An open letter to the medical team treating my father

Dear Doctors

I wish to explain to you my position on my father's treatment while in hospital (and out of hospital for that matter).

Last night, Dad held out his arm, covered in little white dots from blood tests, and made some noises that sounded like he was trying to get a sentence out. I asked him to repeat himself. I couldn't believe what I heard! "Did you just say to me "I've got bad veins"?" I asked him.  He grinned at me with a twinkle in his eye!  Dad was making a joke about his situation, less than 24 hours after waking up from an unconscious state that had lasted 8 days.

My father has dementia. I don't care what 'category' of severity that you wish to classify it as, because your classifications mean nothing to my father, or to us, his family. What means something to us is that he contributes to our life in a positive way, despite the obvious challenges he presents in extra responsibilities. 

Even now, Dad is contributing to the world. In the last week he is teaching me - to never ever give up; to defy those in authority or who think they know better than you what you know to be your own truth. He has taught me during the past two years that there is ALWAYS something to appreciate.  He has inspired his nephew in Melbourne through his tenacity and determination.

My children when faced with his potential death, remember him still as the Grandad who loves them unconditionally, without judgement, and who continued to play with them, even as recently as playing ball early this year.

It is important to remember that he has had many opportunities to leave us through sickness and he chooses not to do so, coming back from the brink through sheer willpower alone.

I have had time to reflect on your suggestion that my father ought to not be treated for any new infections.  I contest that you are mistaken in this assertion.  Australia is a first world country. One of the markers of the wealth of this nation is that we are able to provide health care for our sick, ailing and elderly.  All of them. There should be no judgmental decisions made based on Dad's disease or what your own morality insists about who is worthy. The morality that is relevant here is that of Dad, and of us, his family.  You may be a doctor, but you are not my family's moral compass, nor is that your role. The truth is, that in a poorer country, with limited health resources, a decision about who is most deserving would be relevant, however we are not in that situation. If there is a fiscal problem with supply of medicine on the Sunshine Coast in 2014 then it is politicians we need to pressure, not the family of an elderly man who is determined to live.

Perhaps Dad can provide an important lesson to your young student doctors about the dangers of making assumptions about someone else's quality of life. As an elderly friend pointed out to me last night, there are fit young people in the world with better physical and mental abilities than Dad whose quality of life would be considered poorly, yet those people are not judged when being considered for treatment.  Why should you make this judgement when we are supposed to be a wealthy country?

So it is with delight at the tenacity of a single human being with great lessons still to impart to his family, that I request that you don't just pay lip service to the concept of treatment for my Dad, but you give him the full benefit of medical assistance, including fully discussing with us his necessary nutritional requirements, not just glucose which is making a pretense at assistance, but fully and openly discuss the path to improving Dad's health.  Let's leave the 'will he or won't he survive?' discussion aside, and give him the opportunity to make that decision for himself, with the best possible care from your team to support him.

Lurgy!

I've been struck down with .... a headcold!

Aside from general fatigue it's not so bad. What it has done is sapped some of my energy, but that is what improvisation and friends are for. I've used the latter to bolster my focus and remind me of the tasks that can't be compromised or put off - like talking with doctors.

As for improvisation, I am realising that what counts is every time you say "yes" I can do something about this that matters. Every yes is the door to another yes and more goodwill and good feelings.

So my yes for today was to do stretching exercises and squats while pushing my girl on the swing. I feel better, so does she and I have bought myself the goodwill to quickly type these thoughts out before lunch :)

Iron deficiency - spectacular ways to avoid blogging.

Well that explains a lot. Including why I don't seem to find time for blogging at the moment.  I just found out 'officially' that I have Iron Deficiency Anemia.  Which is a rather spectacular way of saying I'm not getting enough dietary Iron and its causing havoc with my whole system.  It does not mean that I am a bad wife / mother / housekeeper for not doing enough ironing, although I do have a 'no iron' motto in my house, it was not meant to refer to the dietary kind!

Way back in early April I visited my doctor. "I think I'm low in Iron." I told him.  At this point, what I'm learning now in hindsight, I should have stuck to my guns and listened to my body. It would have saved me months of feeling less than wonderful.  Instead I listened to a lovely, calm rational explanation from a man quoting a text book about why I should not be low in Iron.  Including reassuring me that my recent blood test results that showed a healthy haemoglobin level.

One of the things that can happen when you exercise (and breastfeed) is that your Iron stores get depleted. Or you don't absorb it as well. Something happens, I've read it on the net :)   Increasing exercise can equate to decreased Iron. Which is fine if you treat it straight away.

If you don't, the symptoms you can suffer with (and I did) include:

• fatigue
• mental fatigue (vague, memory loss)
• dizziness
• poor concentration
• hair loss
• irritability
• headache
• irregular heart rhythms

from the following websites - 
http://www.webmd.com/a-to-z-guides/iron-deficiency-anemia-topic-overview
http://www.nhlbi.nih.gov/health/health-topics/topics/ida/signs.html
http://bodyandhealth.canada.com/condition_info_details.asp?disease_id=274 

So although it is still possible, given my family history, that I'm menopausal, all of the symptoms above may also be related only to my Iron deficiency.   Which was only picked up after a second doctor sent me for an "Iron Studies" blood test (also known as Anemia Studies).  This brilliant site explains the difference nicely, stating that Serum Iron has little clinical value. What looks on the surface to be reasonable levels of Iron, when investigated fully, showed me as being anemic due to low Iron. So today I started a pharmacy only supplement of super-powered Iron tablets. I'm hoping these make a big difference to how I feel day to day. 

I'm impatient now for the extra steak and the supplements to kick in and give me a pick-me-up, but tonight's bloggy message is to believe in yourself, listen to your body and intuition and don't give up when faced with a setback in what you believe. I could have spent my winter (or part of it) in glorious European summertime, watching Bruce Springsteen perform if I had acted on my instinct and started taking Iron supplements in April instead of waiting for doctors to finally order a fully investigative set of tests and for those results to prove to them what I knew four months ago!

I've got my fingers crossed that restoring a healthy Iron level brings me back to normal energy levels, and moods.

Health & Happiness Challenge Day 1

I have started two new blog posts tonight, as well as a spreadsheet to help me keep track of my challenges for the week.

Today was an extra work day for me while the children saw cousins with their Nana and Pop. So it didn't leave a LOT of time for exercise (I did a quick 10 minute walk before being picked up from work), or for reaching out to friends (so I emailed photos of the children to the family).

My Bruce time was mostly during the walk, although I did have my mindful Bruce attitude all day, holding my head up higher, and being happy in myself.

I'm grateful for another 2 hour drive home without tears and wailing from the little children. I'm grateful my cat survived a second day without his midday medication.

My diet could have been better as I had iced coffeee (yum!); but I also have had 1/3 of my water and I've eaten plenty of Kale today.

I phoned my father, it was lovely to speak with him after a busy day yesterday, and to hear that the private physiotherapist I have in to see him weekly was a highlight of his day as she took him for a longer walk than the staff usually do.

My excel spreadsheet looks a little like this:

 

Was flat, now a new week of challenges!

I'm a bit frightened. I have psoriasis coming back. New outbreaks on my legs, and my arm scar tissue is doing the opposite of fading.

There are so many things that I can attribute it to, but my gut says it all boils down to that extra special spark of happiness post-Springsteen and the E-Street Band concerts. 

I know I've eaten badly, for enough weeks that it is affecting me, so perhaps it is that. I know my exercise has dropped off with the cold wet weather, illnesses and extra child at home.

I know that my stress levels have skyrocketed with various unavoidable dramatic personalities, including my son's exhausted end-of-term teacher-inspired nervousness at everything. 

What I don't know is how to make it better. I have written so many words in my searching for various motivations and direction, yet still manage to come to this place where things go horribly wrong despite my best intentions.

I feel like I need a plan, or a mantra and a plan. Goals. I find it difficult to cope with when my goals aren't met on time. I was pretty heartbroken when I didn't reach my goal weight at the end of April. Since then I've tried to be more flexible, but then, without a solid goal, it is easy to slowly seep into excuse making by default. That place where you don't actually make excuses, but you excuse yourself from having to be responsible. 

I did this for a whole week recently over my son's school troubles. In some ways the week of 'not dealing with it' gave me some breathing space, but on the other hand, what kind of emotional state was I already in that I needed to re-create an emotional buffer that took a week in the making?

Part of the problem might have been that I've let the blog get out of control, so instead of having a daily reflection on how I'm doing, its barely a weekly review.

I'm sure I did  this list only a few weeks ago - exercise, blog, Bruce, gratefulness, Tai Chi, friendship.  I think its time for another 'challenge' where I focus on these elements as well as the special school holiday additions of children-time and cleanout-time. Challenge week time it is. First challenge will be getting to the blog daily!

I also left out diet! After naming it as the second most likely cause of disease disaster, I need  to remember at least the basics of no bread, 3 bottles of water and some Kale every day.

Exercise and tai chi are self-explanatory - daily!

Bruce - get some of that him daily too!

Gratefulness - a daily record of what I'm grateful for, at LEAST.

Friendship - connect with my exercise mates, or phone a friend

Children and cleanup time is part of my school holiday plan to begin with.

Wow, that is a very structured, full kind of challenge.  Perhaps it is about time.  I do wonder where in there I'm going to fit other things, like the evil budget word, or following up to fix my Dad's hearing aids.  So so many things. 

First a little bit of Tai Chi and a little bit of gratitude followed by the necessary fixing clothes for work tomorrow.

I hope you've made it this far through this very inwards and reflective journal for today!

If so, how wonderful is this? This is Evan's man-hug, from his sign request for the same.  It might seem crazily out of context, but its here because Evan's story makes me smile, and reminds me of how amazing it feels to be so close to someone who has such incredible energy and zest and shares that on such a magnificent scale.

Today I'm grateful that Evan shared his moment with so many Brucebuds.  I'm especially grateful to get home at night with two happy children (as compared to the screaming to get out of the car variety). I'm also grateful that my cat did ok by himself for the day. 

What are you grateful for today?

EDIT: note to self for this week - turn out the light!

Regaining Happiness - Blogging

This is instalment #3 about the adventure to reclaim the happy calm state from the month of April.

One of the factors contributing to my sense of well-being in the past months has certainly been the act of blogging. I'm fascinated by what makes me tick, by the dynamic that exists that causes me to struggle with expending my energy in sensible ways, and productively.  Blogging helps me to see not only what is happening, but what I'd like to be happening, and finally, I find it incredibly helpful as a tool of reflection, to be able to document the highs and lows, the way I was thinking at a particular time, the repetitive behaviour, a simple reminder of how I'd like to be!

In the past month, my blog posts have decreased from 'most days' to 'most weeks'. I went back to work and so did my husband, leaving so much less time for these quick 15 minute blog updates during the day. The novelty had probably worn off after a honeymoon period, and in addition, I didn't feel like I was doing 'new things' worth blogging about (which wasn't true but it's an interesting reflection on the negativity creeping back into my life!)

Once again, I am shocked and amazed by my tiny bit of internet research. Research indicates that journalling (which is essentially what blogging is) "decreases the symptoms of asthma and rheumatoid arthritis"

Whoa! So without realising it, my blogging has been a contributing factor to the reduction of my arthritic pain. Combined with the gratitude, Bruce and exercise, I've been following a near-perfect disease prevention formula!  How incredible and amazing is that?

So in terms of increasing happiness, and maintaining it, apparently blogging or journalling are right up there with simple ways to get the happiness level higher!

Here are some of the links I have found fascinating to read

Journalling to reduce trauma

Benefits of Journalling

Health Benefits of Journalling

Alongside the health benefits and happiness boosting effect journalling acts as a tool for redirection of my thoughts and therefore my future actions. For example, as soon as I began the blog for the first part of this series of 'reclaiming happiness' I realised that I wanted to contribute smaller daily blogs to help me get back into the swing of blogging.

It looks like blogging and Bruce, exercise and gratitude are going to continue to be part of my daily life, for the sake of my health and sanity.

Regaining Happiness - Exercise

Earlier this week I blogged about needing to regain that happiness from last month. As it turns out exercise is a big deal when it comes  to being happy. And, I discovered last night, so is Tai Chi specifically, so I'll talk a little about both here today.

Exercise
It is amazing how I can be a cursing ranting mess, leave the house for a half hour walk, and return with an incredible sense of calm and peace.  I came to the conclusion that my family vastly prefer the version of me with that sense of peace and calm exuding from within to the alternative grouchy snappy duck!  So the self-fulfilling nature of getting enough exercise means that not only will I feel good, but so will those around me, so then I'll be less irritated by the universe and everyone in the family will be basking in the rays of happiness as they were post-Springsteen. Thats the theory :)

Apparently the practice is much like the theory.  This article says that on any given day, happiness is increased as long as exercise has taken place. Thats the gist of what it says, I'm sure! Quite remarkable. So simple its stupifying.

I have incorporated taking my boy for a walk a few times a week as well. I don't get the distances on those days but he keeps up a sharp pace and the conversation and time talking with him are an incredible payoff.  Plus it gives him the idea that walking with family is a fantastic way to exercise!!!!

This isn't really about the weight loss, but overall my exercise does have that primary purpose, so its worth mentioning that I've reached my target weight of 90kgs and now its time to maintain it at the very least, although I do want to get down another 5kg goal at a time as soon as sickness stops lurking with my husband who can't do without me for a 45 minute walk when he has man-flu!

Tai Chi
I began Tai Chi classes in early 2012, with the Taoist Tai Chi Society.  My Tai Chi lesson of this week is that Tai Chi singlehandedly contributes to my lower blood pressure, my sense of calm, my posture (I literally leave classes taller!) and my attitude.   

I'm not alone.  Tai Chi has been shown to improve circulation, lower high blood pressure, improve balance and posture, and reduce stress.  It also reduces joint pain, increases flexibility and lowers Cholesterol! 

I'm now re-committed to going to Tai Chi at least twice a week to continue to maintain that sense of calm and relaxation, as well as the terrific physical benefits.

Happiness leads to better health

Happiness increases well-being.  This is one of the most interesting things I have learnt during the past months of self-reflection.

I've had psoriatic arthritis for five years. I've seen different doctors and two rheumatologists in that time. None of these learned folk have indicated to me that increasing happiness would have the slightest affect on my pain and disease.  Yet not only does it make a difference, but a profound, life-changing difference.

I was very aware, through experience, that 'stress' contributes to illness and disease.  Our negatively skewed health system acknowledges the bad lifestyle choices and circumstances, but completely overlooks the health promotion factor of happiness!  It never occurred to me to view the positive promotion of happiness as a way of limiting my disease!

Here is the story of what has happened to me to bring me to the realisation that being happy will change my life.

While on bed rest two years ago, when I was pregnant with our third child, I learned a lesson about acceptance. I learned to accept what I couldn't change, to relax despite chaos around me, and to preserve a piece of self-soothing calm. These were significant lessons for me. My baby's birth was tinged with a great deal of sadness, my Dad was in hospital (a different hospital from us!) 5 minutes up the street from me when our youngest was born. Then my family were sick and between one thing and another, Dad didn't meet his youngest grandchild until she was 2 weeks old. My delight in her existence has often been marked by a huge burden of caring for my Dad, his continuing illnesses falling mostly on my shoulders to assist with, and no family support for moving him either in with us, or to our neighbourhood to ease the burden.  Throughout all this, I have maintained a degree of calm, through learning to let go more and more, but not without some cost in terms of missing moments of peaceful joyfulness and delight at our small baby.  There is a sense of loss of some of those moments that I will not be able to get back, but it is that kind of new baby happiness that makes all the difference!

And then Bruce Springsteen happened, and like a bolt of lightning, my happiness levels skyrocketed. One of the most significant parts of this was the evaporation of my mid-life crisis. I'd been experiencing a degree of bleak thinking, as I have high blood pressure, and I'm caring for my Dad, whose high blood pressure is at the end stage of its affect on him, giving him vascular dementia, chronic renal failure and chronic heart failure.  It is a shocking thing to see him so frail, he was until the last couple of years incredibly robust and independent.  I am very conscious of my 'middle-age' and young family, and the combination of these factors often had me questioning my mortality, the inevitability of death for all of us, and the fact I felt that my time with my children was oh so limited (as my time with my father, and his fully faculties, had already almost run out). These are all valid concerns, but it took the song "We Are Alive" for me to face my biggest fear and realise that despite our brief time here, we are all part of a bigger humanity, and to draw comfort from that. I'm the kind of person who 'bucks up' when I realise that yes, the physicality of death is gruesome, but it is only partially the ending of my story. My story will pass in fragments on to others, and join the collective story that surpasses the individual.  I find great comfort in that.

Furthermore, as I've previously mentioned, Bruce Springsteen as a live performer is incredibly uplifting and inspiring. Not only for the boundless energy he exhibits, but for the infectious delight and enjoyment he so clearly wants to spread throughout the audience.  I am particularly amenable to charismatic influence, so not only did I take the enjoyment away, but I consciously went out of my way in the following days and weeks to build on the happiness I found in my first Springsteen concert.  This industriousness was just the beginning of the overflowing happiness to follow.

By chance, having stumbled across extra concert tickets for Melbourne, I saw him again, this time with a friend, in the GA, or standing 'pit' area.  I intended to enjoy myself and dance! 

Between Springsteen and my inspirationally fit friend, I realised that I was soley responsible for my life's current situation, I was at the helm, in charge and commander of my own self. This shift in perception away from being a 'victim' of various circumstances / disease / other people made a huge difference to my outlook. Suddenly I was extremely happy and light. I didn't hold onto grievances or sorrow, but between the eventual three concerts I attended, I simply became determined to continue to enjoy, to be the best me I could be!

My happiness overflowed. I smiled, I didn't shout or swear, I was calmer, because I was enjoying myself!  Arriving home I went out of my way to continue to be happy, to find the absurd and amusing and hold onto the post-concern silly grin whenever I could.  On days when things appeared to be going wrong, I looked on the bright side, I looked towards  solutions and never at the problems. Overall my satisfaction with my life would have gone from a  3/10 to an 8/10.

I was also walking between 15 and 30 minutes every day, going out with my favourite Springsteen music and putting a smile on my face while letting the exercise pump out the endorphins.

The most incredible thing happened!  My auto-immune disease began disappearing into the background of my life, pain levels plummetting and the visible psoriasis on my arms fading to scars.  Its not a pretty picture, but it illustrates the point :)
 

The past couple of week have been more difficult, this week since Mothers Day I've had a particularly nasty virus, so finishing off this blog post has been quite a reminder for me to take some time to find a happy place, for the sake of my health.

What you think will happen, does!

I'm incredibly shocked at how pervasive this truth is.  Yesterday was one of those days, I woke up out of sorts, found fault with many things, had a few things go wrong, and was in an established bad mood before even getting in the car for school drop-off. After that it was an uphill battle to find the good in the day!

And what a day it turned out to be! Despite a very enjoyable hour in the middle of the day with my good friend and toddler listening to, discussing and dancing to all things Springsteen (and Pete Murray), it wasn't long before one more inconvenience threw me for six again!

In the end, I realised that I just needed to get through the day, any which way, and I gave myself permission to just let it go. I ate junk food and didn't exercise.  Not because I can afford to do that, but because I realised I would start the next day knowing I needed to exercise even more!

One thing I managed to do, was make a simple change to improve my morning, with hubby doing school drop-off before work. This made all the difference this morning, and I woke up in a great deal of pain (negativity breeds pain for auto-immune disease, I'm sure), but didn't let it get to me, I've taken paracetamol and done 15 minutes Tai Chi and the pain is almost gone!

I'm so glad that I was able to let go of yesterday, make some improvements that I felt would give today more chance at being positive, and so far, at 8:30am, its looking like being an altogether pleasant and productive day!

As I type this I am realising, that despite my awful mood yesterday, I still strived, almost all day, to see the positive, to create solutions.  They may not have worked yesterday, but those positive thoughts did pave the way for today to work out better, I gave myself a chance to make sure today was going to be ok!  Not only with school drop-off, but I made plans to go to a playgroup this morning, and have been thinking good things about that since yesterday afternoon. I've been thinking positive about school pick-up time, seeing the good in it rather than the inconvenience of lugging my poor toddler about in and out of the car.  I also held onto my 'integrity' - this kept me centred, despite feeling out of control at times!

It takes repetitive, consistent, and even more repetitive positive attitude sometimes. And we can't be constantly happy, sometimes we get sad, or mad; but the backbone of believing and self-talk that positive things are possible, and are even happening right now makes all the difference, sometimes not immediately, but the more 'looking on the bright side' the more likely that the happy will return more quickly after a bad moment / day. I need to remember the bright side side!

There  will be more to come about the positive, solution oriented attitude. It makes all the difference! 

Today is wonderful. My daughter is dancing to Bruce Springsteen, and I am 900 grams off my goal weight for April :)

Keeping up the positive Energy - Day 2

Today was again very taxing in terms of assisting and advocating for Dad in hospital.  It was also the last day of the school holidays, and neither of my schoolchildren are fans of school. So an important day to get right for the family.

And fortunately it turned out well. A good night's sleep went a long way to keep me functioning today, as did the excellent meals my hubby provided.  After that it was all about emotional energy, knowing when to push myself and knowing when I needed to just stop.

In terms of overall inspiration / working out a strategy to use in the future, I haven't had much time or opportunity to contemplate how to improve my emotional resilience, but today I did get it mostly right. I also found this extremely apt link in my facebook feed tonight, about how to assist someone through illness or crisis. The premise of which is to send only comfort in the direction of the people in the midst of the problem.  I'm close to the middle of my Dad's health concerns, so its a warning message to me to avoid people who can't help  but throw their issues in my face when it isn't an appropriate time.  I think that concept goes into the 'think about it later' basket as its a very important concern and relevant to how I cope emotionally when under pressure.

If there was a big lesson I feel I learnt today, it would be to let the emotions out, the raw emotions, the tears. I was only able to do that with the help of some incredibly enthusiastic people on Facebook. I asked the Bruce Springsteen fans group page this question:

so I need some info.. whats your favourite uplifting Springsteensong for ultra stressed days?




The replies are still coming in, but the very first, lightning fast response was "Trapped" I'm sure Trapped is about a relationship, but the concept of being utterly trapped is relevant here. There is no way I'd leave Dad to face the haphazard care of random doctors without a voice  to explain to them all the things that need explaining in ways that he can no longer articulate.  Trapped brought tears to my eyes, and a melancholy relief that it was a temporary situation.

And then there were more replies, and I felt surrounded by the helpfulness and friendliness as well as some terrific music.  Soon my hubby was playing the Jethro Tull song, "loccomotive breath" that he felt suited his mood.  And my family were ready and out the door to visit the beach, with all of us feeling happy and light, despite the circumstances.  Sometimes its about letting the feelings feel.

Hubby has really done his bit with juggling the caring for children, also advocating for Dad, and thinking ahead (normally not his strong suit!). He'd picked a beachside waterpark for our afternoon adventure and soon everyone was having a great time! 

I had three walks along the beach and foreshore with family in tow. One evening walk where the big children had fun being 'ghosts' and saying "boo" from behind trees.   We all relaxed and enjoyed our last day of holidays, even though the outing started late, it was thoroughly enjoyed and we did not miss out entirely on the beautiful sunshine today.

Sunset listening to the ocean was a welcome relaxation and we arrived home with sleeping children to find that Dad's condition has improved marginally.  Which leaves us at least relaxed and ready to organise ourselves for the big school adventure to start again tomorrow.

Getting off my arse! Inspired to Exercise!

You might by now realise that I have a sizeable hoard of inspired feelings happening as a result of going to three Bruce Springsteen concerts. He and the band put on such marvellous shows and have such incredible positive energy that it’s hard not to bring home life lessons to apply. I already mentioned my amazement at Springsteen's energy in this post.

The most glaringly obvious lesson for me was that of health. As I sat on the first night I was amazed at the incredible vigour and energy of this man.  It wasn't until later that I found out he was 63 years old!  I was stunned, thrilled, and quite honestly put to shame at the pitiful state of my health by comparison. It was a sobering thought, as my own Dad, who was 63 when I was just 17, was possibly just as fit and vigorous at the same age, playing Badminton fixtures and doing hard physical work without breaking too much of a sweat. I have been complacent and lazy. There is no other way to describe it. I have indulged in the first-world habit of plenty, used my boring desk job as an excuse for sedentary behaviour and suffered the health consequences including rheumatoid arthritis and high blood pressure.

It seems obvious that turning forty this year is a sure indicator that theoretically my fittest years are behind me, and those to come will be harder health wise. I see no reason therefore to make them harder yet by holding onto all this excess weight, or to ever again blame my circumstances for what is quite simply, poor prioritising.

These revelations haven't all come from concert-going. Earlier this year I had a conversation with my doctor about the value of health.  I saw him in January after gaining considerable weight spending almost five weeks by my father's beside in hospital when he had pneumonia. I sat around on my arse enough in December to gain 10 kilograms. This didn't count Christmas foods as we had a salad picnic in the backyard on Christmas Day, because my father was still in hospital. It was just too much arse sitting, and probably too many sandwiches from the hospital cafeteria.

The result of this weight gain was an increase in my blood pressure, that required more medication. In January, I was given a form to have my cholesterol tested, in 6 weeks time, and told to go back home and make every day count with my diet and exercise. In that 6 weeks I lost 5 kilograms, my blood pressure improved, and I was walking on the beach and doing tai chi regularly with no excuses. I thought I was doing well. I aim for a raw diet (I miss, but that’s the idea), high in Kale and Cos Lettuce, and theoretically low in empty carbs and sugar (no bread, and little pasta or rice). That’s just the type of food intake that works for me. My cholesterol came back at a spectacularly healthy 3.5 and my doctor was thrilled, told me to go home and keep doing what I was doing.

March didn't prove quite so fruitful, my weight has hovered, I've missed Tai Chi classes, and I didn't go to the beach at all. Seeing Bruce Springsteen in Melbourne became as much a mission to get in 3 hours of non-stop dancing and jumping and arm waving as it was about the show! I was certain I needed that time, in the GA standing area to get the absolute most out of my experience. Sitting down for so much of the Brisbane concert really grated on me as a wasted opportunity (shame on your oldies who insisted my daughter and I stop dancing!)  Going back for a second session of exercise for Melbourne night 2 was a no-brainer for my health!

The Melbourne experience of 2 concerts and spending time with my exercise conscious friend taught me that I was more capable than I thought. I hadn't jumped up and down for years because of arthritic pain in my achilles. Yet mid-concert I found myself jumping up and down with excitement, and then again a few days later, playing in the park with my children!

I’m finding it very easy to keep up with the persistence to exercise and to eat healthily because of the realisation that there is such a large gap between my fitness, and that of someone more than 20 years my senior. I think that part of the inspiration comes from the Joie de Vivre that exudes from not only Bruce Springsteen, but the E Street Band, and indeed, the crowd at his concerts! I have been doing Tai Chi with a 92 year old, managing to just keep up with her and had never felt the same urgency to step up the pace. Tai Chi isn't really a discipline that encourages hastiness, although it has increased my fitness, it is surprisingly energetic, but very non-competitive.

Sharing my enthusiasm and determination with friends has provided me with some extra moral support to stay focussed this week.  Two of my friends are now exercise buddies, both from Melbourne, who are keeping me company on my fitness journey through texting reminders to walk, and motivating each other to keep at it, even on a 'lazy' day.

So far I don't seem to have achieved any shift in weight at all for the past 6 weeks or so, however, today a friend commented that I'd lost weight; she reasoned that I'd had 2 workouts at the concerts and that muscle weighs more than fat! I love her thinking! My skirt is doing its best to fall off over my hips, which is good enough for me, and the stubbornness of the scales is motivating me even more to see them shift back under 90 kilograms.

My big goal, which will take quite a bit to achieve, is to be 80 kilograms by my birthday at the end of winter! It’s been 8 years since I was that weight.  Having written down these goals, I realise that I am going to call in the assistance of a personal trainer, to at least help with planning a realistic strategy, in keeping with the wise words of this article, which notes that successful people do not simply repeat an activity over and over again, but seek expert feedback on their performance.  The article has contributed a great deal to my motivation, and partially inspired this previous post about 'Motivational Thursday". 

I'm looking forward to checking my progress in a few weeks time. At the moment I'm walking every day, and doing Tai Chi at least 4 hours a week. Whether my diet intake is strict enough to make a difference remains to be seen. I think I mostly eat healthily, however there is always the temptation of sweet biccies and too much dairy. This uncertainty is the reason I'm going to employ the principles of seeking expert feedback on my progress from a personal trainer, because a good trainer will give assistance with a food diary and be able to provide advice on nutrition as well as moral support.

I'll probably send the occasional tweet about exercise and update the blog if there is any significant news or change to the routine. I'm still a complete twitter noob, but you can find me here if you want to follow my day to day updates. 
I would love to hear your experiences with illness, exercise and health. Did anyone who went to all 10 Australian concerts spontaneously find themselves feelng fitter and more well I wonder? I know I came away standing taller and with a greater sense of belief in myself :) 

Keeping a Healthy Family

Right now I have three sick children, my husband is unwell and I'd be sick too if I wasn't so busy looking after them all. It occurred to me that before our baby was born, we always managed to NOT spread germs through the whole family.

A survey of friends on Facebook has triggered my memory banks and added to the ideas for keeping well and avoiding the spread of infection. Here are my favourites:

Prevention
Use a hand sanitiser or nappy wipe to clean hands every time children get into the car from school or other outings. Wash hands before food and after the toilet. NB This is also a shameless plug for Epoch Hand Sanitiser, because you can purchase them through me. Or so it is rumoured, I'm still a complete novice as a distributor!

Keep a healthy family that drinks plenty of water (I need to be checking water bottles every afternoon as neither of my schoolchildren drink enough water at school), with plenty of garlic and vitamin C in their diets and plenty of sleep for everyone. As much as humanly possible. At least keep an eye out for major catastrophes in the healthy water / food / rest department and make an attempt to pick up the health boosting to counteract any unhealthy habits.

Last Minute Prevention
I like to think of this group of tips as 'last minute prevention' as they work best if you begin them at the first sign of sniffles, or fatigue or any kind of unwell-ness in the family. What I've learnt this past year is that timing of response is everything. Leaving it until there is one completely ill child before beginning these strategies is unlikely to stop other's catching their illness.  This is where I've been slipping up since having a third baby.

Quarrantine the child who is feeling off-colour into a room by themselves doing a quiet activity, keep that room aired well and keep their fluids up as well as whatever health boosting food you can get them to eat!  Keeping them away from other children will minimise the spread of illness. This is a strategy we used for years with a great deal of success and it is only since we stopped quarantining that we've had illness go throughout the family.

Clean all the things! As soon as someone seems ill, make sure all the washing up is cleared away (I still tend to struggle through the last few things that pop up), get out the antiseptic (we use a very mild bleach with no additives) and mop the floors, wipe surfaces (we use Vanilla Fresh), spray the air and anywhere you like with Eucalyptus Spray. Change pillowcases and sheets and wash in warm water with a few drops of Eucalyptus oil.

Make Chicken Soup - its proven to work, so soup up!

So thats my plan. Be prepared with a prevention strategy, especially considering the stress our family are under at the moment. And follow up more quickly with last-minute prevention is one of us starts to look a bit peaky.  And remember that for people prone to allergies, these transition seasons of Autumn and Spring are the worst for pollens and allergens in the air. So its a good idea to be on the lookout for early signs of illness as the weather changes.

None of these tips replace seeking medical assistance for illness. These are ideas for health promotion, based on personal experiences.


 

The continuance of clean

Another weekend approaches and I'm glad to say that our house is looking pretty good. By comparison to how it normally looks that is.  We still look a little like we might be making the effort to join the hoarders show, but not quite making the grade.

Strangely I'm suffering from a fair chunk of fatigue, even when I am taking arthritis medication, so I am finding that frustrating.  But it is incredible how much difference it makes to keeping an area clean if you can get it back to a clean state to begin with.

Our entry is now devoid of all floor-based muck and junk. Which makes tidying in there so simple - anything on the floor doesn't belong in the room, with step 2 being straight into sweeping and mopping!

What I'm finding is that the everyday work of laundry and washing up never end or ease so although I'm feeling tired, I'm keeping up with those things while my husband is getting into the cleaning up / decluttering.  I'm happy with that, because normally what would happen when I'm feeling this low is that the rest of the house would go to seed and become very untidy (or like a bomb hit it); while I dragged myself through the laundry and washing up basics.

Is there any rhyme or reason to our new cleanliness? The obvious is my husbands contribution, but in addition to that we've also had visitors again yesterday. I think keeping a constant supply of people visiting the house means that we do keep up that little bit of extra effort. Yes the state of the house should be worth the effort for ourselves, but there is such a strong inbuilt tendency to 'make nice' for other people that why not take advantage of that, to work to our own benefit?

Keeping it all together

In theory I have a system for keeping it all together. My life that is. And my husband's, our childrens' and my father's lives.  Its the calendar function on the iphone and I am still shocked at how well it works - I put EVERYTHING into that little machine now. All appointments, school functions, TV Shows I want to watch, and all the other little and big things. 

Today it feels like all I am acomplishing with it is keeping track of the things I can't keep up with! The doctor's appointments I've had to cancel, the day out with my father that isn't going to happen because I can't access all the equipment I need for him, and what feels like a million other things at the moment.

I simply do not know how to keep up with the commitments in my life. Perhaps today I went off the rails a bit sideways with some upsetting phone calls, or maybe I was exhausted after hauling a toddler around a dairy farm yesterday in the Ergo Carrier while keeping track of a bunch of 4 and 5 year olds!  I'm not sure.

What I do know is that I need to work harder on routines, especially a morning and evening list, similar to flylady, but one that suits me.  I need this quickly, so that the next time my husband decides to use a blade to cut out cardboard squares and slice a tendon, I'm less thrown by the three days of chaos that ensues.  He's fine by the way, tendon is healed really well.  I'm still unimpressed he was playing around with the crafty stuff for himself instead of playing the 'clean floor game' like I asked him to when I was dragged off to rescue my father who phoned because he was in so much pain and the staff wouldn't / hadn't given him painkillers all day.  One thing that I did learn, thanks to a random tune on my phone whilst upset prior to the dairy farm trek is to:

I need to play every morning in the car, as I'm not a fan of school drop-off.

Mould and mildew go away!!!

Todays post is all about mould - I figure that for south east Queensland where I feel it's a very topical subject! We've had 2 floods in one month and it's still raining!

 So I'll share what I know with you about mould prevention and removal.

Annoyingly the first thing I learnt is that number onerous prevention is cleanliness and lack of dust. A wise friend informed me, and of course it makes sense when you think about it, that mould will form on any dirt or dust ANY! Which is a real bugger if you are like me and not the perfect housekeeper! But I'll come back to this because there is something eke I nee to say about mould prevention - you might think it obvious, but of you do, perhaps you're not quite on the same page of the cleaning journey as me!

So the second thing I have to say about mould prevention is this: do not leave things in areas where they might go mouldy. This list includes wet towels in the laundry basket, sponges in a damp area like in the sink, or in my case, ANYTHING on the back verandah of the house, where mould will spring fromm nowhere and invade anything in its path! It might mean don't leave bath toys in a container on the bathroom floor or even don't leave you dirty clothes in the bathroom. You know if there's a spot in your house prone to moulding up.

Go now and fix these problem areas!!! Save and rescue your items from mould!!!  If its too late however, and the demon black gunk has set it, then here are the mould removing strategies that I know of, I'm sure there are more on google. Rather than go through the types of items, I'm going to list my knowledge of mould fighting super stuff - all of which require the use of gloves when applying, in no particular order (but with numbers because I like them):

1. Clove Oil.
Obtained: from the local health food store, or chemist.  I have no idea why  these people stock it!  Uses: I've put it in soaks to remove mould with varying success, also between 2 and several drops in the wash to prevent or remove stains, I wash in hot water, but this could be wrong!   Anyway here are 3 more mould and clove tip links.  ABC North Queensland have this article.  A Sydney blogger suggests clove oil to clean hard surfaces and gives more information of the properties of clove oil here.  The Australian Whirlpool forums have some terrific answers about mould and clove oil here.

2. Bicarbonate of Soda and Vinegar
Obtained: from the grocery store.
Uses: I have used them in the following way to keep a shower clean and also to clean off a significant outdoor verandah area. It lasted about 18 months to 2 years.  Step 1, wipe away excess mould. Step 2: make a paste with warm water and bicarb, scrub mouldy area. Step 3: using hot water and vinegar wash down area.  This seemed to work a treat to clean it right up.

The sites above also encourage use of bicarb / vinegar with clove oil, which makes sense.


You can also make a scrubbing paste with bicarb to scrub clothes or textiles that have gone mouldy. It may bleach the area though.

3. Bleach
Obtain: a good quality straightforward bleach without added chemicals from whereever you can.
Uses: I give my husband the job of scrubbing fabric with a weakened bleach solution to remove stubborn spores after washing or soaking in oil of cloves.

Also bleach is not as effective in my experience as the good old bicarb and vinegar trick in the shower.

These three items are pretty much all that stand between you and a mess of mould, so thats why I focus more on prevention than cure.

Cleanup Challenge - the Final Review

Last week I was busy doing my 30 minutes a day cleanup. It taught me a lot about motivation, and about the limitations of my illness (cleanup at night is bad for sleeping). It also did get me out of a few bad habits and into some good ones.

Bad habits that bit the dust last week during cleanup challenge were:
1. Resentment at jobs not done by my husband. This week past, I just got on with doing them myself.

2. Avoiding the rooms that are cluttered or messed up. This has been a big one for me, as the longer I avoid a room, the more opportunity that my clutterbug husband has been in it making a disaster area! So getting myself throughout the whole house daily has been important.

And the positive habits I am beginning have been:
1. Leaving each room a little brighter. This goes hand in hand with the whole concept of a daily clean-up and some days this is the way I spent my whole 30 minutes of the cleanup challenge, just going back and forth brightening up by de-messing. I have even started contemplating indoor plants again!



2. Continuing good habits in the laundry - I've made an effort to keep up the good progress from the laundry challenge and continue to complete a load of washing, not just keep putting more and more in the machine until the clean laundry ends up all over the laundry floor!

3. Keeping busy. Its kind of like leaving the room brighter, but more about the energy. I've just made sure that I have kept moving, kept cleaning and tidying as I go, rather than stopping to let myself get bogged down thinking about it all, I'm just getting stuck into the cleaning.

Today's keeping busy has rather shocked me - I seem to have blitzed a few things. I've been maintaining the newly cleared off windowsills free of my husband's attempts with several stray items over the past week or so to re-clutter the sill area with random things including: an electrical plug, random spices outside of my spice basket, washing up that needed doing (yes he put this on the windowsill!) and at one stage the random knives that USED to live up there were returned by him instead of thrown out! Never a dull moment living with a clutterer.

Ooops! Wayward Energy Bomb!

Yep, thats the energy bomb hitting town. It seems my 'daily 30 minute cleanup' has come unstuck on some very basic issues of stress and illness management. Apparently I find this whole cleaning at night thing far too stimulating! So far my evenings have been:
 Day 1 - successfully tipping out stuff and cleaning up plenty.

Day 2 - wiped out with pain and brain feeling too overwhelmed to do anything

Day 3 - bit more energy, a catch-up clean during the morning and now

Day 4 - evening after children asleep I'm just so grateful to have time in peace and quiet and again pained and feeling overwhelmed.

It is very clear that the IDEA of cleaning up every night is extremely inspiring. Not only do I get a 30 minute clean done, but during the day it seems more is tackled. It is building my awareness and also a sense of being capable of tackling boxes hiding in not-so-out-of-the-way corners! Today my husband and I went through an Ikea box together and put away everything that wasn't rubbish. Half the box went in the bin! There is more to this energy bombing than meets the eye. Am I simply getting afraid of succeeding when I tackle the daily cleanup? or too excited at the wrong time of day for helping me sleep? I think personally that I am finding the successful cleanups a little daunting, as it makes the possibility of clutter-free that little bit more real, so more important. But the time limit of doing it in the evening is very counter-intuitive for me. I have an auto-immune disease. Its never a good idea to do things that will disrupt a soothing night time. The National Sleep Foundation suggests to

•Spend some time "winding down." A person with insomnia needs a "buffer zone," a period of time to allow the activating processes in the brain to wind down to allow the alerting mechanisms to decrease their activity so that the sleep systems can take over. I suggest that you start winding down two hours before bedtime. Stop all work and end phone calls to family and friends, as often they are activating.

None of which I was achieving by doing any kind of cleaning "before bed". So the plan is to continue the 30 minute 'tidy up' challenge, but with the proviso that it needn't be at any particular point in the day, as long as the intention is similar to the 'end of day' concept, of tidying and neatening all around the house. Without causing me sleepless nights!