubby could travel for work again, at least not until our youngest is a little more independent. We simply don't have a 'backup' network to call on, other than each other. This didn't take much contemplation, after the horrible hours waiting for him to arrive home, I'm not doing that again with such small children.

The other realisations however came hot on each others heels and do require a bit more contemplation and change.  After a very upset week, I realised that not only have I established a solid family routine since returning to working, but that this routine was hanging on by a thread. We simply aren't that used to it, haven't settled into it, or gotten comfortable enough with it that it tolerates much battering. The week I was at home sick threw the entire concept of 'calm', 'organised', and 'routine' out the proverbial window, it seemed at the time as though never to be seen again!  (luckily I'm more resilient than that and this week is going OK)

Hand in hand with how precariously our little family is balancing its 'routine' is the entire concept of being prepared! After all, if we are more 'prepared' then by extension our balancing act is more stable, and less likely to topple at the slightest adjustment required.

Which leads me to my focus for the moment. I am still determined to lose weight, keep exercising with the same intensity as in the last month or so, and still quite keen to keep my positive attitude, however I feel a little like the tough work of beginning those changes has been accomplished and I need to consider how being prepared will accentuate the positive attitude and exercise transformations. 

Firstly, simply being more prepared in the meals department will provide me with an even better daily diet to get the best nourishment without any excess sugary carbohydrates!

Being a step ahead of where I am now would mean having an idea of tomorrow's food, and it being in the fridge (its been a lean food prep week this week!); not running out of cat food; having photos uploaded every week; having activities ready for the children when they get home (OK that one is only if I turn into super-Mum!). It would also mean being on top of the mountains of paperwork for myself and my Dad. I feel like I'm drowning under papers at the moment, but will leave that conundrum for another day! I like the sound of being a step ahead, however for now, the tiniest fraction of being prepared that I see now is a bit less dramatic, but might give me a few hints about how to operate in a prepared way.  I've already noticed that the better my communication, the more we are able to negotiate through things as they crop up. Put another way, two grumpy snappy adults don't make great decisions!

Since the returning to all hands on deck working, we've established some routines that sort of work. Hubby does early mornings (when my arthritis still makes me a slow turtle) and drops big children at school before work; I take our little one to her various morning activities; we come home and she naps while I get housework done; the almost 2 hour pickup of big children happens at the end of nap-time; we have a very early tea when we get home; then homework after Daddy gets home and a bit of chaotic energy, then bedtime. This is what is working for us.  

Two times I am focusing on improving is the activities I get done while little miss takes her nap, and what I get done after hubby is home at night.

At the moment, I am happy that at nap time daily I seem to be managing to completely clean the floor off in the entry and kitchen as well as downstairs toys.  This is a bit of an extension of what I've achieved in the past, and this week I'm trying to work out how to extend past that point into uncharted cleaning territory.  I'm still not sure, but some experimenting is on the horizon to find the balance that will fit in my 2 hour time frame. 

In the evenings I am juggling between walking (its not practical at 9pm any longer due to the cold!); school homework; and cleaning!  I am using the early evening time to get into extra projects or washing up, whichever is needing doing more.  This is how I managed to get the floor scrubbed on Monday night, determination!

I need to refresh and revisit the concepts of this post about Working Smart. That's the essence of what is going on here, an attempt to make the obvious easier!

There is something else I'm realising as I go over all this while listening to Bruce Springsteen's Darkness on the Edge of Town album.  It's that I need to find a way to really ENJOY getting more prepared!  I remember when I was in Girl Guides, that my Guide Leader instilled in me, for the shortest moment, a flame of inspiration of REALLY wanting to 'Be Prepared" and obtain my Baden-Powell emblem, the highest achievement for a Girl Guide.  Years later, I feel I'm finally getting the point of all those badges and things. A sense of purpose about how I am going about this domestic life, to relish and delight in what is necessary.

I think I'd much rather relish and delight in more Bruce Springsteen concerts, but in order to do that I need my house to be respectable and presentable for house-sitters, so it's delighting in house cleaning for me in the interim.

Hang in there Bruce, I'm coming to a concert soon!

Still determined, still upbeat

Despite the past week being somewhat traumatic with extra bills, illness and other conundrums, I'm so proud of myself tonight to discover that the unstoppable post-Bruce spirit is still kicking, despite the knocks.  I am beginning to see glimmers of progress, where I am finally making inroads into all areas of my life, not just treading water.

After a 12 hour day at work I came home to a lovely dinner and happy children, making it easy to get into getting homework done with the bigger two, and elevating my calm levels.

So while hubby took the small ones to do groceries, I was determined to mop the floor, it's been put off for a very long while.  There was a moment of annoyance when I phone to find out where the bloke has left the dustpan and brush this time (he never ever ever puts it back where it belongs).  Hubby informs me its out in the pitch black near the shed!  So it was a quick return to the old days and sweeping up the dust into a piece of paper - does anyone remember how to do that?  Full steam ahead for mopping, until I discovered that we have no mop fittings!!!  No problem for determined woman - I just grabbed myself an old towel and a scrubbing brush and started burning those calories. 

An hour later, and some very tired muscles I have a very bleached, lavender smelling floor that is shining at me all sparkly-like.  In the end I was using my foot to scrub in the hallway to the laundry because my back and knees were protesting, but it all got finished just as hubby returned with 2 sleeping babies. 

A successful day :)

Happiness leads to better health

Happiness increases well-being.  This is one of the most interesting things I have learnt during the past months of self-reflection.

I've had psoriatic arthritis for five years. I've seen different doctors and two rheumatologists in that time. None of these learned folk have indicated to me that increasing happiness would have the slightest affect on my pain and disease.  Yet not only does it make a difference, but a profound, life-changing difference.

I was very aware, through experience, that 'stress' contributes to illness and disease.  Our negatively skewed health system acknowledges the bad lifestyle choices and circumstances, but completely overlooks the health promotion factor of happiness!  It never occurred to me to view the positive promotion of happiness as a way of limiting my disease!

Here is the story of what has happened to me to bring me to the realisation that being happy will change my life.

While on bed rest two years ago, when I was pregnant with our third child, I learned a lesson about acceptance. I learned to accept what I couldn't change, to relax despite chaos around me, and to preserve a piece of self-soothing calm. These were significant lessons for me. My baby's birth was tinged with a great deal of sadness, my Dad was in hospital (a different hospital from us!) 5 minutes up the street from me when our youngest was born. Then my family were sick and between one thing and another, Dad didn't meet his youngest grandchild until she was 2 weeks old. My delight in her existence has often been marked by a huge burden of caring for my Dad, his continuing illnesses falling mostly on my shoulders to assist with, and no family support for moving him either in with us, or to our neighbourhood to ease the burden.  Throughout all this, I have maintained a degree of calm, through learning to let go more and more, but not without some cost in terms of missing moments of peaceful joyfulness and delight at our small baby.  There is a sense of loss of some of those moments that I will not be able to get back, but it is that kind of new baby happiness that makes all the difference!

And then Bruce Springsteen happened, and like a bolt of lightning, my happiness levels skyrocketed. One of the most significant parts of this was the evaporation of my mid-life crisis. I'd been experiencing a degree of bleak thinking, as I have high blood pressure, and I'm caring for my Dad, whose high blood pressure is at the end stage of its affect on him, giving him vascular dementia, chronic renal failure and chronic heart failure.  It is a shocking thing to see him so frail, he was until the last couple of years incredibly robust and independent.  I am very conscious of my 'middle-age' and young family, and the combination of these factors often had me questioning my mortality, the inevitability of death for all of us, and the fact I felt that my time with my children was oh so limited (as my time with my father, and his fully faculties, had already almost run out). These are all valid concerns, but it took the song "We Are Alive" for me to face my biggest fear and realise that despite our brief time here, we are all part of a bigger humanity, and to draw comfort from that. I'm the kind of person who 'bucks up' when I realise that yes, the physicality of death is gruesome, but it is only partially the ending of my story. My story will pass in fragments on to others, and join the collective story that surpasses the individual.  I find great comfort in that.

Furthermore, as I've previously mentioned, Bruce Springsteen as a live performer is incredibly uplifting and inspiring. Not only for the boundless energy he exhibits, but for the infectious delight and enjoyment he so clearly wants to spread throughout the audience.  I am particularly amenable to charismatic influence, so not only did I take the enjoyment away, but I consciously went out of my way in the following days and weeks to build on the happiness I found in my first Springsteen concert.  This industriousness was just the beginning of the overflowing happiness to follow.

By chance, having stumbled across extra concert tickets for Melbourne, I saw him again, this time with a friend, in the GA, or standing 'pit' area.  I intended to enjoy myself and dance! 

Between Springsteen and my inspirationally fit friend, I realised that I was soley responsible for my life's current situation, I was at the helm, in charge and commander of my own self. This shift in perception away from being a 'victim' of various circumstances / disease / other people made a huge difference to my outlook. Suddenly I was extremely happy and light. I didn't hold onto grievances or sorrow, but between the eventual three concerts I attended, I simply became determined to continue to enjoy, to be the best me I could be!

My happiness overflowed. I smiled, I didn't shout or swear, I was calmer, because I was enjoying myself!  Arriving home I went out of my way to continue to be happy, to find the absurd and amusing and hold onto the post-concern silly grin whenever I could.  On days when things appeared to be going wrong, I looked on the bright side, I looked towards  solutions and never at the problems. Overall my satisfaction with my life would have gone from a  3/10 to an 8/10.

I was also walking between 15 and 30 minutes every day, going out with my favourite Springsteen music and putting a smile on my face while letting the exercise pump out the endorphins.

The most incredible thing happened!  My auto-immune disease began disappearing into the background of my life, pain levels plummetting and the visible psoriasis on my arms fading to scars.  Its not a pretty picture, but it illustrates the point :)
 

The past couple of week have been more difficult, this week since Mothers Day I've had a particularly nasty virus, so finishing off this blog post has been quite a reminder for me to take some time to find a happy place, for the sake of my health.

Household madness and other cleaning conundrums

Has three months of blogging helped me to keep the house cleaner? If I look at the question critically, then the answer would be not a great deal.  The state of the house is still very chaotic, my 'hot spots' where junk collects appear to have grown in size and number.  However overall there are a few positive differences that would not have happened without blogging.  These make the optimist in me say YES, blogging has made a difference!

The most obvious change is my entry. Having followed "Inspirational Thursday"  and taken the advice of my friend, I 'made over' the entry over a month ago.  And it is still looking pretty spiffy compared to the mess of bags and shoes on the floor that I had previously.

I am happy with that result!   The second change is more subtle, but possibly has a much greater affect on our household. Since blogging, and my Bruce Springsteen experience, I have been much calmer and happier. My husband has  therefore been calmer and happier, we have better routines and it has become unusual for the chaos to get as out of hand as it used to when we were under pressure.  Now that I think about it, I think I've achieved a little glimmer of 'being prepared', something I so admired in my mother in law during my first week of blogging.

The more time I take to contemplate my household management and cleaning, the more I realise that the progress I'm making has everything to do with my positive attitude.  It is amazing what can get done when you stop finding excuses and simply begin doing!  This is particularly inspirational to me today, as yesterday I was feeling a bit unwell, I felt my positive attitude and energy had left me, yet I managed to cook 3 meals for a weekly cook-up with my hubby, and still went for a 20 minute walk for exercise.  Pre-Bruce, pre-blog, neither of those things would have been achieved on a 'bad day'.  I would highly recommend blogging, or journaling to anyone who is struggling with progressing in any aspect of life. Writing things down and practising self reflection are incredibly powerful tools for positive change!

Motivational Thursday - Prepare for the weekend!

As my Thursday comes to an end, I'm setting myself an hour to prepare for the weekend and make the most of the inspiration of the original "motivational Thursday"

In that hour I'm going to spend 15 minutes giving the house a general once-over. Tidying up, making sure lunchboxes and clothes are ready for tomorrow, sweep the floors if I get time.

Then I'm spending 15 minutes going over what the amazing Flylady calls 'Hotspots' where all the junk of your universe collects. I'm going to honour myself by targetting those spots! For me that is the bottom of my stairs, the hallway and the kitchen table. There are more but I think those 3 will take me 15 minutes!

My last half hour is going to be spent going for a 15 minute walk to make sure that I'm physically energised and ready for the weekend, as well as renewing all the good exercise hormones!

Finally I'm going to spend 15 minutes doing something I thoroughly enjoy, for the sake of fun. It will probably be crochet as I'm almost done on another hat and would like to finish it.

I really need a good hat photographer!

 

A short blog tonight, but one that inspires and motivates I hope. Try taking one hour to nourish yourself and your environment. Be prepared (15 minutes tidy), honour yourself (clean hotspots), honour your body (exercise) and take time to nourish your spirit by doing something you love.

Happy Motivational Thursday!

Setting Achievable Goals - Life lesson Day 3

I've been very pleased with myself since the great Thursday of happiness (aka motivational Thursday) Since then, less than a month ago, I have managed to transform the look of 2 rooms that we use every day, the entry and E's space.

This week I've started on a third project, the 'Front Room'. This room used to be the living room. At one stage, when our roof was leaking and yet to be repaired, it was our bedroom and living room, many years ago. Now it has given itself over the main residence of the decrepit cat of all blindness. He hangs on in this little spot, we've kicked the children out of the room, so the TV went back upstairs and its no longer the living room. In a stroke of opportunistic genius, I've decided to transform it into my husband's 'cave', alongside the cat :)

However before I can get carried away with the idea of a home to put the thousand screwdrivers, nuts, bolts and other man-stuff that hubby leaves lying around all over the house; the whole room needs a thorough cleanup. A daunting task, as its been allowed to turn into a bit of a cesspit in recent months.

I spent a few days pottering, using the simple principle of leaving the room better than I found it, and not achieving a great deal. I really had no idea where to start. The solution came to me more as a desperate idea than a full-blown certainty. In order to give myself somewhere to simply BEGIN, I decided to break the cleaning down into sections. Normally I'd clean the floors first, but in this situation that seemed pointless as the floors were basically acquiring flotsam from the junk falling off the piled up surfaces. So I took my phone and photographed every surface area that was junked up. Sadly on its last legs (like the cat), my phone managed to make every photo a hazy milky tone. Here's an example:

It does a wonderful job of highlighting the junk, even with the surreal effect.

Surprisingly, as soon as I'd taken the photos, I was resolved to tackle all the surfaces first, and to finish as many as possible today. I remarked that it would be a miracle if I got through them all.

I should have had more faith because as I write this, all 5 areas of the room that were the same and worse than this have been totally cleaned off. The Wrecking Ball soundtrack helped, and it took the entire album to get through it all. I have one tiny nemesis of paperwork and fiddly rubbish in the bottom of the green 'Trofast' drawer in this picture. After finishing this blog, I'll be working on that till bedtime!

I've exceeded my expectations for the day, all by simply breaking down the job into smaller pieces that were not so daunting. There were still hurdles along the way, and plenty of interruptions and breaks. Having the photographs helped to keep me focussed on how I'd progressed, and finishing off one discreet area at a time was terrific motivation to move on to the next area and the next. I even did a lot of bargaining with myself, deciding I was going to stop when I finished the top of the bookcase, and was so inspired by finishing that I kept going and started on the couch, then moved on to everywhere else!

Even the deep freezer had a mountain of stuff piled on it.

Now I'm feeling invincible and ready to have the whole room spick and span tomorrow, ready for its new life as the 'cave'!

 

We put up these little storage racks in a random spot temporarily as having them in use somewhere was better than all the component parts lying around :) Plus they are now filled with things, mostly all the tiny bits of Lego lying around.

And the most wonderful bonus of the exercise was that I found the first ring hubby ever bought me, it is more sentimental than my wedding and engagement rings and had been missing for over a year!

I haven't set the goals for tomorrow's instalment yet, but I'm sure that making the job smaller with manageable sections will be the backbone of how I get through it!

Getting off my arse! Inspired to Exercise!

You might by now realise that I have a sizeable hoard of inspired feelings happening as a result of going to three Bruce Springsteen concerts. He and the band put on such marvellous shows and have such incredible positive energy that it’s hard not to bring home life lessons to apply. I already mentioned my amazement at Springsteen's energy in this post.

The most glaringly obvious lesson for me was that of health. As I sat on the first night I was amazed at the incredible vigour and energy of this man.  It wasn't until later that I found out he was 63 years old!  I was stunned, thrilled, and quite honestly put to shame at the pitiful state of my health by comparison. It was a sobering thought, as my own Dad, who was 63 when I was just 17, was possibly just as fit and vigorous at the same age, playing Badminton fixtures and doing hard physical work without breaking too much of a sweat. I have been complacent and lazy. There is no other way to describe it. I have indulged in the first-world habit of plenty, used my boring desk job as an excuse for sedentary behaviour and suffered the health consequences including rheumatoid arthritis and high blood pressure.

It seems obvious that turning forty this year is a sure indicator that theoretically my fittest years are behind me, and those to come will be harder health wise. I see no reason therefore to make them harder yet by holding onto all this excess weight, or to ever again blame my circumstances for what is quite simply, poor prioritising.

These revelations haven't all come from concert-going. Earlier this year I had a conversation with my doctor about the value of health.  I saw him in January after gaining considerable weight spending almost five weeks by my father's beside in hospital when he had pneumonia. I sat around on my arse enough in December to gain 10 kilograms. This didn't count Christmas foods as we had a salad picnic in the backyard on Christmas Day, because my father was still in hospital. It was just too much arse sitting, and probably too many sandwiches from the hospital cafeteria.

The result of this weight gain was an increase in my blood pressure, that required more medication. In January, I was given a form to have my cholesterol tested, in 6 weeks time, and told to go back home and make every day count with my diet and exercise. In that 6 weeks I lost 5 kilograms, my blood pressure improved, and I was walking on the beach and doing tai chi regularly with no excuses. I thought I was doing well. I aim for a raw diet (I miss, but that’s the idea), high in Kale and Cos Lettuce, and theoretically low in empty carbs and sugar (no bread, and little pasta or rice). That’s just the type of food intake that works for me. My cholesterol came back at a spectacularly healthy 3.5 and my doctor was thrilled, told me to go home and keep doing what I was doing.

March didn't prove quite so fruitful, my weight has hovered, I've missed Tai Chi classes, and I didn't go to the beach at all. Seeing Bruce Springsteen in Melbourne became as much a mission to get in 3 hours of non-stop dancing and jumping and arm waving as it was about the show! I was certain I needed that time, in the GA standing area to get the absolute most out of my experience. Sitting down for so much of the Brisbane concert really grated on me as a wasted opportunity (shame on your oldies who insisted my daughter and I stop dancing!)  Going back for a second session of exercise for Melbourne night 2 was a no-brainer for my health!

The Melbourne experience of 2 concerts and spending time with my exercise conscious friend taught me that I was more capable than I thought. I hadn't jumped up and down for years because of arthritic pain in my achilles. Yet mid-concert I found myself jumping up and down with excitement, and then again a few days later, playing in the park with my children!

I’m finding it very easy to keep up with the persistence to exercise and to eat healthily because of the realisation that there is such a large gap between my fitness, and that of someone more than 20 years my senior. I think that part of the inspiration comes from the Joie de Vivre that exudes from not only Bruce Springsteen, but the E Street Band, and indeed, the crowd at his concerts! I have been doing Tai Chi with a 92 year old, managing to just keep up with her and had never felt the same urgency to step up the pace. Tai Chi isn't really a discipline that encourages hastiness, although it has increased my fitness, it is surprisingly energetic, but very non-competitive.

Sharing my enthusiasm and determination with friends has provided me with some extra moral support to stay focussed this week.  Two of my friends are now exercise buddies, both from Melbourne, who are keeping me company on my fitness journey through texting reminders to walk, and motivating each other to keep at it, even on a 'lazy' day.

So far I don't seem to have achieved any shift in weight at all for the past 6 weeks or so, however, today a friend commented that I'd lost weight; she reasoned that I'd had 2 workouts at the concerts and that muscle weighs more than fat! I love her thinking! My skirt is doing its best to fall off over my hips, which is good enough for me, and the stubbornness of the scales is motivating me even more to see them shift back under 90 kilograms.

My big goal, which will take quite a bit to achieve, is to be 80 kilograms by my birthday at the end of winter! It’s been 8 years since I was that weight.  Having written down these goals, I realise that I am going to call in the assistance of a personal trainer, to at least help with planning a realistic strategy, in keeping with the wise words of this article, which notes that successful people do not simply repeat an activity over and over again, but seek expert feedback on their performance.  The article has contributed a great deal to my motivation, and partially inspired this previous post about 'Motivational Thursday". 

I'm looking forward to checking my progress in a few weeks time. At the moment I'm walking every day, and doing Tai Chi at least 4 hours a week. Whether my diet intake is strict enough to make a difference remains to be seen. I think I mostly eat healthily, however there is always the temptation of sweet biccies and too much dairy. This uncertainty is the reason I'm going to employ the principles of seeking expert feedback on my progress from a personal trainer, because a good trainer will give assistance with a food diary and be able to provide advice on nutrition as well as moral support.

I'll probably send the occasional tweet about exercise and update the blog if there is any significant news or change to the routine. I'm still a complete twitter noob, but you can find me here if you want to follow my day to day updates. 
I would love to hear your experiences with illness, exercise and health. Did anyone who went to all 10 Australian concerts spontaneously find themselves feelng fitter and more well I wonder? I know I came away standing taller and with a greater sense of belief in myself :) 

Toddler clothes revisited!

On what I'm calling post-concert inspiration Day 2, with a rainy outlok I abandoned further plans for the garden, and tackled the ever-growing pile of toddler toys, clothes and bits and bobs lying around in what I call E's space. My goal started out as simply tidying toys, but soon I'd turned it into a reorganising mission, moving her clothes into the area and giving it a complete overhaul.

This is the pile of toys, clothes and miscellaneous items that I've collected from the corners of the room. My husband's method of tidying up is to shove things towards the edge / corner. He's been quite busy in this room!

There used to be a chair here, with piles of stuff creeping up from the floor around it. This was post-cleanup about 1pm this afternoon.  By this stage, the song "Wrecking Ball" was reverberating in my head. Clearly that was today's motivational song, just as Red Headed Woman belonged to yesterday's yard work.

As I sorted through the too-small clothes, I photographed them in same-size sets, posted them on my Facebook 'shop' page and tidied them away in labelled ziplock bags for taking to the markets or charity.

This ziplock bag system for older baby clothes is something I've been searching for for years! Maybe I'm just slower than the rest, but I've often asked friends and relatives for inspiration for storage and sorting and not one person suggested "big ziplock bags". I'm thrilled, and now have a drawer full of these little fellows, totally sealed away from pests!

Drawer of  clothes ready to leave our house!

This is the pile about half-way. I had taken almost all the clothes out and sorted them; started on the toy sorting and the tallboy had been moved into the room. I was exhausted and not very motivated. Even Wrecking Ball didn't help much. So I called in reinforcements, posted progress in my Organising Energy Facebook group and made a phone call or two. What worked the most was the motivation not to leave the above photo as my last update on Facebook.  So I pushed on, and took another photo.

By the time I'd gotten this far I made some compromises. I decided to leave one box of toys unsorted but contained so that I'd get finished!

It wasn't long before I had finished! Today's big goal was sorting E's clothes - I have a drawer full of clothes bagged by size, all posted for sale, plus her drawers are in the same room so it's easy to access.

I've moved puzzles and entertaining toys up high so I can put them in the floor when I think entertainment is needed.

I have the book pile still to go but again, books all away in one place, too many so they'll be rotated into the normal bookcase, with only a few left out.

Miscellaneous toys in the cupboard, soft toys in one box, "baby" toys in another box; I still have one box to sift through (might be a stack of tossing out?)

Now I'm writing up this blog listening to some finer moments of Bruce Springsteen's tours (Twist and Shout with Paul McCartney, I Fought the Law and the Law Won).

Its time to go and put those toys back in their boxes, as in true children style, they've seen boxes of toys and decided to raid!  A moment for some education about keeping toys in their boxes!

Tomorrow I'm not sure what great things I'll acomplish, but I am pretty confident they'll be achieved to the soundtrack of another Springsteen anthem :)

Feel good lawnmowing!

I still haven't had much of a chance to sit down, I'm too busy acting on the post-Springsteen energy boom while its here.

Yesterday was a terrific success, as the whole family adjusted to being home, and my husband and I started to cope with the burden of being back in a less than ideal environment.

With the motivation of Springsteen songs running through my head, I got the whole lawn mowed in our 1/4 acre block!  A little bit of a contribution from hubby  to mow the messiest part down the back where weeds were growing 2 feet high and the place looks terrific.

You will be able to tell from the photos how much junk was lying around before the mowing, as there are white spots all over the lawn where bits and pieces were lying around for the whole week we were in Melbourne. 

The guinea pigs were a bit disappointed at no more long grass to nibble.

The back lawn looks a lot better now. It will take time for all the marks to grow out from the mess that was lying around.

This is the very messy bit that my husband mowed. And some of the junk that we just moved so we could mow around it.

My roses are going to look great against the lawn. The front garden needs a lot of weeding. I am tackling this by weeding a little every time I go out the front door. It seems to be stopping the situation from getting worse at least!

The best reward for my efforts, is that my 19 year old blind cat was able to find himself this patch of sunlight to warm up in today.

All I can say is Seize the Day, get off your ARSE and get things done. I'm sure if you're not an Aussie you could get off your ASS if you like too.  

Notes to self about life, the universe and Bruce

Before it all fades totally I am writing up some notes before I start gathering my thoughts all over again to dig deeper into the strange week that has been.

What I have learnt:

* to practice and seek feedback

* to not make excuses

* that a massage after a day at work would be good (musing on how nice that must be after hearing about Bruce Springsteen's post-concert routine)

* to let go and grab hold of what I have

Hopefully there will be and some other insights to follow. Thus far, the 'Bruce Springsteen Holiday" has left our little family with the following:

* no more milk drinks in the car - everyone drinks more water!

* no more excuses for not exercising and for eating poorly, I'm getting this weight and tossing it

* less swearing

* both my husband and myself are more aware of our tendency to call "poor me" like victims

* for me, letting go of whats gone, and grabbing hold of what is <- font="" important="" more="" nbsp="">

* strangely higher blood pressure for me!

* a LOT of motivation now that we are home, particularly for me

I'm sure there is more, but thats it from me for now. A more thorough post, including the update from our entry clean-up from a week ago will follow. Its all on the way!

Oh and I have a new goal - I want to meet someone who inspires me. By this I mean I want to get the inspired feeling, then meet said person. I suppose a second goal that is more noteworthy is to find something in everyone that inspires me.  Plenty of people inspire me and perhaps I don't appreciate it or reflect on it sufficiently because its not as 'in your face' as a 3 hour rock and soul concert.