Juggling all the balls

I've had my eldest child back for nearly a week now, and survived the transition after bringing her home Monday night and having a blood pressure spike on the same night.

What have I learnt during this past week of chaos, mayhem, stress, fun and frustration?  Not a lot I'm afraid. I've learnt that I feel like a hamster in a wheel, spinning round and round and achieving only a bad headache and temper to match. 

In contrast I've also enjoyed the small things. Because as so many times we are reminded by little inspirational memes, they ARE the big things.

I've hugged my boy so tight, I've giggled with my baby. I've heard my elder girl explain to me her economic theories of life. I've enjoyed a visit with Dad where we held a normal conversation about his living arrangements, and how we would both prefer he be somewhere else.

I've felt blessed by all my family this week, as well as infuriated!

And I have no answers. Not one. All my blogging, and theorising and mantras continue to boil down to the fact that I have to make a huge effort for happiness, that it doesn't just 'come' and that order in my life similarly doesn't come easily.

Interestingly I did see this YouTube clip about how as we get older, we see time as speeding up; and that if we increase our new, novel experiences, we improve our memory making, and our sense of time going more slowly, with more meaning.

This inspired me to stop complaining and to start moving. At the moment that means working a little more towards some travelling, and also to look at seeing more live music, getting ready for 2 birthday parties and doing something meaningful with this last week of school holidays.

Seems like a lot doesn't it?  It IS a lot. No wonder I'm tired just thinking about that, plus all the other details!  Maybe that's what I need to work on next / most of all - how to make everything SEEM simpler!  Get the 'clutter' out of my mind!